sometims...

Sometimes I just like to remind myself of the liberties I have as a US citizen and how I really enjoy them...

From the AP:
By SUZAN FRASER Associated Press Writer
© 2005 The
Associated Press

"ISTANBUL, Turkey — The presiding judge halted the trial
of Turkey's best-known novelist Friday, saying the court would need the approval
of the Justice Ministry for the trial to proceed.

Orhan Pamuk is accused
of insulting Turkey's national identity, a free speech case that has divided the
nation.

He faces up to three years in prison for saying to a Swiss
newspaper in February that Turkey is unwilling to deal with painful episodes in
its treatment of the country's Armenian minority or its continuing problems with
its 12 million Kurdish citizens.



Turkish novelist's trial halted
The trial of Turkish novelist Orhan Pamuk, charged with insulting the
national identity, was halted when the judge said the court would need the
approval of the Justice Ministry to proceed.

The case has led to
widespread criticism from the European Union, and the case is seen as a test of
Turkey's commitment to European standards of free speech. ......"

See, I can sit here and say: THE US SUCKS WITH RACIAL EQUALITY AND HUMAN RIGHTS!. or GEORGE BUSH IS ONE CHROMOSOME AWAY FROM AN ORANGUTAN ..(although I think that is actually insulting the orangutan).. And not have to go to jail or to trial for "insulting the national identity"... Gotta love the 1st Ammendment :)

How can Turkey hope to join the EU when it will not even discuss the horrible dark periods of it's history? The US can not progress until it addresses it's deep seeded racial inequality and backwards thinking when it comes to human rights, or it's open and (even worse) hidden descrimination against gays and lesbians and neither can Turkey progress unless it recognizes the mistakes it has made specifically with respect to genocide, women's rights, treatment of gays etc.

Who knew...

Okay..so I find these assessment things based on your birthday or name or what kind of ceral you eat incredibly funny. Below is what MY birthday supposedly means.

Your Birthdate: Not Tellin (although I did put it in for the thing)

You're incredibly introverted and introspective. You live inside your head. Oh so true don't you think? MUHAHAHAHAH You spend a lot of alone time meditating and thinking. 10 people in Italy..'nough said People see you as withdrawn, and at times they are right. Withdrawn?!?! People can't get me to shut up! 4 words folks: "Bring it home Steph!" You are caring and deep, but it may be difficult for you to show this side of yourself. Okay caring and deep yes... difficult to show it? I cry at frickin Hallmark commercials for christ's sake!! Your strength: Your original approach to thinking Oh yeah..I am an original alright.. Your weakness: You tend to shy away from others In which universe? Your power color: Pale blue Not since 1979 honey! Your power symbol: Wavy line um...er...whatever.. Your power month: July I live in Finland..of COURSE July is my power month..the sun barely frickin sets during that month!

These things are a HOOT!

Pretty soon I get to see this guy


Oh..yeah..and my family... :) I have the world's most rockinest 87 year old grams... isn't she great?!!

Officially...

Officially according to me Kristin Thomas shall now be known as the venerable Kristin "I am smarter than those silly people in white lab coats" Thomas a.k.a Dr. K. I have visited the very nice IwentToMedicalSchoolSoIShouldKnowWhatYouHave person at the hospital today to get the results of my bone marrow test. It turns out (and I have an officially signed paper to prove it) that I should have listened to K all along. I am certified as a Freak. I am an exception to the rule of white blood cell counts. The standard deviation of a white blood cell count is + or - 2% in the general population. Meaning at least 2 % of the population is either above or below the standard "acceptable" range when it comes to your white blood cells.

My Dr. confirmed to me today what K has said all along: "You have lesbian cooties and are a freak." It is true. My Dr (all Harvard edgumakayted and crap) told me that I am the execption even to the standard deviation rule. My white blood cell count is just, for me, normally and genetically twice that of everyone else. I am 100% healthy...and a freak of nature.

I should have listend to K in the first place. Then I wouldn't have had to have steel instruments stuck into my bones, x-rays, ultra sounds, blood tests galore and I wouldn't have had to travel to a bazillion doctor's appointments.

oooooohhhh I have cooties!!!!

Gotta Love Hypocracy

Okay..my little activist side is all in a huff right now. I am all about to whip out the big gaigundo rainbow flag, pink triangles, drag kings, gender-bending friends, gay priests...anyone I can find.

For those of you who don't know, I am a supporter in the fight against Breast Cancer. My very dear friend K is a breast cancer survivor (ROCK ON K!!) and I have known several women in my life with breast cancer. You, who know me, also know I have a real love of the music of Melissa Etheridge (yes I play softball, wear flannel occasionaly, own power tools and can open any damned jar without the help of a guy). Now, Ms. Etheridge has been an out and proud musician with over 25 Million albums sold world-wide. She is also a breast cancer survivor. Her battle with the disease was one that was open and not hidden - just like everything else in her life. So was Kristin's. Two very strong women from different socio-economic backgrounds, different careers, different friends, different cricles but with 2 things in common - both women, both with breast cancer. Okay, K isn't THAT different. She isn't gay, but let's face it, when your bridal party at your wedding included 2 lesbians and a gay man, you aren't a closed minded person. Just the opposite. K is one of the strongest women I know. That woman had side affects from Chemo that NO ONE should ever go through.. She was bald, sick, throwing up, tired, sad, exhausted emotionally ...the list can go on. Chemo, from all accounts, kicks the ever loving shit out of you.

Fast Forward - Grammy's 2005 - Ms. Etheridge performs a tribute to Janise Joplin after just having finished her last chemo treatment - bald as anything. Her hair was a big thing in her image and she admitted at first she was a bit concerned people would make fun of her, aside from being exhausted from chemo. Well..she decided to do it anyway because she never hid before and wouldn't hide now. Her performance was talked about around the world as inspiring and courageous. She received letters and comments from women all around the world, walks of life and stages of cancer stating what an inspiration she was to them to continue their fight - that if a 42 year old woman bald from chemo can perform in front of millions of people then they will not be ashamed of their baldness or be afraid to talk about their disease.

SO inspirational was her openly public battle with breast cancer that a major auto manufacturer approached her. Ford approached Melissa in 2005 about recording a single to serve as an anthem for the fight against breast cancer. The result, I Run for Life, is a song written and performed by Melissa that describes her own experience with the disease and also the experiences of every woman who has ever been touched by breast cancer. Ford, on their website describes her as:

" Grammy®Award winner, wife, and mother, Melissa Etheridge, knows just how
breast cancer can threaten our most precious human relationships. She also knows
how it endangers the most precious human relationship of all—the one we have
with ourselves. Diagnosed with breast cancer in late 2004, today she is
cancer-free. Hers is a success story. She fought breast cancer with all she had.
And, she won..."

So what does Ford do?!?!?!?

DETROIT - Ford Motor Co. said on Tuesday that its luxury Jaguar and Land Rover brands will no longer advertise in gay publications,...

Ford’s move came nearly a week after the Tupelo, Miss.-based American Family Association canceled a boycott of Ford vehicles that began in May, when the group criticized Ford for being too gay-friendly.

“We are ending the boycott of Ford,” association Chairman Donald Wildmon said in a statement Wednesday on the group’s Web site. “While we still have a few differences with Ford, we feel that our concerns are being addressed in good faith and will continue to be addressed in the future.”

You ask an out and proud Lesbian who is a breast cancer survivor to write a song to show how much Ford cares about women's health, said artist contributes ALL of the royalties from that song to Breast Cancer Research and then you turn around and stop advertising in Gay magazines because the conservative Christian right threatens to boycott your product?!?!? You hypocritical bastards.

I know people will say: " It was a business decision." MY BIG FAT ASS it was. Pure and simple they caved. The gay community should stand up and be noticed in this. Gay market reports that 78 percent of gay online users prefer to buy from companies that advertise to the gay market. More affluent. The gay and lesbian market is perhaps the most affluent and loyal affinity group of all. More discretionary income. The average middle-class family spends over one million dollars to raise a child through age 22. Some gay people have kids. Most don't. Where are they spending that money? EVERYWHERE.... Take a look at THIS list FORD.. Seriously people...

Research shows that gay consumers are...

Over twice as likely as national index to be professionals or managers

Average household income over $85.4K

Are 3.4 times more likely to have household income over $250K

The 2000 Census showed gay men and lesbians living with partners in 99.3 percent of all U.S. counties

Research shows 9 percent of urban populations are gay and lesbian

Twice as likely to have graduated from college

Gay men and lesbians go out more, buy more, have more disposable income and are extremely loyal consumers

Gay and lesbian consumers purchase from companies/brands that advertise in gay media, deliver product messages in gay-specific advertising, support gay and lesbian community causes and are good to their own gay and lesbian employees

Four times as likely to spend over $150 on long distance monthly

Twice as likely to spend $250 on cellular service
Over 90 percent took a domestic trip this year

60 percent took a foreign trip in the last three years

65 percent identify themselves as having to have the "latest"

68 percent upgrade to a product's latest model

77 percent "believe in indulging in themselves"

57 percent "prefer to buy top of the line"

59 percent buy themselves whatever they want

I say hit Ford where it counts. In the WALLET.

At the behest of Sug

Okay here it is. In a conversation with my best friend the other day (gotta love a 10 hour and 30 degree F difference), we were discussing my blog. I know she reads it because she gives amusing and insightful comments. Okay not so insightful, we save those for actual voice conversations. As most of you know, I have the utmost respect for my Sug (aka Beth Martin) and we will discuss anything from religion to politics to the weather. I asked if she had read my post on the whole Vatican decree about gays in the priesthood and she had mentioned that she didn't want to offend anyone so she didn't put a comment. ..don't worry I told her she was being dumb. She then asked if I had followed the stories about the civil unrest in France. Okay Riots. Plain and simple riots. And I told her I had, but had refrained from commenting on them because...because....well..I don't know precisely why....which is when I promptly called MYSELF dumb. SO at the behest of SUG here goes.

The Riots in France
by: Me

Lots of people got mad and burned stuff. The end.

Just joking. Okay one of the things that I am in some perverse way happy about, is that these riots took place in France. Let me go on the record as saying Riots are never a good thing. Innocent people get hurt and in some cases killed; property gets damaged and lots of businesses, who otherwise were harmless and serve the community, get destroyed. Now that the disclaimer is done with. I am pleased that situations with horrible racial and economic inequality which result in unmitigated violence happen in countries other than the US as well. Seriously folks. I live in Europe. My mom is Portuguese and my Dad is French. The country that seems to think it has the greatest social system in the world just had 20 days of terror and bloodshed due to the economic and racial divide that exists between people of color (in this case also immigrants and muslim) and the white majority during the month of November. As many of you know, I am not usually the one to wave the American Flag around and shout from the roof tops about how great the US is. The US is a great country in many respects but also has a long way to go in others. HOWEVER, sometimes it gets my little ackadack (Sug's word for my portuguese heritage) blood boiling to so often be exposed to outright anti-American sentiment and hatred. I can not tell you how many times I have listened to the Anti-American-Bigger-Bully-Stupid President-War Mongering Bastards speech and politely turned the other way. Now it is time to say: Hey, we aren't the only country with racial and economic problems!


Well Mr Chirac, how about you look to your own country with it's 8973 vehicles burned and it's 2888 arrests! The inhabitants of the French suburbs (banlieue) suffer from unemployment at a much higher level than that of the rest of France. And according to data gathered by the BBC unemployment of people of foreign origin is 1.5 times higher than that of people of French origin, after adjusting for educational qualifications. An unemployment rate of 5% for French university graduates can be compared to the unemployment rate of 26.5% for university graduates of north African origin. Racial and religious discrimination against persons with dark skin or Muslim-sounding names has been cited as a major cause of unhappiness in the areas affected.

...see the US isn't the only country with problems.... I am not going to sit here and say I support the war in Iraq. I don't. I am not going to sit here and say that there isn't a problem with racisim in the US. There is. I am not going to sit here and say that there isn't a huge economic gap between white and black in the US. There is. I am not going to say that there isn't a problem with religious intolerance (ironic considering the 1st ammendment) in the US. There is. But I am going to sit here and say: No country is perfect so quit bashing the US all the time.

uh-oh..maybe I should get 2?

For those of you who don't know, I have a deadly allergy to nuts. I was surfing MSNBC today and oh my. Some people don't get it..they think..allergy=pop a claritin or allegra and you will be fine.


Maybe I should get another epi-pen?

"SAGUENAY, Quebec - A 15-year-old girl with a peanut allergy died after
kissing her boyfriend, who had just eaten a peanut butter snack, hospital
officials said Monday.

Christina Desforges died in a Quebec hospital
Wednesday after doctors were unable to treat her allergic reaction to the kiss
the previous weekend.

Desforges, who lived in Saguenay, about 155 miles north
of Quebec City, was almost immediately given a shot of adrenaline, a standard
tool for treating the anaphylactic shock brought on by a peanut allergy,
officials said...."

Damn you Paul Simon!!

Okay..strange title I know. But all that was going through my head today was Simon and Garfunkle's "Sound of Silence". It was kind of ironic actually. Okay morbid. If you have been reading this blog for a while, you know about the upteenmillion doctor's I have had to go see and the bazillion tests I have had to figure out why the hell my white blood cell count is over 100% higher than it should be. Yep, you guessed it..I had another test today. Let me just say that at least this internal specialist was honest with me when she said "This will hurt." No sugar coated "you may experience mild discomfort" crap. When a doctor says "you may experience mild discomfort", they mean pain. Plain and simple...pain.

...so back to Morbid. The test I had was a bone marrow test. The doctor who is treating me speaks English beautifully, but she wanted me to be sure I understood the test, so she asked me to look it up and make sure her description matched the one I found. Gotta love WebMD : "A bone marrow biopsy uses a special tool that twists into the bone. You may feel pressure at the site and hear a crunching sound as the tool twists into the bone " CRUNCHING?!?!?! CRUNCHING?!?! What the fuck!!?! (pardon my language). Not only that...I get the extra special: "In rare cases, a fluid sample is removed from the breastbone.."

And then I see this part about possible Risks: "Injury to your heart, a lung, or a major blood vessel if the sample is taken from the breastbone (sternum). However, most bone marrow samples are not taken from the breastbone, so this problem is not common. " - tell that to my sternum buddy!

Yes folks, they twisted a giant frickin pointy metal tube into my sternum this morning and then stuck a frickin long ass needle and pointy other thing and snipped and sucked out stuff that shouldn't be on the outside of ANYONE's body at any time. Not only that, the first sample wasn't enough..they had to do it TWICE! Lemme just tell ya..that shit don't tickle.

The whole time...I am hearing the crunching noise of my breastbone being drilled into fucking Paul Simon singing "..it's the sound...of Silence.." is going through my fucking head! This test hurt like a mo-fo and now I have this strange sensation of my sternum weighing MORE than it did before not to mention a nice hole in the middle of my chest. Doc says it's normal. Okay so was my Pulp Fiction-type nightmare -complete with John Travolta slamming one giagundo frickin needle in to my chest normal too?

...right...results on the 13th of December...

And to think I used to be a Catholic

This just in from CNN:

(CNN) -- In an eagerly awaited document, the Vatican has
reiterated its policy against gay priests, but has said it would allow those who
have "clearly overcome" homosexual tendencies to start the process of becoming a
priest.
In spelling out its position on Tuesday, the Vatican office that
deals with education within the Catholic Church made a distinction between
deep-seated homosexual tendencies and what it called "the expression of a
transitory problem."
"The Church, while profoundly respecting the persons in
question, cannot admit to the Seminary and to Holy Orders those who practice
homosexuality, present deeply rooted homosexual tendencies or support the
so-called gay culture," the document said.
But the document said when
"homosexual tendencies are only the expression of a transitory problem ... these
must be clearly overcome at least three years prior to diaconate
ordination." (see CNN for the complete article)

Okay.."overcome" homosexual tendencies....isn't that what the majority of gay priests have done? Those gay priests who keep their vow of celebacy have "overcome" right? They do not violate their vow, they do not have sex with other men, they preside over mass, hear confessions, perform sacraments, advise, comfort, listen....in other words they are a Priest! How can the Vatican honestly think that a priest who is gay and is keeping his vow of celebacy HASN'T "overcome". Straight priests "overcome" their heterosexual tendencies when they take the same vow for christ's sake! (pun intended). They can't take a gay man who has been sexually active (ie. practice homosexuality) but they can take a straight man who has been active but who also now hears the higher calling of God? The Church has always taught since the First Century of the 20th Century that homosexuality, aside from being a grave sin, is also "..an intrinsic disorder. A psychosexual disorder." So if we go along those thoughts, there are many priests with psychological disorders - depression. anxiety, complusion, bi-polar disorder - just to name a few, but they don't try to root out those individuals do they? I have priests in my family and while I have the greatest respect for their faith and dedication to their vocation, I personally don't really care if they are gay or straight. When a priest is ordained, he takes a vow of celebacy. How can a "psychosexual" disorder such as homosexuality even be relevant if the vow is upheld. Isn't it just as bad for a priest to violate his vow either way? Or is it more forgivable if he beds one of his female parishoners or better yet, Sister Mary Whatshername from the convent next door? Having sexual thoughts outside of wedlock is considered sinful in any form. Does the Vatican really think that the straight priests don't have a randy fantasy every now and again? Gimme a break.

Oh..and while I am at it..what the hell is a "transitory problem" as related to homosexuality? Seriously. I mean transitory...hmmm...does that mean transitioning from having sex with someone of the same gender to abstaining? Does it mean like, the visit to the gay bar on Friday was a transitory one so I am not really gay? I don't know any true homosexual, who identifies as a homosexual, that would ever say it is a "transitory" condition or problem. It isn't like they are gonna wake up in the morning tomorrow and say .. "Hmm..now I prefer women". Bi-sexuality is a different animal altogether. Does this tranistory problem mean that they transition from gay to straight and back again? Now, before you get all nasty with me, I know damned well what the definition of transitory is. I just can't believe the Church thinks being gay can be transitory. Of course I also can't believe the Church thinks that being gay is a choice.....

...oh yeah...sorry for not posting for a while...I have been hella busy.... So Hei to Hale and Mira, Suga to Sug, HI! to Sarah, Kristin, Mel, Duane, Laura, John, Patricia, Bryan (who I am sure doesn't read this), etc..etc... and so on...

My unpopular opinion?

From YLE the state news agency here in Finland:


Government Debates Fertility Rights Proposal
Published 09.11.2005, 09.49

The government begins grappling with its policies for fertility treatments on Wednesday. A controversial proposal by the Ministry of Justice would grant treatments to single women and lesbian couples, and make it easier to trace the identity of sperm and egg donors. The plan was written up by previous Justice Minister Johannes Koskinen, but is now being presented by his successor, Leena Luhtanen. After government ministers debate the proposal, it will be sent on to Parliament for consideration.The plan would allow married and single women, as well as lesbian couples, to seek state-sponsored fertility treatments and in-vitro fertilisation. The plan also loosens restrictions on the privacy of sperm and egg donors. If approved, the law would make it possible for people to find out the identity of their biological parents once they reached the age of 18. The government has been trying to put together some guidelines for fertility treatments off and on for the past 20 years. The previous attempt in 2003 failed over the question of whether sperm donors can be traced by their biological children.

Now, I am all for the right for women to try IVF and aritificial insemination no matter what their sexual orientation or marrital status is. What I am a bit concerned with is the privacy of the donor of the sperm. I am not so sure, if I were a guy (and thankfully I am not), that I would want an 18 year old popping up on my doorstep sayin "I am your child." .... It is a tough position to take, but I would vote for keeping the anonymous donor anonymous. I know it is probably an unpopular view, but if the child was conceived out of love and is raised knowing how he/she came into the world then I don't see how giving them the identity of the man who donated sperm is going to make a difference to them.

just sayin...

Dinner parties

Right, so I remember as a child when my parents would have a dinner party. They would be happy and the time was where their friends would arrive dressed up an looking sophisticated. My little green eyes would spy them from the bannister, women dressed in their skirts and sweater sets and their dates/husbands in crisply ironed white dress shirts and creases in their trousers so sharp they looked as though they could slice paper. Everyone looked so sophisticated with their gimlets and stingers...

Grown up me... Dinner parties are fun..but work... Especially if you are invited to a dinner party by new friends and all of a sudden you find yourself in the kitchen cooking the entire meal for 9 people! Isn't the answer to the polite query "Can I help you with anything?" "Not at all, have a glass of wine and relax. Have you met ".... ???????

Seriously..went to a dinner party..asked if there was anything I could do to "help" and the next thing I know I have prepared (chopping appropriate veggies included), Shitake Mushroom Soup, Steamed Veggies, Wild Rice and a lovely pan seared chicken with a spicey honey glaze...

My new friends are soooooo not good at the dinner party thing....

GRRRR

Okay..in an attempt to stop the spammers from posting how much they love my blog and I should check out their: real estate, single women, mortgage information, animal sitting, knitting etc etc blogs, I have turned on the comment verification feature of this thing... I know it may be inconvenient for all 6 of you who read my blog..but get over it..I am sick of spam

...now for a relaxing breakfast with Mira....TA!!

Mmmm mannequins

"The whole theme of the display was sadomasochistic and implied
lesbianism…I
felt like I was walking down a street in Amsterdam and watching the
prostitutes sitting in the windows trying to lure in customers. Victoria’s
Secret has pushed the envelope so far, where can they go next? Live sex acts
in
their windows? … We should not have to fear going shopping at a mall…”

--Traditional Values Coalition’s Executive Director Andrea Lafferty,
who,
armed with her camera, waged war on Victoria’s Secret at the Tyson’s
Corner Mall
in McLean, Virginia.

Shopping for underwear with Andrea Lafferty must be like having a root canal!

I don't get what she is so pissed about. A Victoria’s Secret window display, in which two mannequins are spooning in a bed, one mannequin is posed on its hands and knees as if crawling and one is tied up with ropes. Each mannequin is wearing the typical Victoria’s Secret fashion---gasp---unmentionables!!!

Unusual? Yes. But to wage a war on a store for a window display? In fact, I don’t know what’s more bizarre — “lesbian” mannequins slinky undergarments or Christian conservatives taking pictures of “lesbian” mannequins in slinky undergarments.

Next thing you know she will be jumping on that hysterically odd logic train that ultra conservatives seem to ride regularly and propose that "lesbian” mannequins who have “sex” with other “lesbian” mannequins will soon want to have “sex” with “animal” mannequins. Who knows...she may still do just that. Next stop Creepyville. It always amazes me how lesbians or gays getting married or as consenting adults are intimate privately behind closed doors in there home together always gets to the
"animals" stage. Seriously folks, and they say gay people are messed up?!?!?

How do you even determine if a mannequin is a lesbian? Is there a test of some sort that I don't know about?...

Feeling Philosophical

"Run for your life from any man who tells you that money is evil. That sentence is the leper's bell of an approaching looter. "

"So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of all money? "

- Ayn Rand -

Just cause..

Little Things

It is the little things that make me happy. I have now lived in Finland for almost 2 years. It was somewhat of a culture shock when I first moved, but nothing that sent me running for the next plane back to Beantown. Life is a journey and I have a philosophy that every day I should learn something. It doesn't matter if it is something small or big or about me or the world. Learning should never stop.

I learned something today. It is the little things at work that can make you feel good about your job and your ability to do it. In the States it is common to commend someone for a job well done. If they have performed well in a difficult or stressful situation, a simple "Good Job!", or "Thanks so much for your hard work, I appreciate it." From my experiences in Finland, not so much of that here. It is sort of expected that it is your job and you do it. Period. At the end of a successful project the team will most likely go out for beer or have a launch celebration, but individual compliments are hard to come by.

So ..my project from hell is proceeding and I had to give a 2 hour presentation today (complete with a snazzy powerpoint slide presentation, pivot tables, charts etc) - at the end of it, the Project Manager said "I had a feeling you knew what you were doing. Now I KNOW you do. I am very happy." - That is HUGE for me!

Suddenly I am not as stressed as I was before, even though I still have 346356 meetings a day and 3636456 things to get done. That simple little "I am happy." from my PM made a TON of my stress go away...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....now time for a hot cocoa to celebrate...then back to the grind....

...did I mention it has snowed already here?...brrr....slippery ice covered sidewalks are scary at o'dark thirty in the morning...

..finding my "happy place"...

...okay. It is really hard to find my "happy place" right now. Work is absolute madness. I have 346356 meetings a day and 3636456 things to get done from said meetings, but no time to do it. Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE to be rushed?... holy mother of god this is frustrating... I feel like I have to hand hold everyone through the tasks which they are supposed to get done and if I don't do it the tasks WON'T get done....

I think some 80's music is in order on my headphones today and a big sign on the back of my chair that says "Cranky Pants. If you value living don't bother me."......

Mmm..Pasta

Ouch! My Liver! MIDNIGHT!! (long post folks)

So, I am back from a week in southern Italy. Sun, pasta, wine, scooters…did I mention past and wine..oh and more wine..and more wine..and more wine..and pasta..and a bit of wine. It was a week of laughter and fun. 8 Americans, 1 Canadian and a Finn all converged on the unsuspecting Hotel Residencia Le Terazze for a week of what turned out to be tons of fun.

Day 1
Mira and I arrived on Saturday afternoon and caught up with Brian and Pepe his disturbing South American accented alter ego. Poor Brian lost his camera, hadn’t slept for almost 2 days and had to endure ME all the way from the airport in Napoli to Sorrento. It was the full Planes, Trains and Automobiles experience. Let’s face it, I can’t be quiet. It is physically impossible for me. I have a mouth that just doesn’t shut up. Ever. After getting totally robbed by the Taxi driver – 42 freakin euro for a normally 23 euro taxi ride - (can you say little button next to the gear shift which adds 8 euros every time the little old bastid hit it surreptitiously while changing gears?) we arrived at the hotel. What do I find 2 terraces over from us? An energetic group of geriatrics from, of all places, New Frickin Hampshire! They heard my loud voice on the phone with my stepmom, who has the uncanny ability to bring out my latent Boston accent that I worked very hard to lose, and one little old lady decided to come over and say “Excuse me, but I heard an American accent.” They were very nice and were surprised to find that 6 out of the 8 Americans were all from New England at some point in their life. – spooky-

K, D, Mel, Laura, John, Patricia, and Sarah were all up the hill at the little village (Sant’ Agata) getting munchie stuff so we could all nosh and get reacquainted. Fast forward to dinner at the restaurant in the hotel next door (our’s didn’t really have one) and K has a brilliant plan..again. She buys 4 bottles of Cianti from the restaurant and we treck them back the 60 feet to our terrace. We proceed to crack em open and fun and hilarity ensued. It had been so long since we were all in one place (for those of us who knew each other previously) that we couldn’t stop cracking up. We had a blast. Opening our arms and hearts to the new ones (shout out to Sarah, Patricia and Brian) and it turns out they are as nuts, or even MORE nuts than we are in some cases! Happy happy joy joy it was great…up until… MIDNIGHT!!!! There is nothing that can prepare you for having an old man in his old-man jammies come storming out of his door and without preamble or any kind of nicety yell: “MIDNIGHT!! MIDNIGHT!!! “ at you. Okay..I can understand someone requesting that you keep it down cause they are trying to sleep, but JESUS..it was a SATURDAY night and the carriage had JUST turned back into the pumpkin fer chrissake. Needless to say we all mumbled “..um..sorry” like chastised children and decided to call it a night. Of course the giggling just got worse everytime one of us cranked out “MIDNIGHT!!!” in a stage whisper!... Good times…

Sorrento is a beautiful place. Really. One thing though. The drivers of the cars are nuts, but the scooter drivers are worse. Seriously. I knew that Italy had some scooter action going on, but WOW. Freaky. Dad’s with their little 5 year olds in front of them zooming through traffic missing car bumpers by mere inches… I think they teach them early. Mira and I had contemplated renting a scooter while there before we arrived…after arriving and SEEING how they drove..NO FRICKIN WAY!!!

Days 2-6
Because I am horrible at remembering exactly which day we did what…here goes:
Ristorante Museo Caruso
- This restaurant was so yummie that we went there twice despite the cost. The entire restaurant is dedicated to the famous opera singer from Naples, Enrico Caruso. It is (as the name says) a beautiful museum dedicated to the memory of the opera singer and his love for good food. The atmosphere is decidedly upscale and the service is wonderful. Gotta give MAD props to Reno! Reno was the waiter from heaven. What a guy! Funny and incredibly accommodating. He recommended a local wine that was fabulous on our first visit! The second visit was decided to be our “dress up” event – which Mira said for her meant shoes and socks. John recommended we book a chef’s table and let the chef have at it. What a great decision. DUDE..it was AWESOME. D and K were incredibly generous and wouldn’t let any of us pay. Duane said it is a tradition in the UK that when someone invites you out for a birthday dinner that THEY pay. I am very grateful for their generosity…although it probably means they won’t be able to eat for a month in the UK!...

…Back to the Hotel and more booze…and a drunken call to Sug (you knew it was coming)

Capri
- … the island of Capri is lovely. We took the ferry over and decided to take a boat tour around the island so we could see La Grotta Azzurra (The Blue Grotto). HOLY HELL was there some CHOP on the Med THAT day. I thought I was gonna toss! There was some serious nausea all around from the trip out to the Grotto. Anywho..the Grotto: It was “discovered” in 1826 by a German writer (August Kopisch). It is a natural cave and the magic of it is that sunglight, passing through an underwater cavity and shining through the water creates a blue reflection that illuminates the cavern. Breathtaking. To get into it, the big boat we took to the cave moors outside and these men in little row boats row up and help you down to their boat and you sit on the bottom of it. There are usually a max of 4 people in the boat with the “driver”. When he gets to the opening he tells you to duck – trust me he means it – and then pulls the boat via a chain anchored to the wall through the opening. The rock of the opening passes within about 6 inches of your head..creepy! Once inside, they row you around and when the boat turns you see the reflection. It is gorgeous. The whole time the drivers are sining opera. Lemme tell ya, there is nothing like it… Of course the drivers foot that ended up in Sarah’s “area” was an unexpected feature of the trip for her…

…The Gardens of Augustus – Mira’s work mate mentioned that we MUST go to the gardens if we want to see an absolutely beautiful view. She was right. Gorgeous. We have some amazing photos. The flowers were just beautiful and everything was so peaceful. The group ended up having a foto taken of us by a very nice lady (American) who was so patient. And funny. She made sure at least most of us had a photo of the group. Gotta hand it to that lady – she was able to figure out multiple digital cameras AND Sarah’s actual film camera (seriously.this camera is so old I expected an archeologist explination to accompany it).

…back upup (aka hotel) more booze

“Girls Day” – aka lazy day
K, Sarah, Mra and I decided to laze about one day while everyone else went downdowndown (aka Sorrento). We lounged by the pool and tried to recover from our hangovers…We read a bit and at about 3 decided to head upupup (aka Sant’Agata) for some lunch. Can you say 2 hours to get food? We were some seriously cranky women by the time our food arrived. The temperature also dropped at the village and being in shorts, sandals and various very light clothing (not gonna give you the low down on all our outfits..that would be way too girly for me) we hopped in a taxi back down.

…later dinner..and …um..more booze…

Shopping and the Marina
- we ambled through the shopping area and looked at the goods for sale…some interesting stuff there… like a WINE shop! Mmmm…wine…

…later…dinner and um…more booze…

Pompei
- The one thing that the Hotel manager guy actually got right..was his private guide for us for Pompei. Raefaelle (totally butchering the spelling). He was GREAT. He took all 10 of us on a 2 ½ hour tour of the ruins of Pompei and gave us a great history lesson. Very nice man! He was so worth the 100 euros for the 2 ½ hours…really..rockin. Pompei is a really great archeological site and if you ever have a chance to see it..GO! Some of the group wanted to see Vesuvius, but unfortunately the weather was way too cloudy for it. – sad. I have seen a volcano (an actual active one) and I was hoping that they could see it.

….right…more booze…

Summary
It was a great trip and we met some new people who are now counted as friends. I know I left a TON out of this ..but hey..my fingers are tried from typing…. Interesting note: the 49 Things may officially be 50. Sug has the final say, but it is nice to know that “IT” is an actual mute button… :)

Alcohol and emotion

Right, so the other night I was out with Mira and we had dinner..and a few drinks. So drinks turned into more drinks..and before I knew it I was a bit tipsy. I think we were preparing our livers for Italy. Anywhozamawhatzit..discussions turned to "Who do you turn to (partner's, husbands, wives..etc excluded) when you really need to talk or just wanna hang out without having to say much." Long topic I know, but after many drinks, condensed conversation is not even remotely possible. I don't think she even finished the question before I answered it. I am not trying to disrespect my other very close friends, but let's face it: Most people have a friend that they can tell anything to. That friend that can know what you are thinking just by looking at you..and sometimes they don't even have to do that. So close that you almost share a brain. You know the type. That friend that puts up with your moody crappy attitude when you are tired and hungry. That friend that will not tell you how much they are not fond of your current S.O until AFTER you break up. That friend that you can call at 3AM..broken down on the side of the road 100 miles away and they will come get you. The one who you can show up on their doorstep and with just a glance and no questions asked they know that you just need to "be" and they hand you a drink without pushing the subject. The friend who will look at you and say "You are being a complete bitch."...and coming from them you know it is true.

The friend who no matter how long it has been since you last spoke..when you call or they call..it is like you just finished a conversation 5 minutes ago and are picking up from where you left off before the stupid call waiting beeped in... That friend that you will drive 70 miles each way several times a week to feed their cats and clean the litter boxes cause they are on vacation. That same friend who you will totally forget to pick up at the airport because you are too stupid to put the return flight information on the CORRECT day in your calendar thus resulting in said friend and spouse spending ungodly amounts of money on a taxi home from the airport to an entirely different state, and they STILL talk to you.....

Hours and hours of laughing so hard you almost pull a muscle...The friend who will honestly look at you and say: Yes that DOES make you look fat... I don't think I have to keep going...

Anyway..so I looked at Mira and without even thinking about it "Sug" came out of my mouth.

Totally serious. Sug is that friend.

Nothin but love for you SUG.... and incase anyone was curious..her actual name is Beth...and even though I live 7,000 miles away from her right now..she is still my best friend and I wouldn't have it any other way.

...wow..I am way too mushy...

hmmm...

Have you ever had that moment where something is said at just the right time and in the right way that you start laughing...and can't stop. Everytime you try to stop, a new fit of giggles wracks your body. You laugh so hard your stomache muscles ache, you can't breathe, tears come streaming from your eyes...

...well if you haven't then you are missing out on a great thing. It happened to me this weekend. I laughed so hard I cried. My stomache hurt, my cheeks hurt from laughing so long and so hard. It was so liberating...

...try it sometime....

....one line did it..."...that's not Nancy..."

Fusche 2:15

A reading from the Book of Fusche (ardent follower of the FSM) Chapter 2, verse 15:

And it was decreed if thou hast need of drawing of the blood thou must seek the
ministrations of the mystical metal implement which shall be wielded by those
adept and trained in its use. Thou must not subject thyself to charlatans posing
as an Adept in the vestments of the mystical white lab coat. If thou dost do so,
thou whilst be set upon by darkening of thy skin in those areas where the vile
impostor hath, as such, jabbed thine formerly pristine area. Ye shall suffer
great discomfort and agitation; bringing about great bitching and moaning which
shall fall upon thine companions ears much like the sound of one's fingernails
being draggeth upon a chalkboard. So go forth ye to the true Adept for thine
drawing of the blood. Ye shall know them by the mystical name of: Phlebotomist.
Cleanly and precisely shall this Adept place the mystical metal implement to
thine skin drawing forth many vials of thine valuable life force leaving not a
blemish to mark its passing."

One needle, one phlebotomist, 3 minutes, 5 vials of blood, no bruising. All praise to the FSM.

Now I can relax for my trip to Italy.

:)

Tom Delay - indicted
Judith Miller - singing the truth about Mr. Cheney's chief of staff
CT Civil Unions - same rights, different word..are gays now "civilized"?

Just wanted to share the happiness..

:)

brain...dead...must...revive

Okay..so I have been brain dead and hella busy lately. Sue me.

Between looking for a flat to buy (holy hell there are some real dumps out there), visiting the dentist twice for fillings, 439064 meetings a day, planning for Italy, visiting the bank and getting an education on how mortgages work here, fighting with the frickin IRS in the States (doesn't bode well I know) and social engagements I am down right over extended!...

Good news: Kristin arrived safe in India. At least I hope so. A blog entry showed up on her blog so I am going to assume it wasn't a random person entering stuff. If it was they need to really get a life and they are so not as cool as she is. I am going to do the safe assumption and believe she is all safe and sound :)..not to mention her IM says she is in Bangalore :)

Another good thing. The West Wing started again in the states! Thank god for an s-video port on my video card (and an s video cable :) )and the internet. Woohoo..back in the mix! Disclaimer: Not that I would EVER download anything from the internet..I have never even seen this magical thing called the world wide web..

Desparate Housewives started again too! - small victories I know.

The Folks are still radically remodeling the house I grew up in. I am afraid when we go for our visit at Christmas that I won't recognize it at all. They have put all new windows and doors, redid both bathrooms (at the same time...note to Papa..not smart disabling both bathrooms at once) and the kitchen. They have repainted the whole thing inside, put a new floor in the kitchen, new carpeting in the living room, a whole new electrical system - got rid of a window and put in sliding doors to a 15x24 deck they are having built off the back....

At least the "guest room" - formerly known as MY room - is still in the same place. Okay..I really need to get over that. I am over 30 and haven't lived there for over 16 years and I still think of it as "my room". Having my giagundo bedroom set from the house I sold when I moved to Finland in that room doesn't help dispell the childish possessive streak I have for that mauve room. Mauve. Yes Mauve. Some people would call it Pink, but don't do it in front of me!
It was the first home "remodeling" project I ever did. Papa taught me how to strip wall paper, spackle and sand until the wall is smooth and how to paint edging and walls without leaving brush stroke marks. We spent a week doing that project together. It was one of the best bonding experiences with my Papa. 13 Years later he beamed with pride when I showed him my first home - completely remodeled by me and by hand. All fresh clean striped walls, spackeld and painted, sanded and poly'd hardwood floors (after ripping out wall to wall orange shag carpeting and finding beautiful solid oak floors beneath which just needed a little love and tenderness), freshly repaired ceilings with recessed lighting, a brand new italian tile floor in the kitchen... I cried when he saw it. So did he. I let him put up my new mailbox (him being a postman and all)... Point..it is probably going to happen all over again here in Finland. Part of me is sad that Papa won't be here to see it done. I am still holding out hope that we can get him and my stepmom on a plane to Helsinki...

right...back to work for me..

Who knew Ellen was to blame...

If it weren't for the huge number of people who look to this man as a spiritual leader I would laugh.

And I quote:

Pat Robertson on Sunday said that Hurricane Katrina was God’s way of expressing its anger at the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences for its selection of Ellen Degeneres to host this year’s Emmy Awards. “By choosing an avowed lesbian for this national event, these Hollywood elites have clearly invited God’s wrath,” Robertson said on “The 700 Club” on Sunday. “Is it any surprise that the Almighty chose to strike at Miss Degeneres’ hometown?”Robertson also noted that the last time Degeneres hosted the Emmys, in 2001, the September 11 terrorism attacks took place shortly before the ceremony.
“This is the second time in a row that God has invoked a disaster shortly before lesbian Ellen Degeneres hosted the Emmy Awards,” Robertson explained to his approximately one million viewers. “America is waiting for her to apologize for the death and destruction that her sexual deviance has brought onto this great nation.”
Robertson added that other tragedies of the past several years can be linked to Degeneres’ growing national prominence. September, 2003, for example, is both the month that her talk show debuted and when insurgents first gained a foothold in Iraq following the successful March invasion. “Now we know why things took a turn for the worse,” he explained.
In order to avoid further tragedy, Robertson called not only for the Television Academy to find a new heterosexual host, but to bar all homosexuals and bisexuals from taking part in the ceremony.
He said employees at the Christian Broadcasting Network had put together a list of 283 nominees, presenters, and invited guests at the Emmys known to be of sexually deviant persuasions.
“God already allows one awards show to promote the homosexual agenda,” Robertson declared. “But clearly He will not tolerate such sinful behavior to spread beyond the Tonys.”

Only 283 people? Wow, someone was not really doing their job properly. This is Hollywood folks there are more gay people in 2 square miles than that entire list! On a side note it is nice to know that God likes musicals....maybe he is a FOD? Not that there is ANYTHING wrong with that :)

FOD= Friend of Dorothy. For all you people not up on the homo lingo that means gay.

Guilty Pleasures and Shite

Right..so I have this guilty pleasure. I can't help myself...but I have to watch Footballers Wive$. It is complete trash TV..but I am addicted. I also have to watch Bad Girls. I know it is also complete trash, but without my 800 channels of cable that I used to get in the States there are few options for me to feed my TV Addiction with. I already read 4 books a month and play squash and am beginning my Finnish classes at the University again..so don't even start with the "get a hobby" crap. TV is my de-res time. I miss 800 channels.. Okay I don't miss 800 channels... I miss the Discovery Channel, TCM, E, Bravo, NBC, ABC, and Comedy Central. I also miss Showtime... Damn it! I want to be able to see REAL TIME, the West Wing, Inside the Actor's Studio, 20/20, The Daily Show, The L Word, random comedy specials with stand-ups that make you spit out your diet coke from laughing so hard.

I am not going to say Finnish TV is complete Shite, because it has its share of social porn (Cheaters anyone?) and imported British TV as well as US TV (albeit 2 seasons behind). If it wasn't for the net, I would be HOPELESSLY behind on the whole Jimmy Smits running for the Pres thing. Last season's West Wing is running now..at 11:15 in the frickin evening! S-video cable and a video card to the rescue thank goodness...

Maybe it is a good thing I can't watch so much TV? Nah... Screw that shite, I love TV!

cough..hack..sneeze..sniffle..BASTARD!!..and the radio

Okay so as I posted earlier - I have a WICKED chest/head cold. I am up all hours of the night coughing and hacking up disgusting icky yuckiness out of my lungs and my sinuses are so full I feel like I am walking around with an extra 10lbs just in my head. Let's not go anywhere near the amount of extra weight I am carrying in other places - I am a cranky yank right now - Not to mention that with the stuffed sinuses comes the inability to hear anything which isn't shouted or roared at me. note to self: look both ways 3 times before crossing the street/train tracks/etc until I can hear properly again

I spent the last 3 days on a Certification course which my employer requires I pass. I took the exam and now have to wait for 3 weeks or so for the results. Three days of a very nice man droning on and on about BS 7925-1 and 2..IEEE 829..all the technical mumbo jumbo. The whole while I am hacking up what remains of my lungs, single handedly depleating the national supply of nose tissues and infecting the entire air space with my germs from hell. I would have much rather stayed home in bed with a nice cup of tea and some chicken soup, but my employer paid a large amount of money for me to be there. -Holy hell I miss Campbell's or Progresso Chicken Soup - As Mira has noted in humor, the common cold, broken bones, the plague - all are cured by Chicken Soup from an American point of view. DAMN RIGHT! - Chicken Noodle, Chicken and Stars, Chicken and Rice...yum. A bit overly salty, but very yummy for those people (like myself) who have extreem difficulty tasting ANYTHING because of completely blocked sinuses. Not only was I at this course, but I had to return to my office each night to do work because one of the projects I am on is at a critical milestone today. Not a fun week. I think it is sweats, tea and a dvd with a nice beef stew for dinner. - and before you even ask I make my OWN from scratch...I might have time constraints so I am not so sure on the stew at this point..watery beef stew is icky..and a good one takes hours of stewing.

Onto the BASTARD part. One word: VETO. Frickin Arnold "Itty Bitty Balls" Schwarzenegger is going to veto the law that the California Legislature just passed which would make marriage between "2 persons". I can't stand this crap. If the conservative right wing blinder wearin mo-fo's don't want gays to "marry" then don't use the frickin word! Let's face it..marriage is not a secular word..never has been. Call it "Flying Purple Elephants" for all I care! Every time the word marriage is used, the religious nutters pull a huge hissy fit. The US is supposed to be all about equality and abhorring discrimination. Oh wait..right..that is only if you are white and straight. Sorry my bad.

Bastard part 2... I arrived home at 8 last night from work to find a letter in my mail. It was from the Helsingin Kaupunki Terveyskeskus (Helsinkiy City Health Center). Now, I speak Finnish and I read Finnish and I can even write in Finnish (albeit slowly with spelling mistakes as I pointed out earlier..spell check and re-reading 3 times before hitting send or snail mailing is important still) so I was not overly put off by the letter being in Finnish. As stated earlier, I have Lesbian Cooties (thanks Dr. Kristin for giving it a name!). The whole reaaaaaaaaaaaaaly high white blood cell count thing (seriously outside the "standard deviation"..whatever that means). Anywhoo..Dr and I have been trying to figure out what the hell it is. Without going into the loooooooong version here is the deal: She is at a loss. She referred my case to the University Hospital - because I have to see a hemotologist, an internal medicine specialist and if necessary an endocrinologist. - Back to the Letter - The letter is NOT from the University hospital but the city. They have reserved 3 appointments for me:

1.) go get stuck with needles again - thankfully not Vampyrella this time..although I must wait and see if THIS person is a far-sighted vampyre too -
2.) Ultrasound on my tummy - goopy stuff and a black and white image..although why my tummy I have no idea...
3.) Actual consultation with the Dr.(s) who will be trying to determine what kind of Lesbian Cooties I actually have...

Now..I have been going through this since the beginning of July. I am really sick of being prodded and havin people in white lab coats go "hmmm...mmmm..hmmm" and then not being able to tell me what is wrong. These 3 appointments are for fricking OCTOBER! The blood stuff - October 6th. The Dr consult October fricking 24th..and the UltraSound 17th of October. BASTARDS!!!! I am in Italy from 15-22 Oct!!! Now I have to 1.) call my Dr and find out of the Helsinki City Health Center is the place she had my stuff sent to and NOT the University like she said. and 2.) Reschedule the ultrasound for a date before I go to Italy - which I am not sure will be possible..which will then move my actual Dr. consultation even further... Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick.. I mean seriously..it will be 4 months of this crap by the time I see the Hemotologist/Internal Medicine Specialist/Endocrinologist..

Radio:
My workmate/friend/political debate punching bag Phil has a "radio show" here in Finland. Okay not a radio show but a podcast from Radio Free Finland. He has approached me about being a guest on his show. An hour long discussion about lesbians in Finland(from a foreigner's point of view). There are several issues I can see popping up with this. Among them are that he and I are hot heads when it comes to politics. He is a Libertarian...nuff said. I am a die-hard bleeding heart liberal (those Log Cabin Republicans are just big fat liars..to themselves and the gay community)... We have some seriously good old fashioned shirt sleeves rolled up debates (arguments) about politics. - not so sure if it won't spiral down to me giving him a verbal spanking on US Law and the Constitution for an hour regarding gay rights, gun laws and the war on drugs..not to mention education, social programs, the welfare system, social security and health care... Should be interesting... or a complete blood bath...

Horrors..and a bright note

Okay. The news (american) has been saturated with coverage of the disaster in the Gulf Coast of the US. I have avoided posting on it and tried to keep my shock and horror to myself about the behaviour of some of the citizenry and the government of the US in respect to this disaster. I have failed. I was a victim of my political outrage at a fellow foreigner here in Finland. Phil got my goat and got it good.

So I am going on record: The Federal, State and Local governments as well as the emergency relief organizations and agencies failed the people of New Orleans. The behavior of roving armed gangs is abhorent and no amount of "gun control laws" - as Phil likes to think is responsible for this - would have stopped this. People broke into stores and stole the guns. Simple as that. The relief organization, strategy and execution has failed. Mr.director of FEMA has not done his job. People are dead and more continue to die. It is devestating and horrible. Shame on the government, shame on FEMA.

There I said it.


On a bright note, I saw the Northern Lights for the first time this weekend while away at cottage. It was breathtaking. I have also developed a horrible chest cold...

ahhhhhhhhhh

It says NY is 3.5 back :)


I am off to cottage again this weekend for the "crab" party. They aren't really crabs, and they aren't really crayfish...they look like miniture Lobsters... Anyway...lots of them and drinking..and reading a good book along with going to Sauna :)

Moo..

There is an old saying the French use to describe most non-french speaking their language "Vous parlez le français comme une vache espagnole" which means: "You speak French like a Spanish Cow". I have heard this once or 400 times in my life. I speak French well enough to offend an entire country. And when it comes to the French, merely being NOT French offends them. Of course I am half French (thanks Dad) so I am only 1/2 as despised. That is until they find out exactly how poorly I speak French (again Thanks Dad) and then it is even worse. Having a French papa should mean that I speak French well. Right? Wrong.

Anywho..there is a point to this. I was writing an email in Finnish this morning requesting information about something. The sentence I was writing referenced "in the mornings". Example "I like to exercise in the morning". Finnish makes you pluralize it (don't even get me started on the difference between partative, plural and plural partative..it will give you a headache) so it comes out "in the mornings" meaning every morning or some mornings.

Simple examples are the best I can give you. If you want something happens 1 time (today or tomorrow) there is a specific way to write it by conjugating the word. The same goes for something that happens many times or during specific time frames (like weekends or in the mornings). There are many many rules in Finnish, and to give you all the permiations of this would hurt MY brain and ruin the fun.

So this is what happened:

I wanted to ask "Does it fit if we could come in the mornings?"

I wrote: Sopiiko jos voisimme tulla ammuisin?

Spelling counts folks. By missing one "a" and adding an "m", what I actually wrote was: "Does it fit if we could come I would moo?"

Apparently I speak Finnish like a cow too! Moooooooooooo

for your edification:

aamuisin - in the mornings
ammuisin - I would MOOO

mmmm...The Onion...

Your Horoscope
By Lloyd Schumner Sr.
Retired Machinist and A.A.P.B-Certified Astrologer
August 31, 2005 | Issue 41•35

Aries March 21 - April 19
It's bad enough that you earned the undying enmity of a murderous elephant, but this particular bull is a member of the Azuma ninja herd—unusually cunning, stealthy, and skilled in the use of blowguns and exotic poisons.

Taurus April 20 - May 20
You'll be relieved when you're assigned to be a lighthouse keeper 200 miles above the Arctic Circle, especially when you think of how close you came to being named manager of the Detroit Tigers.

Gemini May 21 - June 21
Hopelessly lost on America's backroads, you will stumble upon an isolated, acid-washed, hair-metal-loving small town that doesn't realize the Cold War is over.

Cancer June 22 - July 22
You're suddenly a very hot commodity when Sony announces that the next generation of recordable digital media will be synthesized from your heart's blood.

Leo July 23 - August 22
You've always thought that breast implants were kind of sad, but you'll wind up with nine of them anyway.

Virgo August 23 - September 22
It's important to keep yourself looking and feeling good, but your relentless reapplication of home permanents is beginning to seem disturbing.

Libra September 23 - October 23
It's not that people mind it when you rappel in through skylights, but it does clash strangely with your love of making an entrance by popping out of cakes.

Scorpio October 24 - November 21
Your graffiti tags are as distinctive as they are funky, which is why you shouldn't even bother lying to the people of Jerusalem about what you did to the Wailing Wall.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
It doesn't matter if you've done nothing wrong and been charged with no crime. CNN's Nancy Grace is certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that you're guilty and should be "put down like a dog."

Capricorn December 22 - January 19
You'll become a living symbol of what's wrong with paddling in public schools after you repeatedly break into Birmingham, AL's Jordan High and demand to be spanked.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18
There's been a lot of trouble and turmoil on Wall Street lately, which is probably why they keep asking you if they can stay on your couch for October.

Pisces February 19 - March 20
The stars foresee a vast change in your future. Soon, the world shall grow cold, the nights will wax longer, and the world shall become covered with ice for many months.

IT HURTS!!

Okay..I forgot to include our lovely experience shoe shopping...this picture does not do the individual justice.. I tried to do the super secret sleuthy type shot of the front..but this is the best I could do. You are seriously missing the painted on pink eyebrows and rolls of tummy...not to mention the blood red fingernails of giganitc proportions complete with glued on fake diamondy stuff..

WARNING: May cause spontaneous bleeding from the eyes:

Big Thumbs

Right..so I get to work yesterday and feel like a 100 lb truck is sitting on me. I was totally wiped out from the weekend. The liver is starting to wake up again, and cursing green stuff as the spawn of satan (if I beleived in him). I look at my watch trying to figure out what time it is in the UK having said so-long to K and D several hours before at an indecent time in the morning. Not that I was indecent...okay I am an indecent human being..but I was appropriately clothed at that moment and the little saucy swear like a sailor side of my brain was still asleep even though I was upright. And don't even start on the "duh subtract 2 you idiot!"... I am not good with math. Math is evil. Math is an abomination :) I can barely add, so subtraction is asking a great deal from me.

Right, where was I... Oh watch..math..K and D...right.. So I look and my watch says 11:40. Which in my brain (remember no math) is thinking ..okay they should be back in the UK by now. I get my handy-dandy trusty-leave-it-in-a-bar mobile phone and proceed to text K thanking them for the lovely visit. Do I get a response? NO! I have to go to the web and figure out if their flight has landed in London. THEN I look at my blog this morning and I see K has commented on my weekend diatribe. Of course her comment gave me the warm and fuzzies and momentarily forget she didn't text me back. NOW as I am writing this I remember something. K is INCAPABLE of texting 2 words in under 3 minutes. Seriously..that woman is the WORST texter I have seen in a long time. On top of the fact that she doesn't own a Nokia phone, she can't even use predictive text.

One word says it all: SHUTHOG Disclaimer: K I adore you and you know it honey. One day she is on a terrace having a glass of wine enjoying the sun. As I have always called or texted her when I am feeling very relaxed on a terrace in the sun consuming alcohol, thoughts of me and the little Finn pop into her head. So being the great sister/friend that she is, she decides to text me. Predictive text on her phone made Sitting into Shuthog?!?!?! I thought it was her big thumbs because the key sequence for sitting with predictive text on (english) is: 7488464 ...but then I checked the sequence for Shuthog and it is the same... and it isn't even a word!!

Maybe I should be glad she didn't try to text after the plane?

bashed, befuddled, boozed up,

Holy hell my liver is crocked! Thank goodness I don't have to have any frickin blood tests for a while. I have learned something new though. Green stuff is bad. Very very bad. Okay not all green stuff..lettuce is okay, green beans, broccoli, asparagus... Liquid green stuff is deadly however.

K and D arrived on Friday evening after the thunderstorms from hell cleared out complete with a thank you gift of Kraft Mac N Cheese!!! Earlier the rain was coming down in sheets to the point where it was like white out conditions. I seriously think D is a rain magnet. After Cal-ass and Brugggearafdfvaergaerg (whatever the hell that city in Belgium is called) he brought it to Finland. At any rate,we all decided to go have a few cocktails. It is only fitting after they flew from the UK...libations would be required! We walked to Hotel Torni and went upstairs to the tower bar. That is when the boy saw the bottle, the bottle that will be the bane of my existance from now on. Folks, Absinthe is deadly stuff. Flaming green absinthe shots that D said would taste like a Good 'N Plenty but burn a "bit". A bit?!?! Okay he didn't say a "bit"..but I wasn't expecting the firey decent of this stuff (even without the flames) down my esophagus and searing every centimeter of my intestines as it worked is way thru my tummy. 15 minutes later I was right and truly drunk. Fastest drunk I ever got. But we continued on bravely consuming more alcohol for a few hours and discussing Kevin Bacon. Hey..I did say we drank absinthe..what were you expecting a dissertation on EU polotics while weighing the positives and negatives of a socialistic society as it relates to Finland?? As it was only, at that point, 2 AM and the bar staff really wanted to go home, we moved onto another bar called Bakers where we proceeded to continue drinking copious amounts of alcohol and discuss all manner of things which slip my mind right now. It was also a night for the traditional drunken Fusche phone call to my Sug in San Diego :) She puts up with so many drunk calls from me :) We finally dragged our behinds back to the flat at 4:30 :) Just in time to make little munchy tummies happy with ham, cherry tomato goodness, cheese, crackers etc.

Saturday Morning was not a good morning. Okay it was 12 minutes before noon, so it still counts as morning. Everyone was hung over, the firey ball in the sky (which Beth has termed the Day Star) hurt our eyes and we needed new shoes. The weather was okay..but D was in the house recovering from a combination of his cold and the green icky death stuff he made us drink, therefore the rain held off until, funny enough, he started feeling better. We proceeded to go to Saga and D experienced bear and smokey tennis court (Finnish tar shnapps). The weather was just starting to spit a bit of rain when we went into the restaurant. However, when we were eating it proceded to come down sideways and hard. Again..D is a rain magnet. The wine there proved to be total shite. I mean really..who knew a Cote du Rhone could taste like water. We actually sent the bottle back! That thing was horrible. Even though we all vowed we were "not gonna drink and f&%¤ing Merlot!!"... we did. It was the only semi full bodied wine in there that we were pretty certain wouldn't suck eggs. When we left the restaurant we headed to Storyville to listen to a swing band. Just as a note for anyone going there..go early and get a table. That place packs up right and quick..not to mention annoying people not knowing the meaning of personal space and practically sitting in D's lap or humping his leg because they have no concept of HOW to dance let alone what a beat is. The band was called Fat Sam's. Really quite a good band. They had the place jumpin... A nice selection of good swing music and some really nice guys in the band. American Swing in a Finnish bar played by a Scottish band?!!? Yep and it was good.

It finally proved to be waaaaaaaaaay to crowded and annoying to us so we went upstairs to the piano bar (with no piano player), had another drink and then headed back to the house. 3/4 of the way there I realized I forgot my bag at the bar with my cell in it. I hauled butt back there and got it. Run run run, wheeze wheeze wheeze..I make it back to the gang. Tummies decide they are hungry..so K, D and I go to the little all night grill joint around the corner from my flat to get a burger. BIG mistake. The nastiest, sloppiest, goopiest, icky combination of crap you could ever imagine was loaded into this "burger". It was practically soup with a bit of meat! Needless to say..our tummies were not as pleased with this!

Sunday...rain, rain and more rain. We opted to cook breakfast (brunch folks as it was 1:30 in the afternoon) and watch a DVD while Noah built the ark and we all got loaded 2 by 2 into it. Not kidding..I was going to grow webbed feet! DVD was DOGMA...Kevin Smith rocks. We have all seen it before, but let's face it..that is one great flick.

Sunday night - Ravintola Garlic :) Yum Yum Yum. We ended up consumig 2 bottles of wine at dinner - oh and I forgot to mention the 2 we had at the house before we left. The pattern here is becoming clear to me... After dinner we walked to Ahven (a bar close by) and had an after dinner drink - which I proceded to dump some of it onto myself with no idea how I did it. Walked home and put our little bums to bed as K and D had a flight at half past OH MY GOD in the morning back to the UK.

...my liver hurts.... 6 weeks from now..Italy!!!! I think my liver will have recovered by then...

Oh the SHAME!!!

Okay. Yesterday I left the office early to go on a drinking fest with my department. Don't you just love a country that encourages you to "bond" with your workmates by copious amounts of alcohol?!! There wasn't even a need to claim "tummy flu" or "migrane"! The afternoon (which I count as anything after 12pm and before 12AM in this instance) of libation indulgence was sanctioned and also paid for entirely by my company! Finland - the land of opportunity and "networking" thru slurred speach and really hot rooms where you sweat your pahtooty off while somone pours a ladle full of water on rocks which are so hot they could sear the skin off your bones... makes sense to the Finns and who am I to rock the boat when there is free booze and food!

This "team building" event was out in a place called Marskin Maja. I could give you the whole history lesson on who Mannherheim was but that would bore you and you would be drooling and snoring before you finished reading any of it so I won't. It was a lovely location in the middle of nowhere about 1 1/2 hours from Helsinki. Very nice place with saunas and a beautiful lake and 70 of my co-workers.

They had all these activites planned. The invitation stated: "Remember the proper equipment: shoes, clothes ". I was a bit concerned at this reminder. Does this mean that people are going to show naked? Shoes and clothes...what if I was a nudist? But I digress...no shock there.. Right activities.. Okay so there were 5 different things which everyone was "encouraged" (Read: required) to do. One event was a 3 part brain challenge thing which involved crossing an imaginary swamp with 4 pieces of long wood and 5 small wooden blocks with all 5 of your team members standing on the wood at the same time and having to pass forward the last "log" to the front and inch forward a board at a time to the other side while balancing on your makeshift balance beam. Part 2 was a bottle which had 8 strings attached to it -4 at the neck and 4 at the bottom - threaded through this wooden box frame at each corner (2 in each corner for the mathmatically impaired). There were 2 mugs in opposite corners of the box frame. The object: once you lift the bottle from the ground it can not touch again and you must fill BOTH mugs to the top in under 8 minutes. Part 3 was moving a stack of tires (arranged in pyramid form with the biggest on the bottom) from around 1 pole to a second pole. There is a 3rd pole which can help you move them since no 2 tires can be "in motion at the same time" and no larger tire can be on top of a smaller tire...get the idea?..it is much easier to show you how to do it..but this being the web and all..use your imagination.

I actually enjoyed those 3 activities. There was also moutain biking, learning how to use a kick bike - in essence a scooter for adults without the motor -, canoeing and then the last "activity". At this point in the afternoon I am wondering: 1.) where is the booze damn it! 2.) I didn't sign up for things that make me sweat. 3.) Where is the booze?!

"To the SHAME James and step on it!"... I actually had to do something I swore I would never do. Nordic Walking. HOLY HELL is that stuff embarassing. You are probably thinking to your self "nordic walking?..do Scandinavians walk in some odd way that other humans don't?"... Folks..they do it with ski poles! I am not joking. It is entirely shameful and embarassing. Not only because you look like a right twit and only OLD people do it, but because if you have the co-ordination of a cow like I do..you can't even do it PROPERLY!!! OH the opprobrium!!! <-word of the day

Thank goodness for the copious amounts of alcohol after that. Little did I know I had to debase myself before I could drink. Now I have to nurse my hangover. Bright spot: K and D arrive in 11 hours for a weekend sans goose liposcution and free of shitty Californian wine. :)

um..er...yeah

Right..so I have decided to pick a new word every day to use in my blog. Don't even start on my inability to post every day. It just means that on those days I don't post I must add additional words to make up for the lack of posting. Sort of like a complex quantum calculus equation where the coeficient of my stupidity is compounded by the lack of imagination and subsequently divided by the number of pages in a really cool thesaurus (bet you thought I didn't know what one was!) which is directly related to the quantity of wine and/or beer consumed the night before divided by the hours slept and factored to the 10th power. For all you math geeks out there, it is pretty obvious I know NOTHING about calculus. I only took enough math in school to graduate and promptly forgot almost all of it the minute I finished the test. Seriously..I can't even add properly..I require a computer or a calculator to do it all for me and with the use of webbank here in Finland I never even have to balance my cheque (note the Eurotrash spelling) book because they don't use cheques in Finland at all. They look at you like you are a freak if you ask...

Right where was I..oh..words and my use of them..So, in other words, if I am an exceptionally lazy cow (let's face it..I am always a lazy cow) I have to use more neat-o keen words. Not that it is usally a problem. Hell I can never tell a story in under 20 minutes without several tangents leading off to more tangents and then I have to "bring it home" as Michael tells me. I suppose that means my goddess title is appropriate. Although I have always kind of been a bit chagrined by that moniker...I never thought of myself as a wordy bitch (that is K's job with her blog entries..although I could run a close second)..but I guess I can be that way. I also can not speak without using wild (neat-o but not so keen word alert)gesticulations, subsequently knocking over drinks within a 3 foot radius of my windmilling and decidedly clumsy appendages which are not to be confused with the noodly appendages of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM). Seriously clumsy here folks. Wait..was that a tangent?

:)

Score 1 for the kids AND parents!

So I was reading the news today. The California Supreme Court was weighing a case I had been following and finally rendered it's decision. The decision involves kids and parents. It centered on mainly the right of a child to be supported by both parents financially in the event of a split, and more importantly what defines "parent".

In this case, the parents happen to be lesbians. The ruling came packaged around 3 cases. One where a couple separated after having a child. One where one partner donated an ova to the other and they agree to raise them jointly (meaning is the surrogate mother in this case actually a parent?), and one where one woman in the particular relationship cannot invalidate a declaration of parental rights made with her partner after splitting up.

The court ruled in case 1 that when one partner actively assisted in the other becoming pregnant with the understanding that they would raise the children together must provide financial support and ordered her to pay child support after the couple separated. The court held that a biological link is not needed to settle parenthood if a child is conceived by artificial insemination.

In case 2, it was deemed that BOTH women are a parent to the child born of the donated ova. The court ruled that: In such cases, parental rights and responsibilities cannot be waived.

In case 3, the court ruled a woman may not invalidate a declaration of parental rights made with her partner. That would be unfair to their child and ''contravene public policy favoring that a child has two parents rather than one,"

ROCK THE FRICK ON! In an era where gays and lesbians are fighting so hard for equal standing under the law, these rulings are a step in the right direction. Not just in protection of the child and it's welfare, but also in holding people accountable for the decisions and commitments they made in the conception of this new life.

What pisses me off (come on you knew it was coming) is if you are part of the "minority" community and you are fighting for equal standing under the law regarding anti-discrimination on basis of sexual orientation and the right to marry, how can you then say to your now ex-spouse - let's face it a majority of lesbians and gays in a committed long term relationship will tell you that if they had the right to marry they would - "that child is not biologically mine so adios!". How much of a hypocrite can you be?!?!?

Before you get up on your high horse talking about straight couples and father's not being responsible for supporting a child that isn't biologically their's, think about it first. We are talking about lesbians and gays. Right now there is not a biological way for two women, or 2 men for that matter, to have a child which is each genetically half of each of them. Trust me if they could do that, the ones that want kids would be first in line. And I can say with some level of certainty that these couples would be there too.

If you talk the talk, walk the walk. Take care of your child! And be a parent for chrissake!

The rulings not only holds people accountable for their decisions but also legally validates all those gay and lesbian couples who have known for so long the reality that: gender is not a barrier to being a parent in a relationship. Children benefit from 2 parents. I am not saying that single parents aren't fit or the child is bereft of a decent childhood, so don't even go there. I am simply saying that now a step forward has been made in recoginizing that a family doesn't have to be Mommy and Daddy. It can be Mommy and Mommy or Daddy and Daddy too.

Um..just..wow...

TRIE-SUR-BAISE, France - Yohann and Olivier Roussel's performance climaxed in a cacophony of oinks and grunts, unleashing an explosion of applause.

But it was only after lengthy jury deliberations that their hopes were confirmed — the father-and-son team were France's official Pig-Squealing Champions for 2005.

The judges, headed by a former champion, had been impressed by their vocal imitations of pigs in all four of the required categories, reflecting key milestones of porcine existence: from noisy farmyard birth to death under the knife, via suckling and — inevitably — mating.



Um..and people say the wife carrying competition in Finland is odd?!?!?!


Contender Jacques Barrot performs in the French Pig-Squealing Championships in Trie-sur-Baise's annual festival. Contestants suckle, oink, and even imitate mating.

Timewarp

I know I already posted about being out of the music closet. You know..being a fan of 80's music counts too. The decade of Reagan, The Cosby kids and Flock of Seagulls you ask? Why yes. It doesn't help that I spent my highschool years in the 80's. Everyone dressedwith pegged pants (those from MA will get it), Guess jeans,Champion Sweatshirts, Polo or Drakar for the boys - who incidentally wore so much they could sterilize a frog at 400 yards - and high hair (on both the girls AND some of the boys) that would make a Jersey girl or a chick from Revere proud.

This, however, is not about music but about movies! A Finnish friend of mine and I were discussing "Old" movies on IM the other day. She was home sick (she is feeling better now) and said she spent the day with the shades drawn watching old movies. I was all like "aces!!". Turns out it wasn't that she was watching those really elegant black and white movies where all the women wear sleek silk dressing gowns and those slip on slippers with fluffy stuff on them while smoking a filterless cigarette from a cigarett holder and drinking a martini. Their diamond earings, necklace and in some cases tiara, glinting beautifully during the cocktail hour while their gentleman caller is standing there in a tuxedo with a nice congac in his hand saying things like "Really darling we just must attend the party. It is the social event of the year" or some such suave sentiment. She was watching "old" movies from the 80's. How does a movie from the 80's count as "old". If a movie from the 80's counts as old, does that mean that I am? For me, an old movie means black and white (I don't go for colorized versions..icky) with good lighting and actressess like Ingrid Bergman, Lauren Bacall, Marlene Dietrich and leading men like Humphry Bogart, Jimmy Cagney, Peter Lawford etc. Movies like: the ORIGINAL "Oceans 11", "To Have and Have Not", "The Big Sleep", "For Whom the Bell Tolls", "From Here to Eternity", "Angels With Dirty Faces".....

In all fairness, I am a fan of 80's movies. I mean really! Who of similar age to myself doesn't have some comming of age memory from films like "The Breakfast Club", "Say Anything", "Sixteen Candles", "St. Elmo's Fire", "Pretty in Pink", "About Last Night", "The Outsiders"..and many many more. Wow, looking at that list it is all Brat Pack movies. So I am wondering now..can 80's movies be classified as "old"? If they do then maybe I should be espousing how "kids today don't know how good they have it," or yell at them to "get off my lawn!!"..or "turn down that racket! You call THAT music!?!?"...or "pull up your trousers and wear some that FIT young man!!!" I feel like I have been shoved into a timewarp and am suddenly older than I realize!

I think I am going to have a nice relaxing cup of coffee and listen to my 80's channel on accu radio. Something very soothing about Bow Bow Bow, Blondie, Peter Gabriel can calm you down. Come on everyone..Shock The Monkey!!!!!

Fire Breathing Light Switches and a Yankee Swap

Right...so we booked our plane tickets to go to the States for Christmas. After spending the last 2 Christmas' in Finland my folks pleaded with us to come to the States. So we said yes. I also wanted to go as I missed our family Christmas celebrations a great deal. Let's just say that Christmas dinner at my family's house consists of 35 people..ALL IMMEDIATE FAMILY. Mira is an only child. Not a bad thing at all, but she has yet to experience the full on Roche-Gaudreau family christmas/drinking/yankee-swap fest that is our holiday cheer. Tons of food, presents, egg-nog (spiked and whimpy for the underaged ones..although I think they sneak a few from the "grown-up" batch occasionaly - not that I would know ANYTHING about doing that..ahem..) and the ever present Yankee-Swap. A hillarious swapping of presents which I will describe: Each person involved buys a present and wraps it. They then put it under the tree without anyone looking. Say, for example there are 15 people - The numbers 1 thru 15 are written on a piece of paper, folded up and then put in a hat. Each person then picks a number from the hat. The person with the number 1 starts the whole process. The only rule is that you can not pick your own wrapped present from under the tree..although you may get stuck with it later..

...so person Number 1 picks and opens the present. Everyone "ooh"s and "ahh"s or cracks jokes at the gift. Then person number 2 picks and unwraps - repeat of the "ooh"s and "ahh"s ..however, Person number 2 then can look at the present that person number 1 got and decide they like that one better and swap the presents. Person number 1 can not refuse to swap. This continues up to number 15. Each person can pick from the previously opened presents. Wait! I know what you are going to say: But person number 1 gets totally screwed! Not so my friends. At the end, Person number 1 gets to swap their present (which may have changed 15 times in the course of the game) for ANY present in the bunch! Lemme tell you it can get quite stomache splitting funny! - This will be a first time for the little Finn :)

Now to the fire breathing light switches. I promise never to make fun of my step-mom's paranoia with thunderstorms ever again. She is petrified of them to the point where she will hide in the basement family room if one is going on with all the lights out and a candle while chain smoking until it has passed. I always thought her rather daft. Well..their house got hit and fire shot out of a wall switch. Dad was Mr. Speedy with the fire extinguisher and luckily everything was okay. The Electrician had to come and replace the switch and a socket. The cable box got blown apart with melted wires and everything. Luckily they are both fine (including the pup) and there was no serious damage to the house. BUT HOLY HELL BATMAN!!!

Lazy Cow

Okay so I haven't posted in a while. I could sit here and say that work has been nuts (it hasn't), aliens abducted me (they didn't..although some will disagree with me on that one), my computer died (thankfully not), I joined a commune which is anti-technology and spends it's time frolicking in the woods based on various phases of the moon or mushroom growth cycles (not bloody likely thank you very much) - but I won't. I am just a lazy cow. There.

Spent the last weekend at 2 house-warming parties. I am proud to say they have been appropriately warmed. Toasty even. My liver is trying to recover and my bank account is noticing how expensive taxis are from Espoo to Helsinki (35 bleeding euros each way!) Of course, philosophical discussions abounded and I was pleased to be informed by Hank that there is indeed a term for the straight guys that hang around lesbians. Women who hang around gay men are affectionately called "fag hags". During a rather inebriated discussion on the virtues of that moniker Hank asked what guys who hang out with lesbians are called. I must admit, I was at a loss. I was going to say..um..Michael? Let's face it, Michael has a disproportionately high number of lesbian friends, but is gay so he doesn't count...or Duane? ..he does too, but is straight. His wife gets 10 free gay days a year..unfortunately for the lesbian community she is only allowed to be a gay man... Of course Duane is really a lesbian in a man's body at any rate. So I arrive at work on Monday and check my home email from work because I was such a slug on the sofa on Sunday I didn't even turn on my computer at home. Sitting all sparkly in my inbox was an email from Hank. The man is the KING of Google. If you need to know what something is, where it is, how to find it, if it is deadly, and also random Finnish bureaucratic crap, Hank can find it for you.

Ladies and gentlemen:
dyke tyke: a male with extensive platonic friendships with lesbians

I know you were all chomping at the bit to know.

Cottage

Right..spent the weekend relaxing at a friend's mökki and had a blast. Mökki is the Finnish word for a cottage. Totally beautiful. Lots of sauna, food, sausage, sunshine, card playing, wine, beer, sangria...mmmm..sangria... Left the cottage to head back to Helsinki and heard on the radio about the horrible storms in the city. Seriously, flooded streets, downed trees (one landed on an old lady and she had to go to the hospital). The World Championships Track and Field are in Helsinki this year and the poor sods ran in downpours that would make Noah concerned!

So we get back to the city and happily 2 of my 4 ordred DVDs had arrived. We spent the rest of the evening on the sofa with a nice bottle of Portuguese red wine watching "The Celluloid Closet" - a film version of Vito Russo's landmark book which explodes sexual myths and explores how our attitudes (mainly American) about homosexuality and sex roles have evolved through the 20th century in film. Truly an interesting documentary. I went on a kick ordering documentaries...I have 3 more :) Yay good movie nights!

Got back to work today and found that Peter Jennings had passed away over the weekend. He lost his battle with lung cancer. AND then Dana Reeve (Christopher's wife) revealed SHE has lung cancer now! Today a helicopter crashed off the coast of Estonia en route to Helsinki carrying 6 Finns, 4 Estonians,2 US citizens and a crew of 2. They haven't found the bodies or survivors. What a crappy day!!!

To make it a happier thing I am putting up some pics of the view from the cottage :)

This is from the road looking up to the cottage:


This is the front of the cottage which faces the lake:


This is the view from the porch (front) at sunset:

Vampyrella

Okay. So I recently had a health exam. Make sure all the bits and pieces are where they should be and doing their job. So the 1st visit the nurseish person (not really a nurse as such but a "health professional") says I have to do the obligatory peeing in a cup and she needs to take some blood. Okay no problem. I am used to this stuff... So Vampyrella has to stick me 3 times to get any blood from me. This was a first time experience for me. I am not afraid of needles. Being a diabetic I had to have my blood checked at the Jocelyn in Boston frequently. There was never a problem with drawing my blood.

Fast forward to a week later - follow up with an actual Dr to go over my results. Dr. tells me I need more tests (somethin funny in my blood. Instant panic on my part. Partially because I have always been relatively healthy and sickness frightens me (wimp I know) and partially because that means that Vampyrella gets another go at my arms... After the Dr. confirmed it isn't HIV or Hep but I do have "something", she says I need a full CBC and another ESR test - my white cells were 50% higher than necessary in Dec so time to check everything really closely - She sends me right off to the Princess of Darkness for another go at my arms. After the fracking 6th time of her blowing thru a vein, I finally said "Maybe I should come back." (hoping beyond hope she will have a day off and I won't have her mutilating my arms anymore). Let's face it folks, needles aren't fun and having someone dig around in your arm to find a vein doesn't tickle. My arms look like I got in a fight with a far-sighted vampyre who couldn't find my neck!

Back I go this morning to have her poke me again. Left arm - blow out another vein. Right arm - it is like an instant replay.. So what did she finally have to do? The top of my Left Hand. Getting stuck by needles in your hand really frackin hurts!! I can take the arms - uncomfortable but totally handlable...top of my hand?!?!? BURNS LIKE A MO-FO!

So now I have more bruises and have to wait till Wednesday to find out the results..

And a partridge in a pear tree...

Did you know that a city councilman from Kenya offered 40 goats and 20 cows for Bill Clinton's daughter Chelsea's hand in marriage? I kid you not (no pun intended).

Dude. I realize it is a "traditional" kinda dowry thing, African tradition and all, but sheeesh buddy..couldn't you sweeten the deal a bit?!?

I would have demanded at least 45 goats and the family pot bellied pig or somethin! If I was Bill.

Trailer Trash..only 1.4 million

The term "trailer trash" has long been used to describe the less affluent members of society who reside in a home with wheels. Sometimes there are no wheels. Sometimes there are derilict cars in the "yard", rusted out old refrigerators etc. The TV show Cops (my idea of social porn..in addition to the show "Cheaters") often shows the seedy underbelly of society as living in poverty conditions in trailers and wearing wife-beaters with a cold Bud in their hand.

I know that there are trailers out there in retirement communities - in Florida for example - which are quite lovely and affordable to the retiree.

The story I read on USA Today takes the cake though:

By Matt Krantz, USA TODAY
MALIBU, Calif. — The crazy California real estate market has come to this: a million-dollar trailer.

A two-bedroom, two-bathroom mobile home perched on a lot in Malibu is selling for $1.4 million. This isn't a greedy seller asking a ridiculous amount no one will pay.

Two others sold in the area recently for $1.3 million and $1.1 million. Another, at $1.8 million, is in escrow. Nearby, another lists for $2.7 million.

"Those are the hottest (prices) I've ever heard," says Bruce Savage, spokesman for the Manufactured Housing Institute. He says prices in another hot spot, Key West, Fla., top $500,000. As if the price isn't tough enough to swallow, trailer buyers:

•Don't own the land. As with most mobile homes sold in Malibu, the land is owned by the proprietor of the trailer park, in this case, Point Dume Club.

•Still pay rent. Not owning the land means paying what's called "space rent" that is as high as or higher than many mortgages in other parts of the USA. On the $1.4 million trailer, space rent is $2,700 a month.

•Can't get mortgages. Since the buyers don't own the land, most of the mobile homes are paid for in cash or with a personal property loan that usually amounts to $100,000 or less, says Clay Dickens, mortgage loan agent at Community West Bank.

Why would anyone pay seven figures for a trailer? It gets you more than the typical mobile home. The $1.4 million trailer is in a gated, guarded community with a shared tennis court and panoramic views of the Pacific Ocean. It also is on a larger-than-usual "triple-wide" lot.

Buyers are willing to pay such prices just to get into Malibu, where the average list price is $4.4 million, says Coldwell Banker broker Rick Wallace.

But, it's still a trailer with a modest kitchen and faux wood floors. Many still have trailer hitches attached.

Sellers couldn't be happier. Charley Chartoff, a 29-year-old Coldwell Banker Realtor, is selling the $1.4 million trailer after living there about three years. Chartoff won't say how much he paid, but neighbors say prices have climbed about threefold in that time.

Developers are partially driving the rise. Janet Levine at Maliblue Holdings has bought several old homes and is installing high-end "mobile villas" to put up for sale. Levine and others bristle at the term "trailer." To be permitted in the park, the home must be perched on piers (a high-end version of up on blocks).

Some neighbors, though, can only marvel at the prices. Longtime resident Jim Schwartz, 92, says he got an $800,000 offer for his trailer home, which is not for sale. He declined. But, "You come to me with $1 million, and we'll talk about it," he says.