With friends like these...

Ahhh the joy of having Sug for a best friend... This is a blast from the way back machine...

49 things you should know about Fusche's butt

1. It's big.

2. It's really big.

3. It has more crater scars than the Sea of Tranquility.

4. It has disasterous El Nino implications.

5. It inspires tectonic shifting.

6. Downstairs neighbors get flooded out on a regular basis when the butt
hits the bathtub.

7. It has been officially recognized as a Terran Celestial Body.

8. Butt prints from Fusche on the beach have been mistaken as the mating
ground of two large walruses.

9. When sunning herself on the beach, well meaning environmentalists have
doused her butt with buckets of water and tried to push her back into the
surf.

10. Inspired movie: The Revenge of the Butt Monster! "SEE the monster eat
small villages, SEE small villagers crushed beneath the cheeks"

11. The hidden meaning to "Twin Peaks"

12. It's really, really big.

13. Standing downwind during a bean festival has been mistaken for the
Santa Anna winds - disasterous fires have developed.

14. No Movie Seat can hold her.

15. No Airplane can accomodate her.

16. No man can tame that butt - without a chair and a crane anyway.

17. The butt has tipped the scales on many a near fatal elevator accident
due to exceeding Max. load.

18. The butt, while swimming has been mistaken for, twin icebergs, alien
spacecraft and seismic anomalies.

19. It's really, really, really big.

20. The Geneva Convention has a Fusche Butt Clause.

21. There was some debate for a time whether Karl Malden's nose or Fusche's
Butt was larger in proportion by body part. Fusche won, butts down.

22. Iraq has developed Fushe's butt into a powerful biological weapon which
has been banned by NATO.

23. NATO has a special Fusche butt disaster recovery team in case Fusche's
butt should ever be detonated by accident.

24. Fusche has been banned to travel to poor starving countries, the
resulting panic of the natives chasing her with spears shouting "We could
eat for a year on that" has local officials terrified.

25. Group of Prospectors STILL looking for the Mother Lode.

26. The Bermuda Triangle is actually the zone from the middle of Fusche's
back to the bottom of each cheek.

27. NASA planning a 1999 exploration of Fusche's butt called the
Ballooner-probe.

28. Fusche's butt is the only organic structure visible from orbit.

29. Only natural formation known to be bigger than Russ Manzer's head.

30. It's really, really, really big.

31. Most acoustically perfect rump known to mankind.

32. Beluga whales have been known to swim 3000 miles out of their
territories to court Fusche's butt.

33. Stray sounds from Fusche's butt have been known to cause Pods of
Humpback whales to beach themselves in search of Pod-mates in distress.

34. The San Andreas fault was created during an unfortunate Fusche Slip and
Fall incident which incidentally is the only Liability Case on record where
the injured party is the State of California as opposed to the individual
who did the falling. Fusche is expected to pay 2.3 Billion in damages.

35. Janet Reno has appointed a special investigator to find out if Fusche's
butt is actually responsible for many outbreaks of Road-Rage.

36. A recent medical study has proven the grass roots theory that living
near Fusche's butt has the same medical ramifications as living near High
Power Overhead Lines.

37. Q: If Fusche's butt is loaded on a train in Memphis at 12:00 PM and
heads north at 56 mph, when will it arrive in Cleveland?
A: Hah, trick question, Fusche's butt won't fit on a train.

38. It's really, really, really, really big.

39. Was the secret weapon used by Reagan to free the Iran hostages: "Now
Ayatollah, play nice, or I drop Fusche's Butt on you." The hostages were
free within 3 hours.

40. An 'all clear' klaxon must be sounded before Fusche can sit down just
in case any small countries like Luxembourg are in the way.

41. 49 Cultists committed suicide determined to gain access to the alien
mother ship that is hiding in the shadow of Fusche's Butt. NASA determined
the investigation too risky when 53 probes were launched at the butt and
lost in an attempt to prove or disprove the spaceship theory.

42. When Fusche was a baby, her mother had a really hard time finding
diapers the size of Rhode Island every 1.5 hours. The economies of three
small countries were sacrificed to try and keep the offending rump covered.


43. The Siberian Tunguska (spelling?) Blast of 1908 was actually caused by
an unfortunate Fusche feeding frenzy involving truckloads of refried beans.

44. Conspiracy Theory: The Titanic did not hit an iceberg, it was struck by
the SS FuscheButt, a diabolical Naval Weapon developed by Otto Von Bismark
to ensure German Naval Superiority in the inevitable World Wars. The SS
FuscheButt was later scuttled to make way for the Nuclear Powered Fuschka
Buttka, the largest warship ever manufactured.

45. Used as a Object Model for Microsoft Windows '98.

46. The theory is that Ancient Egyptians, when designing the pyramids and
temples, practiced their stone lugging technique on Fusche's butt, the
biggest and heaviest thing they could get their hands on. Stonehenge was
created in a similar fashion.

47. Fusche's Butt is featured in 49 New England Sky Reports as being the
most popular set of Camelbacks in the region.

48. 149 Skiers were lost last year skiing the triple Black Diamond Trails
known as Fusche's Twins, The Crevice of Doom and the Ever popular Fusches
Frenzy, a three mile drop straight into what's known as The Pit of Despair.
All of these trails are on Mount FuscheButt.

49. It's really, really, really, really, really big