Puff Puff

What is with people lately?! Maybe it is part of my ultimate crankiness as of late, but color me pink and call me the Easter Bunny I really can’t stand soap-box anti-smokers. I mean really people. I know it is bad for me. I know the list of crap that they put in smokes. I know all about second-hand smoke and what it can cause, let alone what I am doing to my own lungs when I take a puff. I respect people’s desire and right to not be exposed to second hand smoke, which is why I DO not smoke around non-smokers. I will leave a room and go outside. I do not smoke in my home and nor do I allow anyone else to smoke in my home. I don’t smoke in people’s cars and I will not smoke in a non-smoking area. If I am in a group of non-smokers, I just don’t do it. I also agree that restaurants should be smoke free. As a smoker even I can’t stand smoke around me when I eat. Makes me nuts.
HOWEVER, if I have to have ONE more person comment: “You know, that is bad for you.” when they notice my pack of ciggie-butts in my hand, I am going to fricken choke them. No Einstein, I DIDN’T know it is bad for me. What the hell planet do you think I live on?! It is my frickin choice to pollut my lungs if I want to and ya know what? You can BITE me if you think I am going to take your holier-than-thou condemnation of my vice. I could have worse ones folks. I could be shooting heroin into my body. I could be self-mutilating. I could be a raging alcoholic. If I want to smoke I am going to smoke. I make every effort and concession to non-smokers but god damn it lay off the “You should quit.” crap. Give it a rest already.

Me---the raging bitch today…

Someone put me in a timeout please!?!

Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to revert back to childhood and pull the “I am taking my ball and going home!” kind of temper tantrums? Well, I have those lately. I think most of it comes from my geographical location and language challenges. I really do speak Finnish pretty well at this point (taking the National Proficiency Exam in April), and am comfortable in my new flat. It is beginning to feel like home when I go there. I guess my temper tantrum is a result of many factors at this point. Partially it comes from the very long and cold winter here in Finland. Okay to be fair, it really didn’t get THAT cold until January (right at my birthday btw). The temperature plummeted to -25 degrees Celsius, which is -13F and with the wind it was -38C which is -36.5F. It stayed that way for 2 weeks…warmed up enough to snow..And then plummeted again. All the news agencies in the States commented on how cold it was in Moscow…well it was cold as heck here too folks. It is slowly beginning to feel, now, like spring just might come again at some point. I know it will, but I am just tired of the winter and whiney about wanting weather which doesn’t require a scarf, gloves, thermal underwear, and where the sun shines for more than 8 hours. Now, I am not really complaining about Finland per-se, but just the winter right now. I really am actually happy living here. Mostly. Here is where the geography comes in. My best friend (Mira doesn’t count in this evaluation), lives 10,000 miles away and I miss her. Period. I miss my Sug. I miss hanging out and laughing so hard I can’t breathe. I miss a good G&T as made by Sug… I know that the distance doesn’t change that we are best buds…but I just wish I could ring her up and pop over and just hang… The 10 hour time difference and airfare costs kind of prohibit that happening easily and without planning. See, it is uncommon here in Finland for people to just pop over. Happens all the time in the States….but it is my experience here that people plan everything before going out…the spontaneity is just missing from the whole thing. So SUG, when you read this: I miss you. Suga for you.

Right…language. Now, I speak Finnish pretty well (as my friends will attest). I can get along in daily life in Finnish, I can go shopping, I can work and have meetings in Finnish (building contractors are excluded from this at this point due to not really ever having learned the words for that kind of trade specific communication)…but sometimes I just want to not have to translate every frickin newspaper and newscast into English in my head. I am getting to the point where I don’t have to (slowly) and “tuoli” means the thing I sit on and I don’t have to think “chair” first. The concept “tuoli” now exists in my head as the thing I sit on. (No SUG..what you are thinking of, in regards to the 49 Things, Now 50 due to Duane’s FABULOUS addition… is “pepu”…okay that is the cute word for it…the technical word is “perse”). Isn’t that what language really is anyway? Concepts put into a verbal and written form of communication? The first time I thought in Finnish was scary as hell… I have dreamed in Finnish at this point too…but when the chips are down and I am frustrated or need to argue I still switch in to the comfort language of English. I now am preparing for the National Proficiency Exam so I can apply for Finnish Citizenship. I need to pass that before I can apply. Additional stress that makes me want to stomp my feet and demand milk and cookies before naptime and a big recess break!

The point of all of this? I am whiney and bitchy and need a vacation. Preferably to an English speaking country….Oh and did I mention my Mother AND my redneck Sister are coming to visit in May?..For a frickin WEEK?!?! I love my mom,….but in small doses please! I now have to find stuff for them to do and figure out how I am going to entertain them doing things that don’t involve alcohol (Mom is a friend of Bill’s) or a bar. This is going to be tough for me as I frequently make the drunken phone call/text message to Sug, K, Sarah..etc… Heaven (if there is one) help me.

Excellent...warning..nasty language and graphic descriptions..

MLE is touring this summer!!! From her website:

Melissa 2006 Summer Tour Announcement
M.E.I.N. is excited to announce that
Melissa will be touring this summer! Stay tuned to melissaetheridge.com for
updates on Melissa's Summer Tour plans and ticket on sale information coming
soon!

DUDE!!!

Now..we all know that Melissa Etheridge is like a lesbian icon right?... I honestly have to say that I have seen her in concert about 12 times and each time it is awesome. Nothing like 10 thousand dykes singing the words of your songs back to you :)

Also.. Commander in Chief started here in Finland...rock on Geena!

Other interesting stuff. I listend to my friend Phil's podcast with this guy from Iceland..and about 30 minutes into the interview Phil asks him about social differences between Iceland and it's EU nordic counterparts... You know where this is going.. The whole gay's getting hitched thing came up.. This guy actually said that "gay sex is not normal sex". Now...um could someone define normal for me? Please? I am not sure what NORMAL actually is. Does this guy just have an aversion to the idea of a guy sticking his dingding in another guy's rumshaker or mouth? I bet this guy has no problem if his girl gives him little bootahy action or a blow job and considers THAT completely normal. Or better yet..what if he goes south of the border for his lady...I bet he considers THAT completely normal..so why is it abnormal when 2 consenting adults of the same gender get their freak on?...GRRRRRRR Normally I am not so militant, but damn it I hate having the stupid "NORMAL" label thrown around...

Mighty..

It is the little things that make you smile....that and a really cool soundtrack. I have always wanted a theme song and NO SUG, "Jessie's Girl" is NOT it ;)

I am mighty




hey..a healthy ego is a good thing :)

The cool kids...

Ya know what is really funny to me? That people mock my open and honest love of Barry Manilow. So for all of you doubting thomases (no offence K or D)...

Could it be magic? Manilow is a chart-topper again
By Andrew
Gumbel in Los Angeles
Published: 10 February 2006

The king of easy listening is back. It's been 29 years since
Barry Manilow last had a number one album, but this week he has pulled off the
old magic one more time.
Manilow's new compilation of golden oldies - what
else? - unexpectedly soared to the top spot in the US Billboard chart in its
first week of release, to the delight of his middle-of-the-road, predominantly
female audience and, no doubt, the horror of just about everyone else...."

That's right gang. You read correctly. Mr. Manilow has done it again! Come on, everyone..sing with me now..."His name was Rico. He wore a daimond...."

SAGA

Okay. So I promised a kitchen explanation to those of you who have been unfortunate enough to hear/read my rants on the subject of our blind shaved monkey kitchen guy and his escapades in fixing the sink area wall and installing the kitchen we designed over months of painstaking re-work and geometry too complicated for the mathematically challenged individual that I am. Right, maybe I am selling myself a bit short on the math thing… Nah, I am hopeless. I have to have a frickin computer to even do simple addition. As most of you know, I love to cook and so does Mira. The kitchen, to both of us, is the heart of our house. One look at my scale and you can tell why :)

We finally decided on the flat we bought specifically because we could have an open kitchen/living room arrangement. Our previous flat had the kitchen in an inconvenient location for full conversation sharing between the cook and guests. One of us was always running back and forth to check on the dinner being prepared so we would always miss part of the conversation etc. This flat had the “bones” we wanted (literally too) and our adventure began after signing our signatures 11 times each on documents at the bank and paying money.

Kitchen Design: We finally chose a “kitchen store” (Domus) to provide us the cabinets because of color choice limitations of all of the other stores (Parma, Petra, etc). Seriously. 10 color choices is not my idea of having a “choice”, and for those of you who don’t know, Mira’s livelihood is color. She can look at something and tell you the % of all colors in it. It is a spooky talent. Okay she is a pro, but still. I am hopeless. I tried to describe the color we chose and it was like “um..bluish with grey..but not too grey and not too blue”…and she just shook her head. Same thing with the color of the wall paints… I just tried to describe what I wanted, she picked up the color swatches and actually handed me the color I was describing and told me the name…which I still can’t remember.. So, after what seemed like 4907987 visits to the kitchen store we explained our design to the consultant and all she pretty much had to do was write down the measurements, and put it in something similar to CAD (geek I know). Voila, we had our design and our price tag. (Props to Mira for reducing the cost of our kitchen by about 3 grand without compromising on our taste and wants (mmmm hard wood counter tops)..She rocks). The sales consultant then gave us the name of the firm they use and the offer from them to install it.


….during these whole shenanigans it was decided that the walls of the sink area needed to be altered so that the cabinets would “sit properly” and that the walls would look appropriately nice… After having a friend’s workmate (both of them in construction) who promised to come look at it and give us an estimate, stand us up 3 times we called the referenced firm from Domus. Monkey Boy, which is what I refer to him as now, showed up, we explained what we wanted done, he took a look and said “Jep, ei hätää”. Which means: “Yep, no worries”….

…Fast forward 3 weeks.. Sink walls…HOLY HELL. The left wall, which was supposed to have a sheet rock panel installed over the brick (due to time constraints), had the worst plastering job you have ever seen and it had more dips and holes than a rally course…. Fear began to settle in…. When he arrived to do the kitchen wall work, we informed him that our floors had JUST been sanded and that we covered the hallway and the whole kitchen area floors with paper (voima paperi) and to please not step off of them…. Well…we come in after they have gone so we can put the floor stain (very nice choice by mira I might add) to give them a bit of color and then after that the 1st layer of sealant to protect them. So..we dutifully take off our shoes (outside the door) and put on nice socks and go in to remove the papers. We walk around, remove the paper, vacuum and tack cloth the entire fucking flat. Excuse my language… We scrubbed with a clean cloth and started the floor staining ritual. I am telling you it was like invisible frickin ink. The frickin idiots walked all over our living room area with work boots on. We now have foot prints everywhere. I can tell you that Monkey Boy wears a size 42….. Okay..don’t panic..don’t scream Steph…UGH!!! At this point we just don’t have 1.) Money (paying for 2 apartments and a renovation leaves me at this very moment with 38,23 euros in my bank until payday on the 15th, and 2). TIME. We had no option NOT to move at the end of January… So to all of my friends who suggested the resanding, I appreciate your suggestions, but there is no way in hell we can afford it...both in money, or another place to live while it is being done and the re-staining is accomplished….

..so..Steph’s Latin temper begins to boil and poor Mira listens to me rant and rave at the ceiling.. We call him. Well…it was Mira cause Monkey Boy don’t speaka da English and I don’t speak Finnish well enough when it comes to remodeling terms and I would just spend 10 minutes yelling: “VITTU SAATANA PERKELE!!!” at him and that would get us nowhere. MB says that “we needed to use the electrical outlet on the other side of the room…and we didn’t realize there was NOTHING protecting the floors”…. WHAT?!?! What the hell did we tell you earlier you frickin ASSHOLE!! OH and the outlet that was right next to you on the wall of the COVERED area wasn’t enough?!?!?... JESUS..Thanks for the interesting conversational piece that is now our living room floor. I will just have to say it was a game of Twister gone wrong?

Cabinets arrive and Monkey Boy starts to install them. Now..the installation of cabinets begins…and he says that it will take him 3 days… Half way through he runs out of tile (and we estimated a whole extra square meter so he wouldn’t) and we have to order another box so he can use 4. Yes 4. To top it off, the 4 he decides to use have black stuff on them that won’t come off!. Our tiles are installed, but the frickin grout was not wiped afterwards so it is all over the tiles in clumps. Not only that… the “chemical” wash he used to “treat” the tiles when they went on is now splashed over our newly painted LIVINGROOM wall ( a good 3 feet away), down the front of my brand new cabinets and inside my BRAND FUCKING NEW and REALLY EXPENSIVE STAINLESS STEEL GAS STOVE!!!!.... What does Monkey boy say when we call him: “It wasn’t me. I didn’t do it. The stuff was covered and the stove shouldn’t have been there in the first place.”….. WHAT?!??!?!!? FUCKING WHAT?!?!?!?! You mean to tell me that this intellectual giant never installed tile in a kitchen that had appliances in them before?!?!?! You have to be fucking kidding me!!! Not only that, when we are preparing the kitchen for our moving day, the fucking genius grouted the masking tape he used to attach the “covering” of the countertops TO the fucking counter-tops!!! It took 3 hours with needle-nosed pliers and a hell of a lot of patience for it to be taken off… Oh and did I mention the giant holes he punched in our walls to run the electricity and didn’t even ask us first?... That part isn’t so bad because they are now covered with face plates..but come on buddy..give me a fucking break! Oh..and he STILL hasn’t scilconed the gap between the tiles and the countertop so we have to be very careful about not having any kind of wetness (especially in the sink area) splash near it.

…so the kitchen is completely done yet, the bastard has to come back… We called Domus and they told us that we are not the only client that has complained about his workmanship and attitude. We were number 3. So we actually were told that they are severing their contract with him. It is just sad that we had to be the 3rd client that had this experience. We called the consumer protection agency to find out our rights ( I was threatening not to pay at all) and the woman there said that the only thing we can do is argue when we get the bill and that we have to have him finish the contract or HE could sue US. WHAT?!!??!?! So Monkey Boy comes tomorrow to attach the backboard for the island (the original one was 3mm too small) and the kick boards for 2 locations. He is also supposed to silicon the gap…. We have decided that he will NOT be allowed in our house without one of us there….

….there..the Kitchen rant….


…on the plus side, our Bathroom company (Blosius) did a great job. Expensive, but great. It is precisely what we asked for and finished on-time. The painter we had help us was also great…..so all in all it isn’t THAT bad, but I still want to kick Monkey Boy in the bits..many many times.