Monday, August 01, 2005

Vampyrella

Okay. So I recently had a health exam. Make sure all the bits and pieces are where they should be and doing their job. So the 1st visit the nurseish person (not really a nurse as such but a "health professional") says I have to do the obligatory peeing in a cup and she needs to take some blood. Okay no problem. I am used to this stuff... So Vampyrella has to stick me 3 times to get any blood from me. This was a first time experience for me. I am not afraid of needles. Being a diabetic I had to have my blood checked at the Jocelyn in Boston frequently. There was never a problem with drawing my blood.

Fast forward to a week later - follow up with an actual Dr to go over my results. Dr. tells me I need more tests (somethin funny in my blood. Instant panic on my part. Partially because I have always been relatively healthy and sickness frightens me (wimp I know) and partially because that means that Vampyrella gets another go at my arms... After the Dr. confirmed it isn't HIV or Hep but I do have "something", she says I need a full CBC and another ESR test - my white cells were 50% higher than necessary in Dec so time to check everything really closely - She sends me right off to the Princess of Darkness for another go at my arms. After the fracking 6th time of her blowing thru a vein, I finally said "Maybe I should come back." (hoping beyond hope she will have a day off and I won't have her mutilating my arms anymore). Let's face it folks, needles aren't fun and having someone dig around in your arm to find a vein doesn't tickle. My arms look like I got in a fight with a far-sighted vampyre who couldn't find my neck!

Back I go this morning to have her poke me again. Left arm - blow out another vein. Right arm - it is like an instant replay.. So what did she finally have to do? The top of my Left Hand. Getting stuck by needles in your hand really frackin hurts!! I can take the arms - uncomfortable but totally handlable...top of my hand?!?!? BURNS LIKE A MO-FO!

So now I have more bruises and have to wait till Wednesday to find out the results..

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's your own fault for having Lesbian Cooties that your white blood cells have to attack.

And I'm only a bigamist if you actually marry me. Which by the way would make you one too!

Anonymous said...

I vote for Wine therapy.