How many cases?!

Sometimes it is difficult to live in Finland. I try and I try to learn to speak Finnish and when I speak I always make mistakes. Yeah yeah, I know I should be patient (I have only lived in Finland for 3 years) but it is frustrating as hell! My Finnish class started in September (again) and my brain feels like it wants to ooze out my ears. Seriously, stab me in the eye with a rusty dull spoon and gouge it out – it would be less painful! And for those of you Finns who read this, don’t you dare tell me that if the 4 year old of your former-university-roommate’s-brother’s-cousin’s-34 IQ-point-having-moron can speak it quite fluently, it can’t be that hard! It is! And no freakin PhD who wrote an article in the local paper saying that it isn’t that hard will convince me otherwise! “15 declinations of a Finnish noun” isn’t hard? MY ASS it isn’t!!!! “Oh, but our language is logical.” BITE ME! It is NOT. It is NOT logical to remove letters from some words and then ADD ones that never existed to the MIDDLE of the word so that it “sounds” better! Or, if there are an indeterminate number of items in a group you have a whole new case for that frickin word!!!! Jesus my brain hurts! Make the mean language stop Mommy! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t believe I even passed the National Profficiency Exam! Talk about making my head spin and my eyes bleed!

Can anyone tell that I have encountered one of those barriers in my learning where it doesn’t make any sense and I am willing to opt for brain surgery so it will make sense before it drives me any more insane than I already am? I am told the key is to drink heavily and it will eventually sort of “click”.


*Note: The Author, even though she is in need of her medication, actually speaks (according to several credible sources – including her Finnish professor) fairly fluent Finnish with an very acceptable accent. Said author is well aware of the perceived “illogical” structure of the English language. She also has the same reaction some Finnish speaking readers are having presently whenever someone feels the need to remind her if the “illogical” structure of English: “Well, the 4 year old of my former-university-roommate’s-brother’s-cousin’s-34 IQ-point-having-moron can speak it quite fluently.” Which translated means: Shut the fuck up and quit whining you pansy assed moron.

**Another Note: In all seriousness, I really do like the Finnish language. So all of you Finns who were about drag me for a trip behind the wood shed can just calm the heck down over there. If I didn’t like the language, I wouldn’t have spent so much effort learning it for the sole purpose of making less of an ass of myself than I normally do. Well that and I am incredibly juvenile and learning new curse words in several languages can be fun.

Being heard

Some Finns ask me why I am really anxious to obtain my Finnish Citizenship. The answer is simply 4 words: My right to Vote. I am an avid believer in voting. The first major election I voted in was the 1992 election of President William Jefferson Clinton. I voted for him then AND in the next election. I would vote for him again if I could. (damn you FDR!! and the 22nd amendment!)

Often I hear people lamenting about the politicians in power or the state of the laws - both in the US and in Finland. When I ask people why they don't do anything about it a great deal of the time the response is that politicians are always crooked so there is nothing they can do about it.

My answer to that: Ignorant. Some accuse me of being an idealist or unrealistic in these issues. Why? Who says that 1 person can not make a difference in this world. If you don't like the way your government is run, put someone in there who WILL make a difference in your life or who you believe WILL act in the causes that you hold dear. If you don't vote then you don't have a right to complain. If you don't exercise your duty to have your voice heard then you relinquish your right to bitch and moan about the state of the state. Even if your "guy" didn't make it, you at least voted and can now and with full righteous indignation say that in your opinion your guy would have done better. Or if the politician you did vote for is NOT doing his/her job you can vote them out of office by voting for someone else who you think WILL get the job done. Be active in your community and fight for what you believe in.

This is why I can't wait to have my Finnish Citizenship! I still retain my US citizenship, and yes I still vote. Granted I am only able to vote in the Presidential Elections due to my residency in Finland, but hey..at least I get to vote! Unfortunately I discovered yesterday that it will take about 18 months to process my citizenship application..and I can't even submit it until Dec of 2007!...UGH... At least in 2008 I get to vote... And this is what I hope for:

Just amused me

DANGEROUS: Whats for Dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST:Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:Are you wearing that?
SAFER:Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST:WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine

DANGEROUS:What are you so worked up about?
SAFER:Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST:Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:Should you be eating that?
SAFER:You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST:Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:What did you DO all day?
SAFER:I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST:I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some more wine.

13 Things PMS Stands For:
1 Pass My Shotgun
2 Psychotic Mood Shift
3 Perpetual Munching Spree
4 Puffy Mid-Section
5 People Make me Sick
6 Provide Me with Sweets
7 Pardon My Sobbing
8 Pimples May Surface
9 Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuffand

my favorite one
13. Potential Murder Suspect

mmm Bacon

Okay..random thought today. After spending a weekend in London and seeing the great Sir Derek Jacobi on stage, I have been obsessed with actors and actresses this week. Okay I know that truly great females in that profession should be called actors too, so don't get your knickers in a twist. Recently I stumbled across a website that has detailed information about a film which I love. This film is Funny Girl. Reason being - aside from the fact that it is Ms. Streisand, my uncle Lee Allen (dad's brother) was in the broadway production and film with her. On that website I found images of my uncle from scenes that were deleted from the final film. I also found one of the promotional photographs that they took together (I have a copy of that ..yes ..signed) It got me to thinking.. about Kevin Bacon... and how many degrees of Kevin Bacon my uncle is...

Lee Allen was in Funny Girl(1968) with Barbra Streisand.
Barbra Streisand was in Nuts (1987) with Eli Wallach
Eli Wallach was in Mystic River (2003) with Kevin Bacon
Answer: 3
So that makes little old ME only 4 degrees of Kevin Bacon!

Oh..and did I mention my Aunt Olivia (his wife) was on the cover of life in 1948?



Incase you cared - This is Uncle Lee with Babs..




It's the small joys of life :)

Poor Steve and David...oh wait..that is Derek

It’s the little things. The artery clogging little things that make me smile. Just spent a weekend in London with Sug. Arteries are hardened a bit, liver is recovering and my wallet is bare. Note to self: Make sure you have more money than you think you need the next time you go to London. We laughed our arses off. I would have to say that the funniest part of the weekend occurred 15 minutes into our time together. I had arrived at the hotel before Sug (her train was an hour late) and left a note at the check-in desk that I was (surprise surprise) in the bar. I had had just enough time to order a beer, put down my bag and try to get relaxed from my planes, trains and automobiles journey when I heard the unmistakeable sound of an American accent in the corner of the bar. The hotel was a 4 or 5 star hotel that Sug got on the cheap and the hotel bar was one of those giant ceilinged rooms with the mahogany walls and leather sofas. You know, the kind of place that oozes history and posh. The woman in the corner was yelling loudly into her mobile to one of her collegues (Steve) that she didn’t do this and he was responsible for that yadda yadda yadda. I mean LOUD. Loud enough that when Sug arrived and we did the hug hello, I needed to DOWN my beer. Seriously. Sug told me not to worry – having not heard the woman because Steve had obviously gotten a word in edgewise for a minute. Suddenly Beth’s face just froze and her eyes got wide. We started laughing. It only got worse. So, we decided to drop our bags off in the room and head out to have some libations and nosh before Ethel Merman in the corner made our ears bleed. As we were standing and leaving the bar, Beth turns to the woman and says quite directly: “If I were Steve, I would kill myself.” - I almost peed myself laughing. Why is it that the loudest and most discourtious people in bars here in Europe are Americans?!?!?! Those people foster the idea that the rest of us are just like them! This woman was unbelievable!

So we ate at the Tattershall Castle (barge pub and restaurant) on the Enbankment, had big fry-ups for breakfast, visited the British Museum and went to a West End show (Thanks again Sug for buying my ticket). Of course, I kept calling Sir Derek Jacobi by the wrong name (David) and thought Sug was going to have apoplexy thinking I would call him the wrong name – after I made us go to the Stage Door (even though I kept saying it was her idea ;) ) so we could get a photo or an autograph. I promised (and kept that promise) I would not call him David. I called him Sir. He was very sweet to pose for a photo with each of us. The show was quite well written as well! It was fabulous to see such an accomplished artist on stage. We also had awesome Cream Tea in the crypt of St. Martin of the Fields – yum! The weather was entirely tolerable – rain in the day but clear in the late afternoons and evenings. All in all a great weekend.

And people wonder why..

Some people wonder why I say I have no intention of moving back to the States any time soon. I get asked often here if I am living in Finland for the long haul or is it just a short term thing and then back to the land of cheap electronics, lower taxes and higher salaries. I contemplate it sometimes…but then I read things like this:

(courtesy of MSNBC.com and Reuters)
“Accused of killing deputy, suspect shot 68 times
‘We would have shot him more,’ sheriff says of SWAT team’s actions

MIAMI - A fugitive gunman accused of killing a Florida sheriff’s deputy was shot 68 times by SWAT team officers who found him hiding in the woods, according to autopsy results.
Police fired 110 shots at Angilo Freeland, 27, the target of a massive manhunt in central Florida following the shooting death of Polk County Sheriff’s Deputy Matt Williams Thursday.
“That’s all the bullets we had, or we would have shot him more,” Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd told the Orlando Sentinel newspaper….
…. Sheriff’s officials said SWAT team members found Freeland on Friday hiding under a fallen oak tree in a wooded area near where the deputies were shot, and began firing when they saw a gun in his hand.”

110 BULLETS!!! 68 of them found their mark. I am all for protecting yourself against a gun wielding person, but 110 bullets at this guy?! So much for ever having a fair trial

OH..and then this little gem:
(courtesy of MSNBC.com and the AP)

FBI examining Foley e-mail exchanges
Congressman sent explicit messages to underage male pages
“..Foley, R-Fla., quit Congress on Friday after the disclosure of the e-mails he sent to a former congressional page and sexually suggestive instant messages he sent to other high school pages…
…Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid of Nevada called the Foley case “repugnant, but equally as bad is the possibility that Republican leaders in the House of Representatives knew there was a problem and ignored it to preserve a congressional seat this election year.”
Reid said the case should be handled outside Congress.
“Under laws that Congressman Foley helped write, soliciting sex from a minor online is a federal crime,” Reid said. “The alleged crimes here are far outside the scope of any congressional committee, and the attorney general should open a full-scale investigation immediately.”……”

Family Values party by backside! And this slimebag helped write a law making soliciting sex from a minor on-line a federal crime!!