Hide the Dictionary!

While trolling for an interesting topic to vent my spleen about, I came across the winner. I know it has been a while since I have blogged, but nothing has sparked my imagination lately. I could go on a political rant, but I have been there and done that and quite frankly, GW comparing the war on terror to the American Revolutionary war was just so stupid I couldn’t be bothered to lambaste him at this point. He is a buffoon and to call him a monkey is an insult to monkeys on branches. Haven’t you always wanted a monkey?
Right..I digress…

So it turns out that an award winning (2007 Newbery Medal) book is being banned from some US schools and libraries over the use of 1 word. Here I am thinking to myself: “Could it be the N word?”. I, for one, hate that word. But noooooooo. Not an N word in sight. The word of the day folks is “scrotum”. Yes, you heard me: scrotum. The book in question is by Susan Patron and it is called The Higher Power of Lucky. Now, this book is intended for readers from 9-12 years of age and won the previously mentioned very prestigious award. The word that is so offensive is used after the heroine of the book, Lucky Trimble, overhears a man talking about a snakebite to his dog.
The word is repeated as Lucky is described as thinking the word is "medical and secret, but also important".

Okay. I am all for protecting kids from porn, nasty images, gratuitous violence, overly annoying stuffed purple dinosaurs who deserve the crap beat out of them and parents who dress them in cutesy outfits. But, in my humble opinion, the word scrotum is NOT shocking. The author, who is a librarian, too is outraged that a library would take the role of censor. I would have agreed with her on that one. I mean seriously. The parent should be the one who decides what is appropriate for his/her little Johnny or Suzie to read and not a frickin librarian. Catcher in the Rye anyone?

What the hell is so wrong with the word scrotum? Do these kids not have health class? Do they not have science class? Things like this are why in my mid 30s, I still use the word whoowhoo for a vagina.

It is official...

You didn't really think I would pass this one up did you?!?!

Note: Um Hillary, I will vote for you, but I am thinking your tag line needs to be re-thought - " I am in. And I am in to win." Would that then mean if you didn't say that specific statement, one would think that you joined the race with any other intention other than to win? "I am in. And I am in to just shake up the field and not really to win, but really just to sort of make everyone think about it..maybe." Sorry..don't mean to be disrespectful to ya sister, but I am thinking your marketing people should really hit the drawing board again...

With the above being said, should she win, she would be the first woman to serve as president of the United States -- and the first presidential spouse to do so as well.

Potentially Ultimate Evil Villan! Rock ON!

Oh Holy hell..Another of those online personality tests. This is what I get for reading John's blog...DAMN HIM!!!

Busy Body- ENFJ 66% Extraversion, 53% Intuition, 26% Thinking, 60% Judging

You manipulative busybody! You're what some might call the "backseat driver" of life. You know, the one who knows exactly what everyone else is doing wrong and how they should go about fixing it. You're always trying to change everyone else. The strange thing is, you can generally get whoever you want, to do whatever you want. What's that? You want me to stop insulting you...well, alright...but only because you asked so nic...WAIT A MINUTE! Stop sticking your cumbersome nose where it aint't wanted. You're like an oversized sniffer dog, trained to sniff out everyone else's problems, yet oblivious to your own. For one you worry excessively. The fact that you're also incredibly sensitive to criticism probably has you on the verge of tears right now. Get a grip. You have powers of manipulation unlike any other. You know all the gossip and you know how to ultimately use it as blackmailing material. You could potentially be the ultimate evil villain... if not for the fact you choose to use all of your powers for good, rather than evil. How honourable. How admirable and praiseworthy. How pathetic. While you're helping others out and pushing them into the limelight, you're left in the background to inhale the dirty smoke of their success. Nice one. *****************

Step Right up to the Eating Disorder Workshop!

So I was reading the news today (surprise surprise) and I saw an article about my home State that set me right the BLEEP off. This article describes how all the children in the school were examined and screened for their body mass index and a letter was sent home with about half of the students to their parents warning of that the child was either “at risk of becoming overweight” or underweight - a new state law requires a school notify the parents of children who are over- or underweight or who may be at risk of becoming so. There was one girl who is 4 feet tall and 66lbs and she got sent home with a note to her mom warning that she was a risk of becoming overweight!

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?! This poor kid has now had her ego and body image slammed by the very people who are supposed to be protecting her. Don’t even think of saying “They are protecting her from having health issues in the future” That is bullshit! This is a young child who not only gets bombarded every day with images of models and celebrities through magazines that promote being rail thin and a stick but also hasn’t even hit puberty yet!!! . What the hell are they thinking they are accomplishing? Promoting healthy eating? NOT. They are damaging the body image and self esteem of a young girl because her BMI isn’t in line with the scale they are using. What if a kid is an athlete? BMI levels can be significantly higher in athletes because of increased muscle mass from the sports they practice. I am not for having obese children at all. Obesity leads to severe health complications and we all know this. But this is going too far. This child’s overall health and health care is the responsibility of her, her parents and her doctor NOT the schools. Change the foods in the school systems to be healthier? SURE! Require kids to take physical education classes? SURE! Require children to take health classes? SURE! But don’t send her home with a note that basically says that even though she has not hit puberty, is an athlete and very active she is still in danger of being overweight; it is just creating damage to her psyche and self image at an age where kids are already being judged by what clothes they wear, what type of sneakers they have, their hair style and also being with inundated by images of Nicole freakin Richie and her emaciated form, or Kate Hudson, Kate Moss..The list goes on and on.

Jesus! They might just as well start an ad campaign:

“Step right up little Suzie to your very own eating disorder! Take your pick, we have them all! Over-eating – to “medicate” that bruised ego you have and foster self loathing, or Anorexia – to be sure you fit in the latest size -456 jeans that all the best celebs are wearing – Bulimia – why control what you eat? Eat all you can and don’t gain wait by simply purging your system of those pesky calories! Forget having a healthy balanced diet to include fish, veggies and low sugar intakes, just let your self image go down the drain with our easy system!”

What is next? “Okay Suzie, you need to take this note home to your parents. There has to be something done about those glasses you wear. This scale we have says that children your age should have perfect vision. You don’t want to grow up to not be the perfect image of what media says. Your parents need to get you some lasik eye surgery.” Or “Okay Suzie, you have brown hair and blue eyes, but our chart here says that children in our school system should have blonde hair and blue eyes. You are in danger of not fitting in, so please bring this note to your parents to have your hair dyed so you better fit into our image of what a child should look like.”

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

John Made me do it

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Her Excellency Stephanie the Confused of Studley Roger Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Right..so I blame John Eddy for this... I was perusing his blog and had to find out what my Peculiar Aristocratic Title would be because of this site he mentions. Everyone else gets really creative names from this stupid place and ya know what??? Mine SUCKS! Wanna know why? Cause it is oddly TRUE damn it! I am:

1.) Excellent
2.) Regularly Confused
and
3.) My frickin father's name IS Roger!

How pathetic am I?

Laziness and stuff

There are no exuses offered for going 6 weeks without a post. I figure I am more active than K or D (can anyone say 7 months?). The only thing that has kept me from posting has been pure slovenly procrastination and a definite lack of any witty comments or insights. I called Sug over the holiday to wish her a Merrry Christmas, talked to the family, had Mutsi over for the 24th etc. Christmas was Christmas. A bit less enjoyable than it should have been due to a bit of a dark depression I was in. As previously posted, we were supposed to be in Boston for Turkey Day and I had gotten my psyche all set for seeing my folks for that holiday. We were also supposed to tack on the trip to Vegas for K’s 40th during that trip as well. Unfortunately, the budget and available holiday time threw a monkey wrench into that plan. So there goes my mood…down down down to the depths of “Holiday’s suck.” I suppose my bad attitude toward work didn’t help either...

Anywho, I am coming through to the otherside of a difficult holiday season. I suppose it is time to being posting again. I have been traveling a bit for work and doing more consulting lately than anything. It is good change from what I was doing. I think I was beginning to suffer from burnout. Not a pretty picture. Not to mention I passed my 3 year mark of living in Finland (3rd of December). This year I can apply for citizenship and am gonna :)

I was thinking I would not make any political comments on this post..but I have to. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t. So there is this Repbulican Congressman from Virginia named Virgil Goode who wrote a letter slamming the Quran and Muslims. Here are some of the quotes from this letter demanding an immigration overhaul:
“..there will be many more Muslims elected to office demanding the use of the Quran," ;
“..we will have many more Muslims in the United States” ;
“The Muslim representative from Minnesota was elected by the voters of that district and if American citizens don't wake up and adopt the Virgil Goode position on immigration there will likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Quran.”

And my personal favorite:

“The Ten Commandments and 'In God We Trust' are on the wall in my office. A Muslim student came by the office and asked why I did not have anything on my wall about the Quran. My response was clear, As long as I have the honor of representing the citizens of the 5th District of Virginia in the United States House of Representatives; the Quran is not going to be on the wall of my office.”

Now, this guy’s name is Virgil – and there are way too many redneck jokes I could make about that, but I am just not giving into the temptation. Virgil can be attributed to the Latin word virga which means “wand” or “staff”.Again so many phallic jokes and too little time. It is people like this thick as a brick chicken head that make my blood boil. Here is a guy who wrote this letter in response to the Minnesota Rep. Keith Ellison’s request to use a quran in his swearing-in ceremony and not the bible. Goode is a moron. The good people of Minnesota duly elected him to represent them in Congress and knew he was a Muslim when they did it. Not only does he want to use a quran, but he wanted to use Thomas Jefferson’s quran. Here is a representative of of Minnesota requesting to use a holy book owned by one of the founding fathers of the US and Goode is turning it into a fight and something islamaphobic (nice word that one). Just another example of religious intolerance in the US. I am surprised Mr. Goode didn’t go another step further and make an issue about Mr. Ellison being black.

grrrrrrrrrr

Turkey Day!!!

So today is the 23rd of November. Today, in the States, one of my favorite holidays is celebrated. There is none of that having to by presents bullshit, just family getting together to watch the Macy's Parade, eat a fabulous meal, gorge on desserts and fall asleep to the football game on the T.V. In the United States, certain kinds of food are traditionally served at Thanksgiving meals. First and foremost, turkey is usually the featured item on any Thanksgiving feast table (so much so that Thanksgiving is sometimes referred to as “Turkey Day”). Stuffing, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, corn, green beans and random other fall veggies...as well as pumpkin pie are part of the tradition. I personally will eat a piece of Pumpkin Pie and then a piece of custard pie. YUMMY!!!

The actual tradition of Thanksgiving comes from the meal held in 1621 in Plymouth Massachusetts with the Wampanoag. The Pilgrims were thankful to Squanto, a aboriginal, who taught them to grow corn, catch eel and was an interpreter for them (he learned English on a trip to Europe.) Without his help, the Pilgrims would probably not have survived the harsh winter in the colony. So they set apart a day to celebrate after their first harvest in Plymouth in 1621. Harvest festivals (what the US calls Thanksgiving) was already a part of English and Wampanoag tradition anyway so Thanksgiving is not strictly a US thing :) A " true" Thansgiving celebration was not really held until 1623 after a really harsh growing season - there was a drought..and then prayers for rain and an rain shower. Sooooo..it became a way of saying Thanks to the big Kahuna upstairs for getting them through. Anywho, President Washington delcared (after a recommendation by both Houses of Congress) that the first National Thanksgiving Day was November 26, 1789. It was then declared by presidents after him, but there was no official day yet. Since 1863, Thanksgiving has been observed annually in the United States. And incase you cared: In 1939, President Franklin D. Roosevelt declared that Thanksgiving would be the next-to-last Thursday of November rather than the last. So that is why Thanksgiving falls on a different date each year...but ALWAYS a Thursday.

...end of History lesson...on to my family traditions...

The men in my family, after dinner and dessert (and before the game) , would step outside no matter what the temperature and smoke a big fat cigar while debating who would win the gridiron match about to start. Friendly wagers and boasting would ensue. Meanwhile, not being partial to cigars or swaggering/boasting about sports, I would relax contentedly with my Grams and talk about all sorts of things. Mainly I would listen to her reminise about how it was when she was a younger (having moved from Ireland to the US as a young woman) or when she and my Gramps (may he rest in peace) were trying to feed their 7 children and relatives on the meager salary my Grandfather made working 2 jobs - postal carrier by day and supermarket stock man by night. They didn't have much, but my big Irish step-family gave thanks for their togetherness, health and the love of family. It has stayed that way in my family...and this year...well, I miss them. We may not be all blood realatives, but we are a family. They are my step family...well since forever they have been my step family, but no one uses the word "step" at all. My Grams says I am Irish (even though there isn't a drop of Irish blood running in my veins), and ya know what? If my Grams says I am Irish..then I am Irish.

My papa and I have a tradition on this day. I don't know why, but it is just my papa and me who do this in my family. There are 36 people (yes, I have a HUGE family) who all cram into the house to have dinner and be together. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, etc. As a result of this garganutan brood decending on one house, my parents usually use the ovens in both kitchens (yes we have two) to prepare 2 of the 3 giant turkeys that will be consumed (one of my many aunts brings the 3rd). When they are pulled from the ovens and set too cool a bit (can't cut a really hot turkey..the meat falls apart), my papa and I will frequently go and tear a piece of skin off and sneak it into our mouths. When the time comes for the turkey to be cut, my papa does the honours. However, we always share the first piece he cuts together. No one else. It is our little taste test...and I will really miss that this year.

So, without getting all weepy, Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Tough Choices

No, it isn't an election choice. No, it isn't an activist choice. No, it isn't a choice of what holiday to take. For those of you who don't know, I decided at 31 to get my first tatoo. I had always wanted one. I decided on a pattern and it means something to me. It wasn't a decision I took lightly (knowing that it would be on my body until I die). The design was not anything "silly" and it represents an ideal and bond that is so dear to me. The indepth explination takes too long and involves me asking a very important question of you, the reader, and then going through an entire exchange of dialogue that only 4 people can actually do properly, and they know who they are. The tattoo also represents a bond to 2 other people that were involved in the evening I actually had it done (yay Leb and Sug!), but for entirely different reasons. Some people think tattoos are nasty. Some people think they are great. I think of my tattoo as a reminder of many things. It is an homage to an ideal and commitment and it is important to me. The design is celtic to remind me that family doesn't necessarily have to be biological in my case, and complex to remind me of the complexity and beauty of life, love and relationships and that:

Friendship is Love with Wings

Anywhoo, it is on my body and in a place where you will see it if I decide to show it to you. And I don't even have to compromise my virtues by showing it to anyone. I knew after I got it that I wanted another one.

So now to the choices...what to get and where to put it......

Happy Thursday

Okay..so I get the news a bit later here (time difference and I have to sleep SOMETIME). I was biting my nails all day yesterday with Senate controll hanging in the balance. Woke up this morning tired and cranky..and then I read the news. I am a happy woman right now.

Some history making things as a result of this election:

• 1st Female Speaker of the House in US history: go kick some ass Pelosi




• 1st Congressman of Muslim faith: Rock on Minnesota's Keith Ellison




• 1st Socialist Senator: Vermont's Bernie Sanders and he is an Independent!!




• 1st record number of female Senators: 16!!!!




• 1st Black Governor of Massachusetts in its 218 year history: Deval Patrick - a man who ran a campaign that refused to run smear ads or use dirty tactics




• All 6 female Senators up for re-election WON

On a happy note as well... Adios to Donald Rumsfeld.

All of this jumping up and down on my part is my intial reaction to the election. Going forward now I just hope the Dems and Independents can actually get some stuff done without looking like mean winners. What the Democratic Party does now will greatly influence the 2008 elections. Let's just hope the Dems accomplish something or at least try to accomplish something..

One word..

HOTTIE!!




Even if you didn't like her music, the experience you got at her concert in Helsinki on the 30th was fucking insane. I think I wanna marry her....

How many cases?!

Sometimes it is difficult to live in Finland. I try and I try to learn to speak Finnish and when I speak I always make mistakes. Yeah yeah, I know I should be patient (I have only lived in Finland for 3 years) but it is frustrating as hell! My Finnish class started in September (again) and my brain feels like it wants to ooze out my ears. Seriously, stab me in the eye with a rusty dull spoon and gouge it out – it would be less painful! And for those of you Finns who read this, don’t you dare tell me that if the 4 year old of your former-university-roommate’s-brother’s-cousin’s-34 IQ-point-having-moron can speak it quite fluently, it can’t be that hard! It is! And no freakin PhD who wrote an article in the local paper saying that it isn’t that hard will convince me otherwise! “15 declinations of a Finnish noun” isn’t hard? MY ASS it isn’t!!!! “Oh, but our language is logical.” BITE ME! It is NOT. It is NOT logical to remove letters from some words and then ADD ones that never existed to the MIDDLE of the word so that it “sounds” better! Or, if there are an indeterminate number of items in a group you have a whole new case for that frickin word!!!! Jesus my brain hurts! Make the mean language stop Mommy! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t believe I even passed the National Profficiency Exam! Talk about making my head spin and my eyes bleed!

Can anyone tell that I have encountered one of those barriers in my learning where it doesn’t make any sense and I am willing to opt for brain surgery so it will make sense before it drives me any more insane than I already am? I am told the key is to drink heavily and it will eventually sort of “click”.


*Note: The Author, even though she is in need of her medication, actually speaks (according to several credible sources – including her Finnish professor) fairly fluent Finnish with an very acceptable accent. Said author is well aware of the perceived “illogical” structure of the English language. She also has the same reaction some Finnish speaking readers are having presently whenever someone feels the need to remind her if the “illogical” structure of English: “Well, the 4 year old of my former-university-roommate’s-brother’s-cousin’s-34 IQ-point-having-moron can speak it quite fluently.” Which translated means: Shut the fuck up and quit whining you pansy assed moron.

**Another Note: In all seriousness, I really do like the Finnish language. So all of you Finns who were about drag me for a trip behind the wood shed can just calm the heck down over there. If I didn’t like the language, I wouldn’t have spent so much effort learning it for the sole purpose of making less of an ass of myself than I normally do. Well that and I am incredibly juvenile and learning new curse words in several languages can be fun.

Being heard

Some Finns ask me why I am really anxious to obtain my Finnish Citizenship. The answer is simply 4 words: My right to Vote. I am an avid believer in voting. The first major election I voted in was the 1992 election of President William Jefferson Clinton. I voted for him then AND in the next election. I would vote for him again if I could. (damn you FDR!! and the 22nd amendment!)

Often I hear people lamenting about the politicians in power or the state of the laws - both in the US and in Finland. When I ask people why they don't do anything about it a great deal of the time the response is that politicians are always crooked so there is nothing they can do about it.

My answer to that: Ignorant. Some accuse me of being an idealist or unrealistic in these issues. Why? Who says that 1 person can not make a difference in this world. If you don't like the way your government is run, put someone in there who WILL make a difference in your life or who you believe WILL act in the causes that you hold dear. If you don't vote then you don't have a right to complain. If you don't exercise your duty to have your voice heard then you relinquish your right to bitch and moan about the state of the state. Even if your "guy" didn't make it, you at least voted and can now and with full righteous indignation say that in your opinion your guy would have done better. Or if the politician you did vote for is NOT doing his/her job you can vote them out of office by voting for someone else who you think WILL get the job done. Be active in your community and fight for what you believe in.

This is why I can't wait to have my Finnish Citizenship! I still retain my US citizenship, and yes I still vote. Granted I am only able to vote in the Presidential Elections due to my residency in Finland, but hey..at least I get to vote! Unfortunately I discovered yesterday that it will take about 18 months to process my citizenship application..and I can't even submit it until Dec of 2007!...UGH... At least in 2008 I get to vote... And this is what I hope for:

Just amused me

DANGEROUS: Whats for Dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST:Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:Are you wearing that?
SAFER:Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST:WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine

DANGEROUS:What are you so worked up about?
SAFER:Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST:Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:Should you be eating that?
SAFER:You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST:Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:What did you DO all day?
SAFER:I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST:I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some more wine.

13 Things PMS Stands For:
1 Pass My Shotgun
2 Psychotic Mood Shift
3 Perpetual Munching Spree
4 Puffy Mid-Section
5 People Make me Sick
6 Provide Me with Sweets
7 Pardon My Sobbing
8 Pimples May Surface
9 Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuffand

my favorite one
13. Potential Murder Suspect

mmm Bacon

Okay..random thought today. After spending a weekend in London and seeing the great Sir Derek Jacobi on stage, I have been obsessed with actors and actresses this week. Okay I know that truly great females in that profession should be called actors too, so don't get your knickers in a twist. Recently I stumbled across a website that has detailed information about a film which I love. This film is Funny Girl. Reason being - aside from the fact that it is Ms. Streisand, my uncle Lee Allen (dad's brother) was in the broadway production and film with her. On that website I found images of my uncle from scenes that were deleted from the final film. I also found one of the promotional photographs that they took together (I have a copy of that ..yes ..signed) It got me to thinking.. about Kevin Bacon... and how many degrees of Kevin Bacon my uncle is...

Lee Allen was in Funny Girl(1968) with Barbra Streisand.
Barbra Streisand was in Nuts (1987) with Eli Wallach
Eli Wallach was in Mystic River (2003) with Kevin Bacon
Answer: 3
So that makes little old ME only 4 degrees of Kevin Bacon!

Oh..and did I mention my Aunt Olivia (his wife) was on the cover of life in 1948?



Incase you cared - This is Uncle Lee with Babs..




It's the small joys of life :)

Poor Steve and David...oh wait..that is Derek

It’s the little things. The artery clogging little things that make me smile. Just spent a weekend in London with Sug. Arteries are hardened a bit, liver is recovering and my wallet is bare. Note to self: Make sure you have more money than you think you need the next time you go to London. We laughed our arses off. I would have to say that the funniest part of the weekend occurred 15 minutes into our time together. I had arrived at the hotel before Sug (her train was an hour late) and left a note at the check-in desk that I was (surprise surprise) in the bar. I had had just enough time to order a beer, put down my bag and try to get relaxed from my planes, trains and automobiles journey when I heard the unmistakeable sound of an American accent in the corner of the bar. The hotel was a 4 or 5 star hotel that Sug got on the cheap and the hotel bar was one of those giant ceilinged rooms with the mahogany walls and leather sofas. You know, the kind of place that oozes history and posh. The woman in the corner was yelling loudly into her mobile to one of her collegues (Steve) that she didn’t do this and he was responsible for that yadda yadda yadda. I mean LOUD. Loud enough that when Sug arrived and we did the hug hello, I needed to DOWN my beer. Seriously. Sug told me not to worry – having not heard the woman because Steve had obviously gotten a word in edgewise for a minute. Suddenly Beth’s face just froze and her eyes got wide. We started laughing. It only got worse. So, we decided to drop our bags off in the room and head out to have some libations and nosh before Ethel Merman in the corner made our ears bleed. As we were standing and leaving the bar, Beth turns to the woman and says quite directly: “If I were Steve, I would kill myself.” - I almost peed myself laughing. Why is it that the loudest and most discourtious people in bars here in Europe are Americans?!?!?! Those people foster the idea that the rest of us are just like them! This woman was unbelievable!

So we ate at the Tattershall Castle (barge pub and restaurant) on the Enbankment, had big fry-ups for breakfast, visited the British Museum and went to a West End show (Thanks again Sug for buying my ticket). Of course, I kept calling Sir Derek Jacobi by the wrong name (David) and thought Sug was going to have apoplexy thinking I would call him the wrong name – after I made us go to the Stage Door (even though I kept saying it was her idea ;) ) so we could get a photo or an autograph. I promised (and kept that promise) I would not call him David. I called him Sir. He was very sweet to pose for a photo with each of us. The show was quite well written as well! It was fabulous to see such an accomplished artist on stage. We also had awesome Cream Tea in the crypt of St. Martin of the Fields – yum! The weather was entirely tolerable – rain in the day but clear in the late afternoons and evenings. All in all a great weekend.

And people wonder why..

Some people wonder why I say I have no intention of moving back to the States any time soon. I get asked often here if I am living in Finland for the long haul or is it just a short term thing and then back to the land of cheap electronics, lower taxes and higher salaries. I contemplate it sometimes…but then I read things like this:

(courtesy of MSNBC.com and Reuters)
“Accused of killing deputy, suspect shot 68 times
‘We would have shot him more,’ sheriff says of SWAT team’s actions

MIAMI - A fugitive gunman accused of killing a Florida sheriff’s deputy was shot 68 times by SWAT team officers who found him hiding in the woods, according to autopsy results.
Police fired 110 shots at Angilo Freeland, 27, the target of a massive manhunt in central Florida following the shooting death of Polk County Sheriff’s Deputy Matt Williams Thursday.
“That’s all the bullets we had, or we would have shot him more,” Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd told the Orlando Sentinel newspaper….
…. Sheriff’s officials said SWAT team members found Freeland on Friday hiding under a fallen oak tree in a wooded area near where the deputies were shot, and began firing when they saw a gun in his hand.”

110 BULLETS!!! 68 of them found their mark. I am all for protecting yourself against a gun wielding person, but 110 bullets at this guy?! So much for ever having a fair trial

OH..and then this little gem:
(courtesy of MSNBC.com and the AP)

FBI examining Foley e-mail exchanges
Congressman sent explicit messages to underage male pages
“..Foley, R-Fla., quit Congress on Friday after the disclosure of the e-mails he sent to a former congressional page and sexually suggestive instant messages he sent to other high school pages…
…Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid of Nevada called the Foley case “repugnant, but equally as bad is the possibility that Republican leaders in the House of Representatives knew there was a problem and ignored it to preserve a congressional seat this election year.”
Reid said the case should be handled outside Congress.
“Under laws that Congressman Foley helped write, soliciting sex from a minor online is a federal crime,” Reid said. “The alleged crimes here are far outside the scope of any congressional committee, and the attorney general should open a full-scale investigation immediately.”……”

Family Values party by backside! And this slimebag helped write a law making soliciting sex from a minor on-line a federal crime!!

Klutz...

Right. It is so hard to be cool when you are a klutz like me. Mira's mom is coming over tomorrow evening and we are all going out to dinner. BUT, for those of you who know me, you know that I clean like a demon when people are coming over. I will ask Hale, for instance, to please excuse the mess when there is a magazine on the table or something...

Monday we play squash. Tuesday I have my Finnish class until almost 8. Last night Mira had a work dinner thingie (which I ended up at the afterparty and stayed out way too late and am paying the price for it today). Tonight I have Finnish class again and tomorrow Mira's mom comes over. Soooo, Mira and I had an agreement. I would do some of the cleaning last night and she would finish up tonight. She does the stuff I hate.

I will preface this with saying that this morning Mira told me that the apartment looked "perfect" :) I even moved all the funiture and vacuumed the skirting boards so that the dust bunnies wouldn't reform in under 2 days. All the while Tom Jones is blaring out of our sound system. Gotta have either Tom or Melissa when I clean... Anywho..I was standing in the wc and was starting to organize the cabinet in there. I noticed something on the floor so I bent down to pick it up. When I raised my head, I had in 2 seconds forgotten that I had left the cabinet door open (which is a mirror door..all glass). SLAM! Nice deep gash in my forehead! Blood everywhere. Now I look like Harry Frickin Potter!

I told people at work I got in a gang fight... Me and Harry...kickin' it Suomi style..

Drugs Drugs Drugs

So I went to the Doctor yesterday. It is a new doctor. My company changed healthcare services so now we have a better choice of healthcenters to go to. All private, all really nice. I opted for the one on Keskuskatu, which is a short bus or tram or metro ride from my house. My new doctor is awesome. She is professional, and also very easy going which makes it much easier to ask all those questions you have but put off asking cause the doc gives you the willies in one way or another. What surprised me was that when she opened the door and called my name, she said it PROPERLY! What a shocker! Turns out the woman speaks French, Portuguese, Spanish, Italian, English and Finnish! She also looks like she is 15. Which is oddly disturbing in a way.

Anywho..She told me after listening to my lungs, checking my sinuses, ears, and throat that I have: keuhkoputkentulehdus - which is finnish for: Bronchitis. She also says that I was really close to a nasty ear infection too. She armed me with 5 prescriptions (antibiotics, non-narcotic pain relievers, an antihisthamine that has a decongegstant in it, a thing to protect my tummy lining from all these meds, and a cough syrup that has codine). So..I take 2 pills twice a day, 1 pill 3 times a day, 1 pill once a day and a good hard swig of codine laced goodness (except for the salmiakki taste it has - ick!) at bedtime. Talk about feeling like a lab rat! At least I don't have an inhaler! K (and also my Doc) pointed out that maybe this is a sign to kick the smoking thing..since I keep getting respiratory infections. Not that smoking causes them, but it doesn't help any. The Doc was also wants me to have all of my records of the 43936246 tests I had last year forwarded to them . I signed the consent form the minute I left her. She wants to take a good hard look at them and stuff. Joy of joys..I get to have my 1st mamogram... Now I am all for the screening. I am all for women getting one early and yearly. I would rather know I am fine than just assume it...but part of me is a bit scared of it. The booby fairy was generous to me so I am not relishing the idea of my breast being flattened like a pancake..


Aside from only being out of the house to get food for the fridge (all of 5 mintues) and the Doc, I was stuck in the house for almost 5 days staring at the same 4 walls. Now, don't get me wrong - being home on the sofa can be waaay relaxing. But when you feel like crap it isn't so much on the relaxing part. Not to mention I have been dealing with work emails and calls from a Service Manager asking if I would help a junior member of our department when I am back at work...

Just sayin...

Bridezilla

Right. Friday we met some friends for a few libations and ended up going home early. The Finn had had a few with a work mate before we met Hale and Pia at Nalle for a few more. By 10, we were leaving and getting our butts home (Hale and Pia know why). Anyway..initially I felt quite tired on Friday and sort of achey. Woke up on Saturday with a congested chest that I figured was due to the copious amounts of cigarette smoke in the bar and my lungs (really do need to kick that habit)... Saturday evening we attended the 30th birthday party of one of Mira's old schoolmates. Towards about 10, I started to really not feel so well... Fast forward to Sunday and a full blown chest and head cold has lodged itself firmly in my system. Monday - did anyone get the number of that truck that ran me over? Today - I think it came around for a second go at me. I went to bed last night feeling better than when I woke up that morning..and now it feels worse?!?! WTF?!?!?!

On a happy note, I randomly signed into AOL IM at 9 something this morning and my SUG was on line (thanks to the time diff). Got to chat with the Sugsta for a good 30 mintues before she had to take herself off to sleepy land. We discovered today (last night for her), after thinking about it, I have known her for almost 15 years. She has been my best friend for quite a while. In ALL of the years that we have known each other, we have NEVER had an argument. Freaky. Of course, then we went on to discuss how long it has been since I moved and stuff and we sort of began to get weepy and crap. We put a stop to that right there! None of that shit thanks! She also told me that I have to grab the Finn and move the hell back to the US (Cali perferably). She said something about my little Portuguese/French blood not being able to handle the weather here or somethin. Funnily enough, we both come from Boston - can you say very very similar climate? I knew you could.

Sadly, moving to the US isn't in the cards right now. Silly little things like..um..a green card, jobs, money. Piddly I know, but still. Besides, SUG should move to Finland! I am sure she and her hubby would LOVE the tropical climate, low taxes and high wages.

I get to hang with Sug in London in a few weeks (for a few days), so that is good. She is going to visit her family in the Midlands. She actually did try to see about a side trip to Suomi, but unfortunately it would have more than doubled the cost of just her plane tickets. It is far mor economical for me to hop down to London. Cream tea here we come - not to mention copious amounts of alcohol and laughter...

Question: If there was a bridezilla in a horror/suspense movie - you know, the character you really WANT to see get added to the death toll in a right nasty fashion - what way would it be most satisfying for her to die? - Tower falling on her, eaten alive by cockroaches from hell...sawed in half by the caterer???.... Just sayin

Lovely

Facts (thanks Amanda):

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

A turtle can breath out of its bum!

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)