sometims...

Sometimes I just like to remind myself of the liberties I have as a US citizen and how I really enjoy them...

From the AP:
By SUZAN FRASER Associated Press Writer
© 2005 The
Associated Press

"ISTANBUL, Turkey — The presiding judge halted the trial
of Turkey's best-known novelist Friday, saying the court would need the approval
of the Justice Ministry for the trial to proceed.

Orhan Pamuk is accused
of insulting Turkey's national identity, a free speech case that has divided the
nation.

He faces up to three years in prison for saying to a Swiss
newspaper in February that Turkey is unwilling to deal with painful episodes in
its treatment of the country's Armenian minority or its continuing problems with
its 12 million Kurdish citizens.



Turkish novelist's trial halted
The trial of Turkish novelist Orhan Pamuk, charged with insulting the
national identity, was halted when the judge said the court would need the
approval of the Justice Ministry to proceed.

The case has led to
widespread criticism from the European Union, and the case is seen as a test of
Turkey's commitment to European standards of free speech. ......"

See, I can sit here and say: THE US SUCKS WITH RACIAL EQUALITY AND HUMAN RIGHTS!. or GEORGE BUSH IS ONE CHROMOSOME AWAY FROM AN ORANGUTAN ..(although I think that is actually insulting the orangutan).. And not have to go to jail or to trial for "insulting the national identity"... Gotta love the 1st Ammendment :)

How can Turkey hope to join the EU when it will not even discuss the horrible dark periods of it's history? The US can not progress until it addresses it's deep seeded racial inequality and backwards thinking when it comes to human rights, or it's open and (even worse) hidden descrimination against gays and lesbians and neither can Turkey progress unless it recognizes the mistakes it has made specifically with respect to genocide, women's rights, treatment of gays etc.

Who knew...

Okay..so I find these assessment things based on your birthday or name or what kind of ceral you eat incredibly funny. Below is what MY birthday supposedly means.

Your Birthdate: Not Tellin (although I did put it in for the thing)

You're incredibly introverted and introspective. You live inside your head. Oh so true don't you think? MUHAHAHAHAH You spend a lot of alone time meditating and thinking. 10 people in Italy..'nough said People see you as withdrawn, and at times they are right. Withdrawn?!?! People can't get me to shut up! 4 words folks: "Bring it home Steph!" You are caring and deep, but it may be difficult for you to show this side of yourself. Okay caring and deep yes... difficult to show it? I cry at frickin Hallmark commercials for christ's sake!! Your strength: Your original approach to thinking Oh yeah..I am an original alright.. Your weakness: You tend to shy away from others In which universe? Your power color: Pale blue Not since 1979 honey! Your power symbol: Wavy line um...er...whatever.. Your power month: July I live in Finland..of COURSE July is my power month..the sun barely frickin sets during that month!

These things are a HOOT!

Pretty soon I get to see this guy


Oh..yeah..and my family... :) I have the world's most rockinest 87 year old grams... isn't she great?!!

Officially...

Officially according to me Kristin Thomas shall now be known as the venerable Kristin "I am smarter than those silly people in white lab coats" Thomas a.k.a Dr. K. I have visited the very nice IwentToMedicalSchoolSoIShouldKnowWhatYouHave person at the hospital today to get the results of my bone marrow test. It turns out (and I have an officially signed paper to prove it) that I should have listened to K all along. I am certified as a Freak. I am an exception to the rule of white blood cell counts. The standard deviation of a white blood cell count is + or - 2% in the general population. Meaning at least 2 % of the population is either above or below the standard "acceptable" range when it comes to your white blood cells.

My Dr. confirmed to me today what K has said all along: "You have lesbian cooties and are a freak." It is true. My Dr (all Harvard edgumakayted and crap) told me that I am the execption even to the standard deviation rule. My white blood cell count is just, for me, normally and genetically twice that of everyone else. I am 100% healthy...and a freak of nature.

I should have listend to K in the first place. Then I wouldn't have had to have steel instruments stuck into my bones, x-rays, ultra sounds, blood tests galore and I wouldn't have had to travel to a bazillion doctor's appointments.

oooooohhhh I have cooties!!!!

Gotta Love Hypocracy

Okay..my little activist side is all in a huff right now. I am all about to whip out the big gaigundo rainbow flag, pink triangles, drag kings, gender-bending friends, gay priests...anyone I can find.

For those of you who don't know, I am a supporter in the fight against Breast Cancer. My very dear friend K is a breast cancer survivor (ROCK ON K!!) and I have known several women in my life with breast cancer. You, who know me, also know I have a real love of the music of Melissa Etheridge (yes I play softball, wear flannel occasionaly, own power tools and can open any damned jar without the help of a guy). Now, Ms. Etheridge has been an out and proud musician with over 25 Million albums sold world-wide. She is also a breast cancer survivor. Her battle with the disease was one that was open and not hidden - just like everything else in her life. So was Kristin's. Two very strong women from different socio-economic backgrounds, different careers, different friends, different cricles but with 2 things in common - both women, both with breast cancer. Okay, K isn't THAT different. She isn't gay, but let's face it, when your bridal party at your wedding included 2 lesbians and a gay man, you aren't a closed minded person. Just the opposite. K is one of the strongest women I know. That woman had side affects from Chemo that NO ONE should ever go through.. She was bald, sick, throwing up, tired, sad, exhausted emotionally ...the list can go on. Chemo, from all accounts, kicks the ever loving shit out of you.

Fast Forward - Grammy's 2005 - Ms. Etheridge performs a tribute to Janise Joplin after just having finished her last chemo treatment - bald as anything. Her hair was a big thing in her image and she admitted at first she was a bit concerned people would make fun of her, aside from being exhausted from chemo. Well..she decided to do it anyway because she never hid before and wouldn't hide now. Her performance was talked about around the world as inspiring and courageous. She received letters and comments from women all around the world, walks of life and stages of cancer stating what an inspiration she was to them to continue their fight - that if a 42 year old woman bald from chemo can perform in front of millions of people then they will not be ashamed of their baldness or be afraid to talk about their disease.

SO inspirational was her openly public battle with breast cancer that a major auto manufacturer approached her. Ford approached Melissa in 2005 about recording a single to serve as an anthem for the fight against breast cancer. The result, I Run for Life, is a song written and performed by Melissa that describes her own experience with the disease and also the experiences of every woman who has ever been touched by breast cancer. Ford, on their website describes her as:

" Grammy®Award winner, wife, and mother, Melissa Etheridge, knows just how
breast cancer can threaten our most precious human relationships. She also knows
how it endangers the most precious human relationship of all—the one we have
with ourselves. Diagnosed with breast cancer in late 2004, today she is
cancer-free. Hers is a success story. She fought breast cancer with all she had.
And, she won..."

So what does Ford do?!?!?!?

DETROIT - Ford Motor Co. said on Tuesday that its luxury Jaguar and Land Rover brands will no longer advertise in gay publications,...

Ford’s move came nearly a week after the Tupelo, Miss.-based American Family Association canceled a boycott of Ford vehicles that began in May, when the group criticized Ford for being too gay-friendly.

“We are ending the boycott of Ford,” association Chairman Donald Wildmon said in a statement Wednesday on the group’s Web site. “While we still have a few differences with Ford, we feel that our concerns are being addressed in good faith and will continue to be addressed in the future.”

You ask an out and proud Lesbian who is a breast cancer survivor to write a song to show how much Ford cares about women's health, said artist contributes ALL of the royalties from that song to Breast Cancer Research and then you turn around and stop advertising in Gay magazines because the conservative Christian right threatens to boycott your product?!?!? You hypocritical bastards.

I know people will say: " It was a business decision." MY BIG FAT ASS it was. Pure and simple they caved. The gay community should stand up and be noticed in this. Gay market reports that 78 percent of gay online users prefer to buy from companies that advertise to the gay market. More affluent. The gay and lesbian market is perhaps the most affluent and loyal affinity group of all. More discretionary income. The average middle-class family spends over one million dollars to raise a child through age 22. Some gay people have kids. Most don't. Where are they spending that money? EVERYWHERE.... Take a look at THIS list FORD.. Seriously people...

Research shows that gay consumers are...

Over twice as likely as national index to be professionals or managers

Average household income over $85.4K

Are 3.4 times more likely to have household income over $250K

The 2000 Census showed gay men and lesbians living with partners in 99.3 percent of all U.S. counties

Research shows 9 percent of urban populations are gay and lesbian

Twice as likely to have graduated from college

Gay men and lesbians go out more, buy more, have more disposable income and are extremely loyal consumers

Gay and lesbian consumers purchase from companies/brands that advertise in gay media, deliver product messages in gay-specific advertising, support gay and lesbian community causes and are good to their own gay and lesbian employees

Four times as likely to spend over $150 on long distance monthly

Twice as likely to spend $250 on cellular service
Over 90 percent took a domestic trip this year

60 percent took a foreign trip in the last three years

65 percent identify themselves as having to have the "latest"

68 percent upgrade to a product's latest model

77 percent "believe in indulging in themselves"

57 percent "prefer to buy top of the line"

59 percent buy themselves whatever they want

I say hit Ford where it counts. In the WALLET.

At the behest of Sug

Okay here it is. In a conversation with my best friend the other day (gotta love a 10 hour and 30 degree F difference), we were discussing my blog. I know she reads it because she gives amusing and insightful comments. Okay not so insightful, we save those for actual voice conversations. As most of you know, I have the utmost respect for my Sug (aka Beth Martin) and we will discuss anything from religion to politics to the weather. I asked if she had read my post on the whole Vatican decree about gays in the priesthood and she had mentioned that she didn't want to offend anyone so she didn't put a comment. ..don't worry I told her she was being dumb. She then asked if I had followed the stories about the civil unrest in France. Okay Riots. Plain and simple riots. And I told her I had, but had refrained from commenting on them because...because....well..I don't know precisely why....which is when I promptly called MYSELF dumb. SO at the behest of SUG here goes.

The Riots in France
by: Me

Lots of people got mad and burned stuff. The end.

Just joking. Okay one of the things that I am in some perverse way happy about, is that these riots took place in France. Let me go on the record as saying Riots are never a good thing. Innocent people get hurt and in some cases killed; property gets damaged and lots of businesses, who otherwise were harmless and serve the community, get destroyed. Now that the disclaimer is done with. I am pleased that situations with horrible racial and economic inequality which result in unmitigated violence happen in countries other than the US as well. Seriously folks. I live in Europe. My mom is Portuguese and my Dad is French. The country that seems to think it has the greatest social system in the world just had 20 days of terror and bloodshed due to the economic and racial divide that exists between people of color (in this case also immigrants and muslim) and the white majority during the month of November. As many of you know, I am not usually the one to wave the American Flag around and shout from the roof tops about how great the US is. The US is a great country in many respects but also has a long way to go in others. HOWEVER, sometimes it gets my little ackadack (Sug's word for my portuguese heritage) blood boiling to so often be exposed to outright anti-American sentiment and hatred. I can not tell you how many times I have listened to the Anti-American-Bigger-Bully-Stupid President-War Mongering Bastards speech and politely turned the other way. Now it is time to say: Hey, we aren't the only country with racial and economic problems!


Well Mr Chirac, how about you look to your own country with it's 8973 vehicles burned and it's 2888 arrests! The inhabitants of the French suburbs (banlieue) suffer from unemployment at a much higher level than that of the rest of France. And according to data gathered by the BBC unemployment of people of foreign origin is 1.5 times higher than that of people of French origin, after adjusting for educational qualifications. An unemployment rate of 5% for French university graduates can be compared to the unemployment rate of 26.5% for university graduates of north African origin. Racial and religious discrimination against persons with dark skin or Muslim-sounding names has been cited as a major cause of unhappiness in the areas affected.

...see the US isn't the only country with problems.... I am not going to sit here and say I support the war in Iraq. I don't. I am not going to sit here and say that there isn't a problem with racisim in the US. There is. I am not going to sit here and say that there isn't a huge economic gap between white and black in the US. There is. I am not going to say that there isn't a problem with religious intolerance (ironic considering the 1st ammendment) in the US. There is. But I am going to sit here and say: No country is perfect so quit bashing the US all the time.

uh-oh..maybe I should get 2?

For those of you who don't know, I have a deadly allergy to nuts. I was surfing MSNBC today and oh my. Some people don't get it..they think..allergy=pop a claritin or allegra and you will be fine.


Maybe I should get another epi-pen?

"SAGUENAY, Quebec - A 15-year-old girl with a peanut allergy died after
kissing her boyfriend, who had just eaten a peanut butter snack, hospital
officials said Monday.

Christina Desforges died in a Quebec hospital
Wednesday after doctors were unable to treat her allergic reaction to the kiss
the previous weekend.

Desforges, who lived in Saguenay, about 155 miles north
of Quebec City, was almost immediately given a shot of adrenaline, a standard
tool for treating the anaphylactic shock brought on by a peanut allergy,
officials said...."

Damn you Paul Simon!!

Okay..strange title I know. But all that was going through my head today was Simon and Garfunkle's "Sound of Silence". It was kind of ironic actually. Okay morbid. If you have been reading this blog for a while, you know about the upteenmillion doctor's I have had to go see and the bazillion tests I have had to figure out why the hell my white blood cell count is over 100% higher than it should be. Yep, you guessed it..I had another test today. Let me just say that at least this internal specialist was honest with me when she said "This will hurt." No sugar coated "you may experience mild discomfort" crap. When a doctor says "you may experience mild discomfort", they mean pain. Plain and simple...pain.

...so back to Morbid. The test I had was a bone marrow test. The doctor who is treating me speaks English beautifully, but she wanted me to be sure I understood the test, so she asked me to look it up and make sure her description matched the one I found. Gotta love WebMD : "A bone marrow biopsy uses a special tool that twists into the bone. You may feel pressure at the site and hear a crunching sound as the tool twists into the bone " CRUNCHING?!?!?! CRUNCHING?!?! What the fuck!!?! (pardon my language). Not only that...I get the extra special: "In rare cases, a fluid sample is removed from the breastbone.."

And then I see this part about possible Risks: "Injury to your heart, a lung, or a major blood vessel if the sample is taken from the breastbone (sternum). However, most bone marrow samples are not taken from the breastbone, so this problem is not common. " - tell that to my sternum buddy!

Yes folks, they twisted a giant frickin pointy metal tube into my sternum this morning and then stuck a frickin long ass needle and pointy other thing and snipped and sucked out stuff that shouldn't be on the outside of ANYONE's body at any time. Not only that, the first sample wasn't enough..they had to do it TWICE! Lemme just tell ya..that shit don't tickle.

The whole time...I am hearing the crunching noise of my breastbone being drilled into fucking Paul Simon singing "..it's the sound...of Silence.." is going through my fucking head! This test hurt like a mo-fo and now I have this strange sensation of my sternum weighing MORE than it did before not to mention a nice hole in the middle of my chest. Doc says it's normal. Okay so was my Pulp Fiction-type nightmare -complete with John Travolta slamming one giagundo frickin needle in to my chest normal too?

...right...results on the 13th of December...

And to think I used to be a Catholic

This just in from CNN:

(CNN) -- In an eagerly awaited document, the Vatican has
reiterated its policy against gay priests, but has said it would allow those who
have "clearly overcome" homosexual tendencies to start the process of becoming a
priest.
In spelling out its position on Tuesday, the Vatican office that
deals with education within the Catholic Church made a distinction between
deep-seated homosexual tendencies and what it called "the expression of a
transitory problem."
"The Church, while profoundly respecting the persons in
question, cannot admit to the Seminary and to Holy Orders those who practice
homosexuality, present deeply rooted homosexual tendencies or support the
so-called gay culture," the document said.
But the document said when
"homosexual tendencies are only the expression of a transitory problem ... these
must be clearly overcome at least three years prior to diaconate
ordination." (see CNN for the complete article)

Okay.."overcome" homosexual tendencies....isn't that what the majority of gay priests have done? Those gay priests who keep their vow of celebacy have "overcome" right? They do not violate their vow, they do not have sex with other men, they preside over mass, hear confessions, perform sacraments, advise, comfort, listen....in other words they are a Priest! How can the Vatican honestly think that a priest who is gay and is keeping his vow of celebacy HASN'T "overcome". Straight priests "overcome" their heterosexual tendencies when they take the same vow for christ's sake! (pun intended). They can't take a gay man who has been sexually active (ie. practice homosexuality) but they can take a straight man who has been active but who also now hears the higher calling of God? The Church has always taught since the First Century of the 20th Century that homosexuality, aside from being a grave sin, is also "..an intrinsic disorder. A psychosexual disorder." So if we go along those thoughts, there are many priests with psychological disorders - depression. anxiety, complusion, bi-polar disorder - just to name a few, but they don't try to root out those individuals do they? I have priests in my family and while I have the greatest respect for their faith and dedication to their vocation, I personally don't really care if they are gay or straight. When a priest is ordained, he takes a vow of celebacy. How can a "psychosexual" disorder such as homosexuality even be relevant if the vow is upheld. Isn't it just as bad for a priest to violate his vow either way? Or is it more forgivable if he beds one of his female parishoners or better yet, Sister Mary Whatshername from the convent next door? Having sexual thoughts outside of wedlock is considered sinful in any form. Does the Vatican really think that the straight priests don't have a randy fantasy every now and again? Gimme a break.

Oh..and while I am at it..what the hell is a "transitory problem" as related to homosexuality? Seriously. I mean transitory...hmmm...does that mean transitioning from having sex with someone of the same gender to abstaining? Does it mean like, the visit to the gay bar on Friday was a transitory one so I am not really gay? I don't know any true homosexual, who identifies as a homosexual, that would ever say it is a "transitory" condition or problem. It isn't like they are gonna wake up in the morning tomorrow and say .. "Hmm..now I prefer women". Bi-sexuality is a different animal altogether. Does this tranistory problem mean that they transition from gay to straight and back again? Now, before you get all nasty with me, I know damned well what the definition of transitory is. I just can't believe the Church thinks being gay can be transitory. Of course I also can't believe the Church thinks that being gay is a choice.....

...oh yeah...sorry for not posting for a while...I have been hella busy.... So Hei to Hale and Mira, Suga to Sug, HI! to Sarah, Kristin, Mel, Duane, Laura, John, Patricia, Bryan (who I am sure doesn't read this), etc..etc... and so on...

My unpopular opinion?

From YLE the state news agency here in Finland:


Government Debates Fertility Rights Proposal
Published 09.11.2005, 09.49

The government begins grappling with its policies for fertility treatments on Wednesday. A controversial proposal by the Ministry of Justice would grant treatments to single women and lesbian couples, and make it easier to trace the identity of sperm and egg donors. The plan was written up by previous Justice Minister Johannes Koskinen, but is now being presented by his successor, Leena Luhtanen. After government ministers debate the proposal, it will be sent on to Parliament for consideration.The plan would allow married and single women, as well as lesbian couples, to seek state-sponsored fertility treatments and in-vitro fertilisation. The plan also loosens restrictions on the privacy of sperm and egg donors. If approved, the law would make it possible for people to find out the identity of their biological parents once they reached the age of 18. The government has been trying to put together some guidelines for fertility treatments off and on for the past 20 years. The previous attempt in 2003 failed over the question of whether sperm donors can be traced by their biological children.

Now, I am all for the right for women to try IVF and aritificial insemination no matter what their sexual orientation or marrital status is. What I am a bit concerned with is the privacy of the donor of the sperm. I am not so sure, if I were a guy (and thankfully I am not), that I would want an 18 year old popping up on my doorstep sayin "I am your child." .... It is a tough position to take, but I would vote for keeping the anonymous donor anonymous. I know it is probably an unpopular view, but if the child was conceived out of love and is raised knowing how he/she came into the world then I don't see how giving them the identity of the man who donated sperm is going to make a difference to them.

just sayin...

Dinner parties

Right, so I remember as a child when my parents would have a dinner party. They would be happy and the time was where their friends would arrive dressed up an looking sophisticated. My little green eyes would spy them from the bannister, women dressed in their skirts and sweater sets and their dates/husbands in crisply ironed white dress shirts and creases in their trousers so sharp they looked as though they could slice paper. Everyone looked so sophisticated with their gimlets and stingers...

Grown up me... Dinner parties are fun..but work... Especially if you are invited to a dinner party by new friends and all of a sudden you find yourself in the kitchen cooking the entire meal for 9 people! Isn't the answer to the polite query "Can I help you with anything?" "Not at all, have a glass of wine and relax. Have you met ".... ???????

Seriously..went to a dinner party..asked if there was anything I could do to "help" and the next thing I know I have prepared (chopping appropriate veggies included), Shitake Mushroom Soup, Steamed Veggies, Wild Rice and a lovely pan seared chicken with a spicey honey glaze...

My new friends are soooooo not good at the dinner party thing....

GRRRR

Okay..in an attempt to stop the spammers from posting how much they love my blog and I should check out their: real estate, single women, mortgage information, animal sitting, knitting etc etc blogs, I have turned on the comment verification feature of this thing... I know it may be inconvenient for all 6 of you who read my blog..but get over it..I am sick of spam

...now for a relaxing breakfast with Mira....TA!!

Mmmm mannequins

"The whole theme of the display was sadomasochistic and implied
lesbianism…I
felt like I was walking down a street in Amsterdam and watching the
prostitutes sitting in the windows trying to lure in customers. Victoria’s
Secret has pushed the envelope so far, where can they go next? Live sex acts
in
their windows? … We should not have to fear going shopping at a mall…”

--Traditional Values Coalition’s Executive Director Andrea Lafferty,
who,
armed with her camera, waged war on Victoria’s Secret at the Tyson’s
Corner Mall
in McLean, Virginia.

Shopping for underwear with Andrea Lafferty must be like having a root canal!

I don't get what she is so pissed about. A Victoria’s Secret window display, in which two mannequins are spooning in a bed, one mannequin is posed on its hands and knees as if crawling and one is tied up with ropes. Each mannequin is wearing the typical Victoria’s Secret fashion---gasp---unmentionables!!!

Unusual? Yes. But to wage a war on a store for a window display? In fact, I don’t know what’s more bizarre — “lesbian” mannequins slinky undergarments or Christian conservatives taking pictures of “lesbian” mannequins in slinky undergarments.

Next thing you know she will be jumping on that hysterically odd logic train that ultra conservatives seem to ride regularly and propose that "lesbian” mannequins who have “sex” with other “lesbian” mannequins will soon want to have “sex” with “animal” mannequins. Who knows...she may still do just that. Next stop Creepyville. It always amazes me how lesbians or gays getting married or as consenting adults are intimate privately behind closed doors in there home together always gets to the
"animals" stage. Seriously folks, and they say gay people are messed up?!?!?

How do you even determine if a mannequin is a lesbian? Is there a test of some sort that I don't know about?...

Feeling Philosophical

"Run for your life from any man who tells you that money is evil. That sentence is the leper's bell of an approaching looter. "

"So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of all money? "

- Ayn Rand -

Just cause..

Little Things

It is the little things that make me happy. I have now lived in Finland for almost 2 years. It was somewhat of a culture shock when I first moved, but nothing that sent me running for the next plane back to Beantown. Life is a journey and I have a philosophy that every day I should learn something. It doesn't matter if it is something small or big or about me or the world. Learning should never stop.

I learned something today. It is the little things at work that can make you feel good about your job and your ability to do it. In the States it is common to commend someone for a job well done. If they have performed well in a difficult or stressful situation, a simple "Good Job!", or "Thanks so much for your hard work, I appreciate it." From my experiences in Finland, not so much of that here. It is sort of expected that it is your job and you do it. Period. At the end of a successful project the team will most likely go out for beer or have a launch celebration, but individual compliments are hard to come by.

So ..my project from hell is proceeding and I had to give a 2 hour presentation today (complete with a snazzy powerpoint slide presentation, pivot tables, charts etc) - at the end of it, the Project Manager said "I had a feeling you knew what you were doing. Now I KNOW you do. I am very happy." - That is HUGE for me!

Suddenly I am not as stressed as I was before, even though I still have 346356 meetings a day and 3636456 things to get done. That simple little "I am happy." from my PM made a TON of my stress go away...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....now time for a hot cocoa to celebrate...then back to the grind....

...did I mention it has snowed already here?...brrr....slippery ice covered sidewalks are scary at o'dark thirty in the morning...

..finding my "happy place"...

...okay. It is really hard to find my "happy place" right now. Work is absolute madness. I have 346356 meetings a day and 3636456 things to get done from said meetings, but no time to do it. Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE to be rushed?... holy mother of god this is frustrating... I feel like I have to hand hold everyone through the tasks which they are supposed to get done and if I don't do it the tasks WON'T get done....

I think some 80's music is in order on my headphones today and a big sign on the back of my chair that says "Cranky Pants. If you value living don't bother me."......

Mmm..Pasta

Ouch! My Liver! MIDNIGHT!! (long post folks)

So, I am back from a week in southern Italy. Sun, pasta, wine, scooters…did I mention past and wine..oh and more wine..and more wine..and more wine..and pasta..and a bit of wine. It was a week of laughter and fun. 8 Americans, 1 Canadian and a Finn all converged on the unsuspecting Hotel Residencia Le Terazze for a week of what turned out to be tons of fun.

Day 1
Mira and I arrived on Saturday afternoon and caught up with Brian and Pepe his disturbing South American accented alter ego. Poor Brian lost his camera, hadn’t slept for almost 2 days and had to endure ME all the way from the airport in Napoli to Sorrento. It was the full Planes, Trains and Automobiles experience. Let’s face it, I can’t be quiet. It is physically impossible for me. I have a mouth that just doesn’t shut up. Ever. After getting totally robbed by the Taxi driver – 42 freakin euro for a normally 23 euro taxi ride - (can you say little button next to the gear shift which adds 8 euros every time the little old bastid hit it surreptitiously while changing gears?) we arrived at the hotel. What do I find 2 terraces over from us? An energetic group of geriatrics from, of all places, New Frickin Hampshire! They heard my loud voice on the phone with my stepmom, who has the uncanny ability to bring out my latent Boston accent that I worked very hard to lose, and one little old lady decided to come over and say “Excuse me, but I heard an American accent.” They were very nice and were surprised to find that 6 out of the 8 Americans were all from New England at some point in their life. – spooky-

K, D, Mel, Laura, John, Patricia, and Sarah were all up the hill at the little village (Sant’ Agata) getting munchie stuff so we could all nosh and get reacquainted. Fast forward to dinner at the restaurant in the hotel next door (our’s didn’t really have one) and K has a brilliant plan..again. She buys 4 bottles of Cianti from the restaurant and we treck them back the 60 feet to our terrace. We proceed to crack em open and fun and hilarity ensued. It had been so long since we were all in one place (for those of us who knew each other previously) that we couldn’t stop cracking up. We had a blast. Opening our arms and hearts to the new ones (shout out to Sarah, Patricia and Brian) and it turns out they are as nuts, or even MORE nuts than we are in some cases! Happy happy joy joy it was great…up until… MIDNIGHT!!!! There is nothing that can prepare you for having an old man in his old-man jammies come storming out of his door and without preamble or any kind of nicety yell: “MIDNIGHT!! MIDNIGHT!!! “ at you. Okay..I can understand someone requesting that you keep it down cause they are trying to sleep, but JESUS..it was a SATURDAY night and the carriage had JUST turned back into the pumpkin fer chrissake. Needless to say we all mumbled “..um..sorry” like chastised children and decided to call it a night. Of course the giggling just got worse everytime one of us cranked out “MIDNIGHT!!!” in a stage whisper!... Good times…

Sorrento is a beautiful place. Really. One thing though. The drivers of the cars are nuts, but the scooter drivers are worse. Seriously. I knew that Italy had some scooter action going on, but WOW. Freaky. Dad’s with their little 5 year olds in front of them zooming through traffic missing car bumpers by mere inches… I think they teach them early. Mira and I had contemplated renting a scooter while there before we arrived…after arriving and SEEING how they drove..NO FRICKIN WAY!!!

Days 2-6
Because I am horrible at remembering exactly which day we did what…here goes:
Ristorante Museo Caruso
- This restaurant was so yummie that we went there twice despite the cost. The entire restaurant is dedicated to the famous opera singer from Naples, Enrico Caruso. It is (as the name says) a beautiful museum dedicated to the memory of the opera singer and his love for good food. The atmosphere is decidedly upscale and the service is wonderful. Gotta give MAD props to Reno! Reno was the waiter from heaven. What a guy! Funny and incredibly accommodating. He recommended a local wine that was fabulous on our first visit! The second visit was decided to be our “dress up” event – which Mira said for her meant shoes and socks. John recommended we book a chef’s table and let the chef have at it. What a great decision. DUDE..it was AWESOME. D and K were incredibly generous and wouldn’t let any of us pay. Duane said it is a tradition in the UK that when someone invites you out for a birthday dinner that THEY pay. I am very grateful for their generosity…although it probably means they won’t be able to eat for a month in the UK!...

…Back to the Hotel and more booze…and a drunken call to Sug (you knew it was coming)

Capri
- … the island of Capri is lovely. We took the ferry over and decided to take a boat tour around the island so we could see La Grotta Azzurra (The Blue Grotto). HOLY HELL was there some CHOP on the Med THAT day. I thought I was gonna toss! There was some serious nausea all around from the trip out to the Grotto. Anywho..the Grotto: It was “discovered” in 1826 by a German writer (August Kopisch). It is a natural cave and the magic of it is that sunglight, passing through an underwater cavity and shining through the water creates a blue reflection that illuminates the cavern. Breathtaking. To get into it, the big boat we took to the cave moors outside and these men in little row boats row up and help you down to their boat and you sit on the bottom of it. There are usually a max of 4 people in the boat with the “driver”. When he gets to the opening he tells you to duck – trust me he means it – and then pulls the boat via a chain anchored to the wall through the opening. The rock of the opening passes within about 6 inches of your head..creepy! Once inside, they row you around and when the boat turns you see the reflection. It is gorgeous. The whole time the drivers are sining opera. Lemme tell ya, there is nothing like it… Of course the drivers foot that ended up in Sarah’s “area” was an unexpected feature of the trip for her…

…The Gardens of Augustus – Mira’s work mate mentioned that we MUST go to the gardens if we want to see an absolutely beautiful view. She was right. Gorgeous. We have some amazing photos. The flowers were just beautiful and everything was so peaceful. The group ended up having a foto taken of us by a very nice lady (American) who was so patient. And funny. She made sure at least most of us had a photo of the group. Gotta hand it to that lady – she was able to figure out multiple digital cameras AND Sarah’s actual film camera (seriously.this camera is so old I expected an archeologist explination to accompany it).

…back upup (aka hotel) more booze

“Girls Day” – aka lazy day
K, Sarah, Mra and I decided to laze about one day while everyone else went downdowndown (aka Sorrento). We lounged by the pool and tried to recover from our hangovers…We read a bit and at about 3 decided to head upupup (aka Sant’Agata) for some lunch. Can you say 2 hours to get food? We were some seriously cranky women by the time our food arrived. The temperature also dropped at the village and being in shorts, sandals and various very light clothing (not gonna give you the low down on all our outfits..that would be way too girly for me) we hopped in a taxi back down.

…later dinner..and …um..more booze…

Shopping and the Marina
- we ambled through the shopping area and looked at the goods for sale…some interesting stuff there… like a WINE shop! Mmmm…wine…

…later…dinner and um…more booze…

Pompei
- The one thing that the Hotel manager guy actually got right..was his private guide for us for Pompei. Raefaelle (totally butchering the spelling). He was GREAT. He took all 10 of us on a 2 ½ hour tour of the ruins of Pompei and gave us a great history lesson. Very nice man! He was so worth the 100 euros for the 2 ½ hours…really..rockin. Pompei is a really great archeological site and if you ever have a chance to see it..GO! Some of the group wanted to see Vesuvius, but unfortunately the weather was way too cloudy for it. – sad. I have seen a volcano (an actual active one) and I was hoping that they could see it.

….right…more booze…

Summary
It was a great trip and we met some new people who are now counted as friends. I know I left a TON out of this ..but hey..my fingers are tried from typing…. Interesting note: the 49 Things may officially be 50. Sug has the final say, but it is nice to know that “IT” is an actual mute button… :)

Alcohol and emotion

Right, so the other night I was out with Mira and we had dinner..and a few drinks. So drinks turned into more drinks..and before I knew it I was a bit tipsy. I think we were preparing our livers for Italy. Anywhozamawhatzit..discussions turned to "Who do you turn to (partner's, husbands, wives..etc excluded) when you really need to talk or just wanna hang out without having to say much." Long topic I know, but after many drinks, condensed conversation is not even remotely possible. I don't think she even finished the question before I answered it. I am not trying to disrespect my other very close friends, but let's face it: Most people have a friend that they can tell anything to. That friend that can know what you are thinking just by looking at you..and sometimes they don't even have to do that. So close that you almost share a brain. You know the type. That friend that puts up with your moody crappy attitude when you are tired and hungry. That friend that will not tell you how much they are not fond of your current S.O until AFTER you break up. That friend that you can call at 3AM..broken down on the side of the road 100 miles away and they will come get you. The one who you can show up on their doorstep and with just a glance and no questions asked they know that you just need to "be" and they hand you a drink without pushing the subject. The friend who will look at you and say "You are being a complete bitch."...and coming from them you know it is true.

The friend who no matter how long it has been since you last spoke..when you call or they call..it is like you just finished a conversation 5 minutes ago and are picking up from where you left off before the stupid call waiting beeped in... That friend that you will drive 70 miles each way several times a week to feed their cats and clean the litter boxes cause they are on vacation. That same friend who you will totally forget to pick up at the airport because you are too stupid to put the return flight information on the CORRECT day in your calendar thus resulting in said friend and spouse spending ungodly amounts of money on a taxi home from the airport to an entirely different state, and they STILL talk to you.....

Hours and hours of laughing so hard you almost pull a muscle...The friend who will honestly look at you and say: Yes that DOES make you look fat... I don't think I have to keep going...

Anyway..so I looked at Mira and without even thinking about it "Sug" came out of my mouth.

Totally serious. Sug is that friend.

Nothin but love for you SUG.... and incase anyone was curious..her actual name is Beth...and even though I live 7,000 miles away from her right now..she is still my best friend and I wouldn't have it any other way.

...wow..I am way too mushy...

hmmm...

Have you ever had that moment where something is said at just the right time and in the right way that you start laughing...and can't stop. Everytime you try to stop, a new fit of giggles wracks your body. You laugh so hard your stomache muscles ache, you can't breathe, tears come streaming from your eyes...

...well if you haven't then you are missing out on a great thing. It happened to me this weekend. I laughed so hard I cried. My stomache hurt, my cheeks hurt from laughing so long and so hard. It was so liberating...

...try it sometime....

....one line did it..."...that's not Nancy..."

Fusche 2:15

A reading from the Book of Fusche (ardent follower of the FSM) Chapter 2, verse 15:

And it was decreed if thou hast need of drawing of the blood thou must seek the
ministrations of the mystical metal implement which shall be wielded by those
adept and trained in its use. Thou must not subject thyself to charlatans posing
as an Adept in the vestments of the mystical white lab coat. If thou dost do so,
thou whilst be set upon by darkening of thy skin in those areas where the vile
impostor hath, as such, jabbed thine formerly pristine area. Ye shall suffer
great discomfort and agitation; bringing about great bitching and moaning which
shall fall upon thine companions ears much like the sound of one's fingernails
being draggeth upon a chalkboard. So go forth ye to the true Adept for thine
drawing of the blood. Ye shall know them by the mystical name of: Phlebotomist.
Cleanly and precisely shall this Adept place the mystical metal implement to
thine skin drawing forth many vials of thine valuable life force leaving not a
blemish to mark its passing."

One needle, one phlebotomist, 3 minutes, 5 vials of blood, no bruising. All praise to the FSM.

Now I can relax for my trip to Italy.

:)

Tom Delay - indicted
Judith Miller - singing the truth about Mr. Cheney's chief of staff
CT Civil Unions - same rights, different word..are gays now "civilized"?

Just wanted to share the happiness..

:)