I got the best compliment yesterday. I was told that my sense of humor (writing and observation) is not slapstick but more along the lines of a Dennis Leary :) How cool of a compliment is THAT?! I sent my very good friend Amanda (South African but with a UK passport..go figure) to the blog entry I had posted after getting over the blah's so she could read it. I would have sent SUG there first, but the time diff means she is drooling on her pillow right now. I have to say I love having friends that get the long winded joke in that blog. Why surround yourself with people who only find bathroom humor funny? I am not saying there is anything wrong with bathroom humor, but I go for more of the cerebral humor. Not the pompus kind. The dry, sarcastic kind. For example, Dennis Leary. Love his comedy. It is biting, cerebral, sarcastic, and profanity ladened without being pompus. He has worked very hard to have the “working man’s image” – chain smoking Marlboro’s, drinking tons of coffee and booze and not wearing designer labels. But when his comedy is analyzed, it is entirely NOT bathroom humor. What makes him enjoyable to all the regular joes out there is the fact that he presents himself as the same kind of hardworking construction shmuck as the next guy but with an axe to grind. If you have never heard the song “Asshole” by him, you MUST listen to it. So, I am quite honored to have been told I have a similar humor to him.
That sucking sound you just heard was the air being sucked out of the room to allow space for my ego :)
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Monkeys
Was on my way home from a bar (surprise) and decided that I would try again to contact the other side of my brain – Sug. Miracle of miracles, she finally answered her phone and wasn’t in a meeting from hell. Little did I know the reason behind that availability was that her job had been outsourced on Monday morning and here it was Tuesday afternoon in California. She was out driving around doing errands in the Durango. I have not laughed that hard during a conversation in a while. Totally owe the Sugsta for kick starting my creativity again. We were discussing senses of humor and shiznit and I was whining about how I had this HUGE burst of creativity on Friday Night/Saturday Morning. Was laying on my bed hugging a pillow after a few drinks out (surprise surprise) while the Finnish midget was emailing her friend and I began to talk to myself. This, the random statements not the boozing, is not a surprise for those people who know me well. Random thoughts issue forth from my gob at the most inopertune times. I usually blame it on Terrets, which I don’t have, but people don’t know that so they have to go around being all politically correct to me – ‘cause you don’t want to upset the person with a disease right?.. Anyway, I am laying there drunk, and wow my brain starts firing out all these things that are “pathetic”..I was on a roll people. I was making MYSELF laugh audibly and I figured GREAT. I jump up, run to the living room and grab my trusty laptop. Race back to my bed, get myself all situated with the pillows in the right place (comfort is usually conducive to writing for me) and ya know what happens? NOTHING. The entire rant that I had come up with was gone. Poof. Off to see the Aether Bunny without so much as note saying “Ciao, and don’t forget to turn of the iron!”. So now only snipits of that world class observation on the human condition remain. Sug suggested I grab one of those digital voice recorders so I can record what I want when it happens. She goes on to tell me that the creative process that we have in common is a right brain-left brain thing. If this is true, and she is the other side of my brain, then that bizatch has been stealing my ideas! Damn you Sug! I always knew I was the driving creative force in this duo. Sort of like the Wonder Twins, but our power is biting sarcastic and cerebral humor – without the monkey. Although having a monkey could be cool. I digress.
The rant “Pathetic” is gone forever, which is sad, but I still think that Sug helped me get out of my creative funk by relinquishing control of the creative part of my brain back to me. See, she may be this really great screen writer, but I am the one with random stuff issuing forth from my piehole which induces side splitting laughter. Okay, it is only splitting my own side, but that is what counts. I don’t care what makes other people laugh. I just like to pontificate (word of the day) on politics, religion, small monkeys, cheese, Belgium, etc, all to hear my own laughter. ‘Cause isn’t that what it’s really about? Amusing yourself at someone else’s expense? Come on folks, don’t you dare sit there and tell me you have never, or never had the desire to laugh out right at someone else’s stupid behavior, deformity, intelligence level, yadda yadda. If you try to say: “Oh, no! I would never do something like that.”, you are liar. Worse, you are BAD liar. If you are gonna lie, at least be good at it people. I find nothing wrong with pointing and laughing at stupid people. It is what makes life worth living sometimes. Seriously, human beings are so incredibly stupid sometimes it is not surprising how close we are in DNA to a frickin chimp. See..it all comes back to the monkey.
The rant “Pathetic” is gone forever, which is sad, but I still think that Sug helped me get out of my creative funk by relinquishing control of the creative part of my brain back to me. See, she may be this really great screen writer, but I am the one with random stuff issuing forth from my piehole which induces side splitting laughter. Okay, it is only splitting my own side, but that is what counts. I don’t care what makes other people laugh. I just like to pontificate (word of the day) on politics, religion, small monkeys, cheese, Belgium, etc, all to hear my own laughter. ‘Cause isn’t that what it’s really about? Amusing yourself at someone else’s expense? Come on folks, don’t you dare sit there and tell me you have never, or never had the desire to laugh out right at someone else’s stupid behavior, deformity, intelligence level, yadda yadda. If you try to say: “Oh, no! I would never do something like that.”, you are liar. Worse, you are BAD liar. If you are gonna lie, at least be good at it people. I find nothing wrong with pointing and laughing at stupid people. It is what makes life worth living sometimes. Seriously, human beings are so incredibly stupid sometimes it is not surprising how close we are in DNA to a frickin chimp. See..it all comes back to the monkey.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Brain Dead
I have no idea what is up with me lately. I am completely brain dead. More so than usual. I have not a spark of creativity in me. Could it be that work is just mind numbing lately? Could it be that I can't wait for my next holiday time to start (24th of July) and am looking forward to the 3 weeks I will have to myself.
I am just blah.
I am just blah.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Friday, June 30, 2006
Ahhhh
Been up to my eyes at work and was on a happy holiday in the sunny Algarve. No joke. 35 degrees Celsius, shining sun and a slight breeze. Now, I am normally not one to complain about heat. I am a sun baby and I love being out in it. However, this was some seriously hot sun folks. I felt like my Portuguese butt was being roasted, an apple was about to be shoved in my mouth and I would be served up at the next bbq. Seriously baking :) Just the way I like it.
The trip was great. We drank quite a bit of wine and lazed about in the sun most days. Naps are essential to a good day. Mmmmm naps.
Interestingly, there were less Portuguese people there than one would suspect. I realized it was quite a tourist area (although we were lucky enough to have a villa outside of Albufeira so we avoided most of the crunch), however, I really had forgotten exactly how many English and German people invaded. Holy Hell! Anyone for a proper fry up? EVERY restaurant has a “proper English breakfast” and some have the American version. Tons of English dishes to be had at the restaurants. Now, correct me if I am wrong, but wasn’t I in PORTUGAL? Why the hell would someone (English) want to have their (English) dishes they can get at any old (English) pub? Isn’t the point to experience and enjoy the “native” food? It isn’t like there is a derth of choices in Portugal for food – rabbit, beef, pork, chicken, fish (about a zillion types), shell fish, pasta, baked goods (mmmm yum) all made with actual herbs and spices unlike SOME (English) food. And before Sug starts goin on a rant about fought over real estate being valuable real estate (extra points if anyone besides Beth gets that reference), ackadak languages, Her Majesty’s Empire and cheap help, I would like to point out that Portuguese food is some seriously good eatin. Unlike the boil it till it’s grey mentatlity one experiences..ahem..elswhere.
I am already missing the herbs and spices used there. Not to be mean to Finland, but..to my Finnish brothas and sistahs..there are more spices than just pepper, salt, and crappy chili powder that has no kick. There is nothing like a garlic ladened proper FULL meat and fat sausage (mmmmmm Portuguese churiço), or mussels in a cataplana, or spit roasted picanha (wikipedia explination for you non portuguese food savy types..Oh and Beth..in case you wanna try it: Picanha Churrascaria – 269 E. Palm Ave in Burbank). Now, before you get your panties in a bunch..I know it is a Brazillian way of making the food. HOWEVER, Brazil was discovered by the Portuguese in 1500 (Pedro Álvares Cabral)- pay no attention to the indigenous people folks – they didn’t have a flag and even Beth knows what happens when you don’t have a flag. So, Brazilian food is Portuguese food. And I am also the queen of the universe. Don’t tempt me to smite you.
I should say this though. God love the English, and Germans for bringing a decent beer to the Algarve. I can’t STAND the piss they try to pass off as beer! We drank (not including those bottles at restaurants) 35 bottles of wine during the week. By Friday, I was so jonesin for a beer it wasn’t even funny. I was NOT going to dring Sagres and the “Super Bock” concoction they try to pass off as beer makes me wanna hurl. All hale the E.S.B! Oh and I can’t leave out the Irish..:Guiness is the nectar of the gods.
All in all it was a great trip…we left there with 1 more large suitcase than we arrived with. We have priorities here..had to have space for the wine and Cachaça. I won’t bore you with the details of how brown I am or how rested I became. Love Portugal..land of my heart..
The trip was great. We drank quite a bit of wine and lazed about in the sun most days. Naps are essential to a good day. Mmmmm naps.
Interestingly, there were less Portuguese people there than one would suspect. I realized it was quite a tourist area (although we were lucky enough to have a villa outside of Albufeira so we avoided most of the crunch), however, I really had forgotten exactly how many English and German people invaded. Holy Hell! Anyone for a proper fry up? EVERY restaurant has a “proper English breakfast” and some have the American version. Tons of English dishes to be had at the restaurants. Now, correct me if I am wrong, but wasn’t I in PORTUGAL? Why the hell would someone (English) want to have their (English) dishes they can get at any old (English) pub? Isn’t the point to experience and enjoy the “native” food? It isn’t like there is a derth of choices in Portugal for food – rabbit, beef, pork, chicken, fish (about a zillion types), shell fish, pasta, baked goods (mmmm yum) all made with actual herbs and spices unlike SOME (English) food. And before Sug starts goin on a rant about fought over real estate being valuable real estate (extra points if anyone besides Beth gets that reference), ackadak languages, Her Majesty’s Empire and cheap help, I would like to point out that Portuguese food is some seriously good eatin. Unlike the boil it till it’s grey mentatlity one experiences..ahem..elswhere.
I am already missing the herbs and spices used there. Not to be mean to Finland, but..to my Finnish brothas and sistahs..there are more spices than just pepper, salt, and crappy chili powder that has no kick. There is nothing like a garlic ladened proper FULL meat and fat sausage (mmmmmm Portuguese churiço), or mussels in a cataplana, or spit roasted picanha (wikipedia explination for you non portuguese food savy types..Oh and Beth..in case you wanna try it: Picanha Churrascaria – 269 E. Palm Ave in Burbank). Now, before you get your panties in a bunch..I know it is a Brazillian way of making the food. HOWEVER, Brazil was discovered by the Portuguese in 1500 (Pedro Álvares Cabral)- pay no attention to the indigenous people folks – they didn’t have a flag and even Beth knows what happens when you don’t have a flag. So, Brazilian food is Portuguese food. And I am also the queen of the universe. Don’t tempt me to smite you.
I should say this though. God love the English, and Germans for bringing a decent beer to the Algarve. I can’t STAND the piss they try to pass off as beer! We drank (not including those bottles at restaurants) 35 bottles of wine during the week. By Friday, I was so jonesin for a beer it wasn’t even funny. I was NOT going to dring Sagres and the “Super Bock” concoction they try to pass off as beer makes me wanna hurl. All hale the E.S.B! Oh and I can’t leave out the Irish..:Guiness is the nectar of the gods.
All in all it was a great trip…we left there with 1 more large suitcase than we arrived with. We have priorities here..had to have space for the wine and Cachaça. I won’t bore you with the details of how brown I am or how rested I became. Love Portugal..land of my heart..
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Vroom vroom vroom
Reacap: Motorcycle gathering was pretty damned good. Cold as $h!t in the tent at night though. Crowning moments: 1.) 4 ladies packed evening dresses in their saddle bags and wore them on Saturday night and 2.) watching an 8 month pregnant lady riding a motorcycle. Weather was great..no rain! Not so cool item: I think I caught a cold. Either got it from my friend Tii, or from shivering my arse off in a tent..either way..don’t feel so good right now. I thought it was my allergies when I woke up this morning. Sadly, it does not appear I am that lucky.
This suxors. I am leaving for a week in Portugal (the Algarve) on Saturday morning at 08:15 with Mira, Satu and Kati. Hopefully this doesn’t linger and goes away soon. I really don’t want to be sick on my holiday..however, there is nothing I can do but medicate and rest and see what happens. My friend Amanda advocates a stiff hot toddy and a good night of rest. I may just take her up on that suggestion.
I was supposed to be sitting the exam for my ISEB Practitioner Certificate today. Project’s too crazy, so I can’t. Had my attendance moved to the next exam in the autum. On the good side it gives me more time to study. On the bad side it gives me more time to stress. I am a horrible test-taker folks. My mind goes completely blank and I freeze. I could know the material cold, but put me in an exam situation and I am a drooling idiot.
On a surprisingly maliciously happy note, my PM has to do my job when I am on vacation. Small joys.
This suxors. I am leaving for a week in Portugal (the Algarve) on Saturday morning at 08:15 with Mira, Satu and Kati. Hopefully this doesn’t linger and goes away soon. I really don’t want to be sick on my holiday..however, there is nothing I can do but medicate and rest and see what happens. My friend Amanda advocates a stiff hot toddy and a good night of rest. I may just take her up on that suggestion.
I was supposed to be sitting the exam for my ISEB Practitioner Certificate today. Project’s too crazy, so I can’t. Had my attendance moved to the next exam in the autum. On the good side it gives me more time to study. On the bad side it gives me more time to stress. I am a horrible test-taker folks. My mind goes completely blank and I freeze. I could know the material cold, but put me in an exam situation and I am a drooling idiot.
On a surprisingly maliciously happy note, my PM has to do my job when I am on vacation. Small joys.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
La la la la la Jesse's Girl....
Okay, so I deluded myself yesterday. A common occurrence, but this time I hit the mother load of denial and deliberate delusion. For years my best friend has relentlessly and ruthlessly - alright not so ruthless as she is a mushball with a finely crafted illusion of toughness - serenaded me, in her fine warbling voice, with strains of "Jesse's Girl" because she seems to be under the impression that 1 photo I mistakenly showed her of me remained her of Rick - frickin-Springfield.
For years, I thought she was severely in need of medication. Okay she IS in need of medication for other various reasons, but this one was the Big Kahuna. How can one defend HERSELF when she is being told she looks like an 80's MALE soap opera star cum singer? I had nuthin. My brain seized every time she would belt out the chorus at me. My brain's ability to generate any kind of snarky response was instantaneously thwarted by the cryptonite contained in the simple words of: "You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl. I wish that I had Jessie's girl.." It was like some sick cosmic force just clamped my mouth shut and only allowed my brain to perfom the basic -keep your body alive-functions. Our usual quick and witty banter was reduced to me being practically apoplectic and doing the thorazine shuffle all at the same time.
Well, as some of you know, I cut my hair completely off soon after moving to Finland. Beth has some long hippy flowerchild thick blonde hair (damn her!) and I had long,dark, not so thick -and liberally dusted with white (including the Cruella DeVille streak in the front) hair. Ponytails and baseball caps in the summer just to keep my body from getting overheated was a common occurance. Beth washes her hair and it takes a frickin whole day (and sometimes more) to even get REMOTELY dry. Hair to your ass has that unfortunate side effect.
So I decided recently that I would forgo the buzzer and actually let my hair grow back a bit. Call me crazy, but I sort of missed the weight of it. Anywhozywhatsit, even though I am growing it back, it is still required to visit the hairdresser to get it trimmed so that I don't end up with a photo on the mullet website. Yesterday I went. I even had most of the white dyed out but kept the DeVille streak because, frankly, it is cool and what's more I LIKE it. The hairdresser proceeds to do a fabulous job and then blow it dry all poofy like. If you know me, poofy hair on me went out in the 80's--along with the Aquanet hairspray, pegged jeans, Champion sweatshirt and penny loafers. When I looked in the mirror I just smiled. Not out of politeness, but just because I couldn't believe what I saw. I was transported back in time to when every girl wanted the Dorothy Hammel. I am not kidding. I can still remember my Dorothy Hammel skating doll. Any cracks about that folks and you will have stumps for limbs. There was NOTHING wrong with having a Dorothy Hammel doll (sort of in the tradition of the Barbie but she was on her skates and stood in this lovely stand)..
I was so impressed that I looked like her that I even emailed K and told her so. I was all about the haircut. Fastforward to this morning after taking the time to blow dry the hair and put some product in it, I promptly slammed my motorcycle helmet on my head and went to work. Remove Helmet and BAM.....LALALALALALA Jesse's Girl...... DAMN YOU SUG!! You are 10 bizillion miles and 345626 timezones away and you STILL got me to suffer apoplexy!!!
For years, I thought she was severely in need of medication. Okay she IS in need of medication for other various reasons, but this one was the Big Kahuna. How can one defend HERSELF when she is being told she looks like an 80's MALE soap opera star cum singer? I had nuthin. My brain seized every time she would belt out the chorus at me. My brain's ability to generate any kind of snarky response was instantaneously thwarted by the cryptonite contained in the simple words of: "You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl. I wish that I had Jessie's girl.." It was like some sick cosmic force just clamped my mouth shut and only allowed my brain to perfom the basic -keep your body alive-functions. Our usual quick and witty banter was reduced to me being practically apoplectic and doing the thorazine shuffle all at the same time.
Well, as some of you know, I cut my hair completely off soon after moving to Finland. Beth has some long hippy flowerchild thick blonde hair (damn her!) and I had long,dark, not so thick -and liberally dusted with white (including the Cruella DeVille streak in the front) hair. Ponytails and baseball caps in the summer just to keep my body from getting overheated was a common occurance. Beth washes her hair and it takes a frickin whole day (and sometimes more) to even get REMOTELY dry. Hair to your ass has that unfortunate side effect.
So I decided recently that I would forgo the buzzer and actually let my hair grow back a bit. Call me crazy, but I sort of missed the weight of it. Anywhozywhatsit, even though I am growing it back, it is still required to visit the hairdresser to get it trimmed so that I don't end up with a photo on the mullet website. Yesterday I went. I even had most of the white dyed out but kept the DeVille streak because, frankly, it is cool and what's more I LIKE it. The hairdresser proceeds to do a fabulous job and then blow it dry all poofy like. If you know me, poofy hair on me went out in the 80's--along with the Aquanet hairspray, pegged jeans, Champion sweatshirt and penny loafers. When I looked in the mirror I just smiled. Not out of politeness, but just because I couldn't believe what I saw. I was transported back in time to when every girl wanted the Dorothy Hammel. I am not kidding. I can still remember my Dorothy Hammel skating doll. Any cracks about that folks and you will have stumps for limbs. There was NOTHING wrong with having a Dorothy Hammel doll (sort of in the tradition of the Barbie but she was on her skates and stood in this lovely stand)..
I was so impressed that I looked like her that I even emailed K and told her so. I was all about the haircut. Fastforward to this morning after taking the time to blow dry the hair and put some product in it, I promptly slammed my motorcycle helmet on my head and went to work. Remove Helmet and BAM.....LALALALALALA Jesse's Girl...... DAMN YOU SUG!! You are 10 bizillion miles and 345626 timezones away and you STILL got me to suffer apoplexy!!!
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Stuff
Idiotic doctors went and punctured my aunt's colon during a routine colonoscopy..bastids. She ended up in emergency surgery to repair the additional hole they created in her bum.. Dad and Peg are driving to Maine to see her...
My namesake (cousin Stephanie) graduated from High School today... WOW do I feel old. I remember when she was born and her dad (my Dad's nephew) told me that he and his wife were naming her after me.. I was so honored.. She was an adorable baby...
Getting ready for a women's motorcycle gathering next weekend..should be fun. I also have to pack for Portugal when I return from the biker thing. Not to mention we need to paint the doors in the house the night before we leave... the strength of the odor from the paint will be too strong for us to sleep here then, so we are staying at Satu's and then all going to the airport for our 08:15 flight...yay Portugal - sun, terraces, sangria, wine shops, great food. I am being Julie the Cruise Director on this trip (K: I will try to do you proud)..and also the translator... 3 Fins and an Americanized Portuguese woman are decending upon the Algarve for a week of relaxation... We have rented a Villa from a lovely German couple and have our own private terrace and there is a giant pool and it is 10 minutes from Albufeira :) Beach restaurants and afternoon siesta..heaven on earth...
My namesake (cousin Stephanie) graduated from High School today... WOW do I feel old. I remember when she was born and her dad (my Dad's nephew) told me that he and his wife were naming her after me.. I was so honored.. She was an adorable baby...
Getting ready for a women's motorcycle gathering next weekend..should be fun. I also have to pack for Portugal when I return from the biker thing. Not to mention we need to paint the doors in the house the night before we leave... the strength of the odor from the paint will be too strong for us to sleep here then, so we are staying at Satu's and then all going to the airport for our 08:15 flight...yay Portugal - sun, terraces, sangria, wine shops, great food. I am being Julie the Cruise Director on this trip (K: I will try to do you proud)..and also the translator... 3 Fins and an Americanized Portuguese woman are decending upon the Algarve for a week of relaxation... We have rented a Villa from a lovely German couple and have our own private terrace and there is a giant pool and it is 10 minutes from Albufeira :) Beach restaurants and afternoon siesta..heaven on earth...
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
"Paying your ass blue"
That is something Hank called what you do when you lose or have your wallet stolen and have to replace everything in it... Well I didn't pay it blue..but more of an aquamarine... I had to pay the 50€ for a duplicate license, 10€ for the temporary one incase the coppers stop me while my dup is being made - I don't look like a raving lunatic axe murderer like Hank, but I didn't want the 35€ fine if they stopped me and I didn't have it - 12€ to the credit people for canceling my cards so they wouldn't be used.. A new travel card would cost 8€, and a new Kela card too..and a new travel insurance card... yaddayaddayadda
..Payed all that money to have my wallet delivered in the post... Seriously. It was found in a trash can and sent to me...with everything in it.. Mom obviously gave me some luck... including at the Roulette table... I hit twice :)
.....
..Payed all that money to have my wallet delivered in the post... Seriously. It was found in a trash can and sent to me...with everything in it.. Mom obviously gave me some luck... including at the Roulette table... I hit twice :)
.....
The Visit...
..has come to a close. After being awake for 36 hours, and flying across multiple timezones, my mom and sister arrived in Helsinki…I will try not to rehash the whole turist portion of the visit (places and stuff), but I will give a few highlights and opinions:
- Grand Casino Dinner Show – Mom loved it and even got a photo with her and Mr. Rönning for her birthday – to which she promptly remarked as he walked away: “oooh..he smelled GOOD!!!”…He then found us in the casino 5 minutes later and gave Mom an autographed photo with his best wishes for her birthday - very classy of him…and she said he still smelled good. Note: Nina Tapio is a hottie..oh and she sings well too ;)
- Harbor Cruise – sister almost puked after I told her she had just eaten smoked reindeer – Mom laughed to hard she almost peed herself – quality.
- Porvoo – not the easiest place when you’re in a wheelchair but wonderful to see mom with powdered sugar on her cheek from eating a pastry and laughing.
- New Card Game (Riisti Seiska) – addictive to Mom and the sister…45624352 games later they still wanted to play more
- Kauppatori – kitch kitch kitch…of which my sister bought plenty…and mom none.
- Eurovision – Finland WON (hell HAS frozen over) and my Mom was proud :) I think she is secretly Finnish…
- Ratty T-shirts and ripped jeans with disgustingly dirty sneakers is NOT appropriate dinner attire for Saaga..
- Talking with your mouth full of food is gross…and when Mom tells you to stop; you should, or I will kick you.
- Priceless: Mom carrying around 6 grand because she wasn’t sure how much she was gonna need and then forcing 50 euro and 100 euro notes into my hand to help with “paying for parking” (the 3 euros I put in the parking meter was plenty thank you)...all the while my sister is jealously and greedily watching the money change hands. I had to take it even though I protested for 10 minutes that I didn’t want it..when mom says your name a specific way and gives you the “look”..you are instantly no longer in your mid 30’s..you are 12, quietly mumble “yes ma’am” and take the money.
I will admit to crying when my I wheeled my Mom to the gate at the airport and said goodbye. I will also admit to wanting to throttle my sister within an inch of her life for patronizing my mother so much it made me physically ill. Just because mom needs a wheelchair to get around does not mean she is a baby or has lost her faculties damn it. My mother is a very proud woman. She hates being a “burden” to anyone; so the mobility issues she has now which require a wheelchair is quite depressing for her. It also doesn’t help that my sister treats her like she is 2 frickin years old…GRRRRRRR I did discover where I get the ability to get quiet for periods of time and not say anything though. No jokes people..Ask Mira. Seriously, my Mom and I are able to sit together and not say anything and it not be uncomfortable…sister..not so much.
Anywho..I loved that my Mom was here and I am sad she is back in the States…she could have stayed on for a month and I would have been over the moon. Mom is so easy to please. She is quieter now than I remember, but still feisty at times. She was open to trying anything…food, place, experience..I LOVE that about her. I also love having my mom around…not so much on the sibling (in case you didn’t figure that out already).
- Grand Casino Dinner Show – Mom loved it and even got a photo with her and Mr. Rönning for her birthday – to which she promptly remarked as he walked away: “oooh..he smelled GOOD!!!”…He then found us in the casino 5 minutes later and gave Mom an autographed photo with his best wishes for her birthday - very classy of him…and she said he still smelled good. Note: Nina Tapio is a hottie..oh and she sings well too ;)
- Harbor Cruise – sister almost puked after I told her she had just eaten smoked reindeer – Mom laughed to hard she almost peed herself – quality.
- Porvoo – not the easiest place when you’re in a wheelchair but wonderful to see mom with powdered sugar on her cheek from eating a pastry and laughing.
- New Card Game (Riisti Seiska) – addictive to Mom and the sister…45624352 games later they still wanted to play more
- Kauppatori – kitch kitch kitch…of which my sister bought plenty…and mom none.
- Eurovision – Finland WON (hell HAS frozen over) and my Mom was proud :) I think she is secretly Finnish…
- Ratty T-shirts and ripped jeans with disgustingly dirty sneakers is NOT appropriate dinner attire for Saaga..
- Talking with your mouth full of food is gross…and when Mom tells you to stop; you should, or I will kick you.
- Priceless: Mom carrying around 6 grand because she wasn’t sure how much she was gonna need and then forcing 50 euro and 100 euro notes into my hand to help with “paying for parking” (the 3 euros I put in the parking meter was plenty thank you)...all the while my sister is jealously and greedily watching the money change hands. I had to take it even though I protested for 10 minutes that I didn’t want it..when mom says your name a specific way and gives you the “look”..you are instantly no longer in your mid 30’s..you are 12, quietly mumble “yes ma’am” and take the money.
I will admit to crying when my I wheeled my Mom to the gate at the airport and said goodbye. I will also admit to wanting to throttle my sister within an inch of her life for patronizing my mother so much it made me physically ill. Just because mom needs a wheelchair to get around does not mean she is a baby or has lost her faculties damn it. My mother is a very proud woman. She hates being a “burden” to anyone; so the mobility issues she has now which require a wheelchair is quite depressing for her. It also doesn’t help that my sister treats her like she is 2 frickin years old…GRRRRRRR I did discover where I get the ability to get quiet for periods of time and not say anything though. No jokes people..Ask Mira. Seriously, my Mom and I are able to sit together and not say anything and it not be uncomfortable…sister..not so much.
Anywho..I loved that my Mom was here and I am sad she is back in the States…she could have stayed on for a month and I would have been over the moon. Mom is so easy to please. She is quieter now than I remember, but still feisty at times. She was open to trying anything…food, place, experience..I LOVE that about her. I also love having my mom around…not so much on the sibling (in case you didn’t figure that out already).
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
TMI - theraputic spewing..all about me.
I am such a jerk. Sometimes I relize what I brat I am. When I moved to Finland, I was happy about not being so damned geographically close to certain members of my family. Let’s face it, I am not the easiest person to get along with occasionally. Growing up the youngest of 4 children had its advantages. For example, I bold faced lied to my mom that I did’t break my brother’s guitar: “I am too short to reach it, how could it have been me?” I was always the little one (am not the shortest anymore though). My papa called me “peanut”. Which was a shortened version of what he originally called me: “pint of peanuts” because I was so small and skinny. I had stick legs with knobby knees and skinny little arms and a flat belly. Of course, running around like a maniac didn’t hurt to keep the fat off. Oh how I wish I still had that energy.
Right, where was I…oh yeah.: So a history. I have 2 older brothers and and older sister. Mom and Dad were good Catholics and popped out us brats very very close together. There are 16 months separating my oldest brother Roger and my sister Michelle and then 16 months separating my brother William and myself. I am not trying to be a bitch here, but to be honest – Roger and I are gifted. We always have been. We both actually had the problem where we had to take advanced classes and in some cases university level courses during our pre-university schooling because we weren’t challenged enough. The geek lable came early for us folks. It isn’t something we asked for, it just was. Languages, humanities and the like come easy and in my brother’s case, he is freakishly smart with science and math. My other siblings were, unfortunately, not as gifted academically. I say unfortunately because my father and mother put a very heavy emphasis on education and in some cases they put too much pressure on us. There came a time where they finally accepted that William and Michelle were gifted in other ways, but not in the way that made school easy for them.
The pressure to succeed academically was heinous for me. My oldest brother is a certified genius. No joke. He is a freak of nature (in a good way). He thinks in levels that I am just not wired to be able to understand. As a result, Mr. Brain would come home with greater than a 4.0 average (for you Finn’s he got higher than 10’s), be captain of the debate team, in the drama club, Mensa, French National Honour Society, yadda yadda yadda. So the comparison was inevitable.
As a result of all of the pressure my brother felt (or if it is just his wiring), he is one of the most emotionally reserved people I know. He does not form emotional attachments very easily. He is a good person, but just aloof. He doesn’t call family members, shuns family gatherings, and even “forgets” to call my Dad on his birthday or Father’s Day. How much of this is active resentment I have no idea. It was as if everything was reversed. He would be praised for being so gifted and I would have pressure to step up to his level. Now I was, selfishly, reveling in his distance. I became the kid who was always there to help, at every family gathering, remembering EVERYONE’s birthdays with cards and a small gift; always THERE. It isn’t that I did these things JUST to usurp his place as Mr. Perfect. I genuinely love my family. But sometimes I would do things out of purely selfish motives and not because I really wanted to. Looking back, it doesn’t feel so good to have been that shallow.
Anyway, at some point, my selfish reasons no longer existed. I really, genuinely enjoy being there for my family. It was as I entered my late 20’s early 30’s that I really began to realize that I had sort of backed myself into a corner in some ways. As much as I truly loved seeing my Papa every other week for dinner, it became increasingly easy for certain people (my step mom) to guilt me into doing things I really didn’t want to do. It is a character weakness in myself I realize, but she is the world’s BEST at guilt trips. My happiness at seeing my Papa for dinner became a bit soured with the guilt trips I would receive if I had to cancel. It became assumed that I am the good child – where my brother didn’t call, I would call 3 times a week. Where my brother didn’t visit, I would be there twice a month. When their wedding anniversary came around (right before I moved), I was the one that planned the 200 person party – complete with the Priest that married them.
After moving, I was relieved to not have those “responsibilities” any longer. I was happy to be able to call them once a week or have them call me. The pressure (mostly self-induced but not wholely) was off. I do miss them – terribly. But the distance has been healthy for me.
Que the Guilt:
Yesterday I got an email, after my Step-Mom tried to call me twice, stating that my Dad is in the hospital with a rather dangerous infection in his leg caused by staph which entered his system somehow. It is an internal infection, so not contagious, but if not treated could have been life threatening. He loathes doctors in all forms – just like me. I learned that behaviour from him. He insisted he was fine but after a few visits to the ER, they admitted him. He is going to be OK as far as we can tell, but it still worries me. I know his infection is being treated, and that he is getting great care, but I am afraid he won’t follow the Dr’s instructions. I called him immediately in his hospital room when Peggy sent me the email and told him he would do anything to get out of work! He laughed and I almost cried. I really love my Papa’s laugh. It is deep and from his belly. The kind of laugh that wraps around me and makes me feel safe. He is required to be off his leg for 2 weeks. The Dr told him and he said to me: “I am think it is a bit extreme for me to be out of work for 2 weeks.” ---let’s just hope he doesn’t end up back in the hospital…
I feel so damned guilty for not being there and am worried about my Papa. I am the only child that calls regularly and that really takes an active interest in their lives. It makes me so sad that their other children are just checked out.
…right enough whining
Right, where was I…oh yeah.: So a history. I have 2 older brothers and and older sister. Mom and Dad were good Catholics and popped out us brats very very close together. There are 16 months separating my oldest brother Roger and my sister Michelle and then 16 months separating my brother William and myself. I am not trying to be a bitch here, but to be honest – Roger and I are gifted. We always have been. We both actually had the problem where we had to take advanced classes and in some cases university level courses during our pre-university schooling because we weren’t challenged enough. The geek lable came early for us folks. It isn’t something we asked for, it just was. Languages, humanities and the like come easy and in my brother’s case, he is freakishly smart with science and math. My other siblings were, unfortunately, not as gifted academically. I say unfortunately because my father and mother put a very heavy emphasis on education and in some cases they put too much pressure on us. There came a time where they finally accepted that William and Michelle were gifted in other ways, but not in the way that made school easy for them.
The pressure to succeed academically was heinous for me. My oldest brother is a certified genius. No joke. He is a freak of nature (in a good way). He thinks in levels that I am just not wired to be able to understand. As a result, Mr. Brain would come home with greater than a 4.0 average (for you Finn’s he got higher than 10’s), be captain of the debate team, in the drama club, Mensa, French National Honour Society, yadda yadda yadda. So the comparison was inevitable.
As a result of all of the pressure my brother felt (or if it is just his wiring), he is one of the most emotionally reserved people I know. He does not form emotional attachments very easily. He is a good person, but just aloof. He doesn’t call family members, shuns family gatherings, and even “forgets” to call my Dad on his birthday or Father’s Day. How much of this is active resentment I have no idea. It was as if everything was reversed. He would be praised for being so gifted and I would have pressure to step up to his level. Now I was, selfishly, reveling in his distance. I became the kid who was always there to help, at every family gathering, remembering EVERYONE’s birthdays with cards and a small gift; always THERE. It isn’t that I did these things JUST to usurp his place as Mr. Perfect. I genuinely love my family. But sometimes I would do things out of purely selfish motives and not because I really wanted to. Looking back, it doesn’t feel so good to have been that shallow.
Anyway, at some point, my selfish reasons no longer existed. I really, genuinely enjoy being there for my family. It was as I entered my late 20’s early 30’s that I really began to realize that I had sort of backed myself into a corner in some ways. As much as I truly loved seeing my Papa every other week for dinner, it became increasingly easy for certain people (my step mom) to guilt me into doing things I really didn’t want to do. It is a character weakness in myself I realize, but she is the world’s BEST at guilt trips. My happiness at seeing my Papa for dinner became a bit soured with the guilt trips I would receive if I had to cancel. It became assumed that I am the good child – where my brother didn’t call, I would call 3 times a week. Where my brother didn’t visit, I would be there twice a month. When their wedding anniversary came around (right before I moved), I was the one that planned the 200 person party – complete with the Priest that married them.
After moving, I was relieved to not have those “responsibilities” any longer. I was happy to be able to call them once a week or have them call me. The pressure (mostly self-induced but not wholely) was off. I do miss them – terribly. But the distance has been healthy for me.
Que the Guilt:
Yesterday I got an email, after my Step-Mom tried to call me twice, stating that my Dad is in the hospital with a rather dangerous infection in his leg caused by staph which entered his system somehow. It is an internal infection, so not contagious, but if not treated could have been life threatening. He loathes doctors in all forms – just like me. I learned that behaviour from him. He insisted he was fine but after a few visits to the ER, they admitted him. He is going to be OK as far as we can tell, but it still worries me. I know his infection is being treated, and that he is getting great care, but I am afraid he won’t follow the Dr’s instructions. I called him immediately in his hospital room when Peggy sent me the email and told him he would do anything to get out of work! He laughed and I almost cried. I really love my Papa’s laugh. It is deep and from his belly. The kind of laugh that wraps around me and makes me feel safe. He is required to be off his leg for 2 weeks. The Dr told him and he said to me: “I am think it is a bit extreme for me to be out of work for 2 weeks.” ---let’s just hope he doesn’t end up back in the hospital…
I feel so damned guilty for not being there and am worried about my Papa. I am the only child that calls regularly and that really takes an active interest in their lives. It makes me so sad that their other children are just checked out.
…right enough whining
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Karma
I don't know if I killed a nun or kicked a puppy in a former life, however, if there is such a thing as Karma, it just bit me in my abundant gluteus maximus. Yesterday was the day from hell. Not only did I have meetings continuously (to the point where I actually was 5 minutes late for one and had to explain my tardiness because of having to pee - lemme tell ya my PM turned red at that one..hey that is what you get for asking why after I apologized for being 5 fucking minutes late) - my wallet was stolen from my backpack on my way home. Some enterprising and obviously very talented pickpocket removed it from the outside pocket of my backpack somewhere between the main trainstation and home.
I didn't realize it was gone until I arrived at a bus stop and tried to retrieve it (my travel pass was in it) in order to pay the bus fare. I proceeded to dump the entire contents on the bus stop bench (freshly wrapped salmon from the store as well) and frantically search for it...all the while my blood pressure is rising, my heart rate speeding up and my stomach going into a knot that would make a sailor proud. After searching for a good 10 minutes...nada.
Arrive home via tram (thankfully you can buy tickets with your mobile phone here for the tram) and walk through the door. Mira comes happily bounding around the corner to give me a hug and pusu hello with a big smile on her face (it is adorable..she does it every day and it usually makes me smile) when she notices the grey color of my skin and the redness to my eyes which signals eminent tears and stops dead in her tracks. She asks what's wrong and I tell her. She then asks me calmly to retrace my steps in my head and tell her where I was and what I did and also to dump the backpack contents on the bed (luckily the salmon was well wrapped).... Nada again...
So..after inventorying my wallet (what I remember was in it), calls to the bank to cancel my cards, the police to file a police report we finally started dinner.
Karma just gave me no Finnish id, and no bank card, no travel card, no travel insurance card, no web bank codes..... BASTARDS!!!!! The only saving grace of this whole thing (and it is ironic too) is that I am as poor as a church mouse right now and the 1 credit card I have here was actually in my pocket due to using it to pay for the dinner fixings...
We then decided it was time to break into the Moët & Chandon and celebrate that it could have been worse...
So today it is off to the bank with my passport (luckily that was at home) to get them to send me a new web bank code card, then to the police station to get a new license ordered...meetings be damned!
I didn't realize it was gone until I arrived at a bus stop and tried to retrieve it (my travel pass was in it) in order to pay the bus fare. I proceeded to dump the entire contents on the bus stop bench (freshly wrapped salmon from the store as well) and frantically search for it...all the while my blood pressure is rising, my heart rate speeding up and my stomach going into a knot that would make a sailor proud. After searching for a good 10 minutes...nada.
Arrive home via tram (thankfully you can buy tickets with your mobile phone here for the tram) and walk through the door. Mira comes happily bounding around the corner to give me a hug and pusu hello with a big smile on her face (it is adorable..she does it every day and it usually makes me smile) when she notices the grey color of my skin and the redness to my eyes which signals eminent tears and stops dead in her tracks. She asks what's wrong and I tell her. She then asks me calmly to retrace my steps in my head and tell her where I was and what I did and also to dump the backpack contents on the bed (luckily the salmon was well wrapped).... Nada again...
So..after inventorying my wallet (what I remember was in it), calls to the bank to cancel my cards, the police to file a police report we finally started dinner.
Karma just gave me no Finnish id, and no bank card, no travel card, no travel insurance card, no web bank codes..... BASTARDS!!!!! The only saving grace of this whole thing (and it is ironic too) is that I am as poor as a church mouse right now and the 1 credit card I have here was actually in my pocket due to using it to pay for the dinner fixings...
We then decided it was time to break into the Moët & Chandon and celebrate that it could have been worse...
So today it is off to the bank with my passport (luckily that was at home) to get them to send me a new web bank code card, then to the police station to get a new license ordered...meetings be damned!
Monday, May 01, 2006
Shoot me
Okay...04:35 am and we just got home.... Too much alcohol... Folks...my inner kareoke singer came out... Holy hell.. I just sang "Don't let the sun go down on me" in a giant gay bar...
does this mean I have reached rock bottom and require an intervention....Sug? K?...anyone???? Seriously...450 gay men were applauding and telling me how wonderful I am..there is something seriously wrong with this picture....
...right...off to brush my teeth and sleep.... oh and the sun is coming up...
does this mean I have reached rock bottom and require an intervention....Sug? K?...anyone???? Seriously...450 gay men were applauding and telling me how wonderful I am..there is something seriously wrong with this picture....
...right...off to brush my teeth and sleep.... oh and the sun is coming up...
Friday, April 28, 2006
Vappu
Vappu, closest translation in english Labor Day, is the day when the whole of Finland is drunk...I mean really drunk, everyone drinks until (s)he runs out of money or is unable to swallow. And there's some kind of holiday on 1st of May too. (thankfully mom isn't visiting until the 16th :) )
This weekend is bound to be filled with drunken debauchery. Not that I would participate. I am not like that. I will sit sedately home and have a knitting circle. ---NOT---
So this weekend is filled with drinking, balloons, public displays of affection (which is really not common here in Finland) and then more drinking. It also marks the unofficial start of Spring. Layers of clothes are pealed off (despite the weather..and it has been known to snow on Vappu) and silly behaviour is abundant. Okay..sounds like a typical weekend for me..minus the balloons...
Not only is it Vappu, but the Grey Bullet has been liberated from storage. Yes folks, the Black Widow (all 750 cc's of her) has been officially put in to use for the next 6 months. She is just as beautiful as I remember and I have smiled from ear to ear today driving to work...
So..Hauskaa Vappua everyone!!!
This weekend is bound to be filled with drunken debauchery. Not that I would participate. I am not like that. I will sit sedately home and have a knitting circle. ---NOT---
So this weekend is filled with drinking, balloons, public displays of affection (which is really not common here in Finland) and then more drinking. It also marks the unofficial start of Spring. Layers of clothes are pealed off (despite the weather..and it has been known to snow on Vappu) and silly behaviour is abundant. Okay..sounds like a typical weekend for me..minus the balloons...
Not only is it Vappu, but the Grey Bullet has been liberated from storage. Yes folks, the Black Widow (all 750 cc's of her) has been officially put in to use for the next 6 months. She is just as beautiful as I remember and I have smiled from ear to ear today driving to work...
So..Hauskaa Vappua everyone!!!
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Dr. Angelou...
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them T
hey say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing I
t ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them T
hey say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing I
t ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Ammunition
Right. I have a guest coming to visit with her little boy tomorrow. As most of my friends know, if you come to visit and there is even ONE thing out of place I am all an apoplextic apologetic neurotic freakish person (thanks to a nurse for a Mom - germaphobic to the extreme, and a neurotic Stepmom - cleans before the cleaner comes to clean) who continually says "Sorry for the mess...Oh my, I am so embarrassed!." I constantly fuss and jump up from my seat to make sure everyone has something to eat or drink or whatever. Mira has devised a way of getting me to stop and realize what I am doing. Example:
Steph: "Would you like some more wine?"
Mira: "Kulta.."
Steph: "Is the food OK?"
Mira: "Kul.."
Steph: "I can run across to the store and just pick up something else if you want.."
Mira: "Hei.."
Steph: "Would you like some more wine?
Mira: "Ste.."
Steph: "Did I already ask that?...How about a beer?"
Mira: "Enough PEGGY!!"
...instant silence from me..... Seriously. It drives me nuts when my Stepmom does the fussing thing. I always thought I was much more calm than that. Holy hell how we learn to adapt and adpot the behaviours around us... I have ammunition now though now on the cleaning thing.. (thanks Hale)
Rules of Housekeeping
1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.
2. Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the area under the couch "The Galapagos Islands" and claim an ecological exemption.
3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.
4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your spouse points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"
5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say this.
6. Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing handsewn play animals for underprivileged children.
7. If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."
8. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..."
9. Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, "Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident... I haven't had the heart to clean it..."
10. Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere..."
Steph: "Would you like some more wine?"
Mira: "Kulta.."
Steph: "Is the food OK?"
Mira: "Kul.."
Steph: "I can run across to the store and just pick up something else if you want.."
Mira: "Hei.."
Steph: "Would you like some more wine?
Mira: "Ste.."
Steph: "Did I already ask that?...How about a beer?"
Mira: "Enough PEGGY!!"
...instant silence from me..... Seriously. It drives me nuts when my Stepmom does the fussing thing. I always thought I was much more calm than that. Holy hell how we learn to adapt and adpot the behaviours around us... I have ammunition now though now on the cleaning thing.. (thanks Hale)
Rules of Housekeeping
1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.
2. Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the area under the couch "The Galapagos Islands" and claim an ecological exemption.
3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.
4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your spouse points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"
5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say this.
6. Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing handsewn play animals for underprivileged children.
7. If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."
8. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..."
9. Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, "Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident... I haven't had the heart to clean it..."
10. Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere..."
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
For Titi
Reflection. Sometimes re-examining one’s life can lead to opening memory boxes best left closed. But occasionally, a beautiful light emerges and one is reminded of all things good in this world and their life.
My uncle Tomas was closest in age to my Mom. He was a shining individual whose personal truth, unfortunately, was never revealed to those around him. As a small child, I used to marvel at all of the pretty medals on his chest and how handsome he looked in his shiny uniform. He is the one who named me Honeychild and the only person, to this day, who could and will ever be allowed to call me that. I asked him once when I was older why he named me such and he explained that when I was small (memory of being small is a fleeting thing for me), I would run with wild abandon in my little blue and orange swimming suit, barefoot and laughing, through the courtyards and streets of our neighborhood while the sun colored my skin the color of rich honey and then as the summer extended, to a mahogany-like shade of brown. He swore that no other child laughed or worshiped the sun as much as I did. Titi Tomas was my hero. Not because of the medals on his chest which he never explained to me, but because he never tried to bottle my energy by telling me that children should not ask questions or that I should wear the dress that my mother laid out for me and to respect my elders. He let me be me. He let my little bare feet slap against the cobble stones right beside his large bare feet smiling at the sound of my laughter and encouraging me to laugh more. These are the memories I cherish. So few are left of him from my childhood, that when one bubbles up from the safety of its warm and soft place, I like to cling to it and hold it where I can quietly relive the joy of him. It came to me later in life why I feel we had such a bond. I believe my uncle always knew I was like him. Different. And in being different he knew somewhat the pain and difficulty I would face later in my life. His unconditional love is something I will always count as one of my greatest blessings.
Why am I sharing this? Well because today is his birthday and on this day I am always reminded of him. The wonderful memories of his smile and the way only he could get me to laugh and the way we would laugh together. I am reminded of the last words he said to me as the disease he contracted was taking his life and his light from my every day world: “Honeychild, I love you. Life is meant to be lived so when I am gone just do one thing for me. Remember to laugh.” So it is with a profound joy that I would like to tell my uncle Tommy Te amo, wherever he is, and Happy Birthday. I am honored to have had him grace my life for as long as he did. The 11 year anniversary of his death from AIDS is in October.
I will be back to my snarky posting self shortly, but for right now I am going to allow myself to be wrapped in the warm and soft love that made me Honeychild.
My uncle Tomas was closest in age to my Mom. He was a shining individual whose personal truth, unfortunately, was never revealed to those around him. As a small child, I used to marvel at all of the pretty medals on his chest and how handsome he looked in his shiny uniform. He is the one who named me Honeychild and the only person, to this day, who could and will ever be allowed to call me that. I asked him once when I was older why he named me such and he explained that when I was small (memory of being small is a fleeting thing for me), I would run with wild abandon in my little blue and orange swimming suit, barefoot and laughing, through the courtyards and streets of our neighborhood while the sun colored my skin the color of rich honey and then as the summer extended, to a mahogany-like shade of brown. He swore that no other child laughed or worshiped the sun as much as I did. Titi Tomas was my hero. Not because of the medals on his chest which he never explained to me, but because he never tried to bottle my energy by telling me that children should not ask questions or that I should wear the dress that my mother laid out for me and to respect my elders. He let me be me. He let my little bare feet slap against the cobble stones right beside his large bare feet smiling at the sound of my laughter and encouraging me to laugh more. These are the memories I cherish. So few are left of him from my childhood, that when one bubbles up from the safety of its warm and soft place, I like to cling to it and hold it where I can quietly relive the joy of him. It came to me later in life why I feel we had such a bond. I believe my uncle always knew I was like him. Different. And in being different he knew somewhat the pain and difficulty I would face later in my life. His unconditional love is something I will always count as one of my greatest blessings.
Why am I sharing this? Well because today is his birthday and on this day I am always reminded of him. The wonderful memories of his smile and the way only he could get me to laugh and the way we would laugh together. I am reminded of the last words he said to me as the disease he contracted was taking his life and his light from my every day world: “Honeychild, I love you. Life is meant to be lived so when I am gone just do one thing for me. Remember to laugh.” So it is with a profound joy that I would like to tell my uncle Tommy Te amo, wherever he is, and Happy Birthday. I am honored to have had him grace my life for as long as he did. The 11 year anniversary of his death from AIDS is in October.
I will be back to my snarky posting self shortly, but for right now I am going to allow myself to be wrapped in the warm and soft love that made me Honeychild.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Rocking Friends..
Right..so my previous post was a bit of a pity party I know. I am over it. Hale commented on how people get confused by her gender or that she is a racist skin head. Anzi said that they were dumbasses...
I have no idea how someone can be confused by Hale's gender. She is tall, willowy and OBVIOUSLY a woman - shaved head or not. OH..and a hottie :)
So..my personal pity party extended to this morning..right up to the point where I called Beth. My bestfriend ROCKS my world. I call her feeling all "i need my sug and she is 10,000 miles away" and after my obligatory opening of: "Duuuuuuuude..Suga!" and her telling me how awesome it was that I called (instantly made me smile from ear to ear) she IMMEDIATELY says: "Okay..it is physics..for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction..Same thing with us. For every amazingly world class cool person like us there is an equaly huge retard in the world. And you can be on my kick ball team any time." Ya know what?...She is right. There has to be a balance...
My friends are the coolest people on the planet. Absolutely amazingly smart, insightful, totally hot and damn it, just THAT funny. So this is a shout out to all my rockin friends who are doing their part in keeping the balance. Which in and of itself is kind of frightening. Frightening you ask? Yes. Because the amount of totally rockin friends I have means that there are equally the same number of absolute retards in the world...
R=S+F
H
M= (-H)+(-F)*I
So..if you take R(Rockin-ness) to equal S (smartness) plus F (funniness) devided by H (hotness) then the dumbasses would be M (moron-ness) is equal to -H (negative hotness) plus -F (negative funniness) multiplied by I (idiotness) :)
And who said I am not good at math?..oh me...Well just goes to show I am smarter than I thought :)
I have no idea how someone can be confused by Hale's gender. She is tall, willowy and OBVIOUSLY a woman - shaved head or not. OH..and a hottie :)
So..my personal pity party extended to this morning..right up to the point where I called Beth. My bestfriend ROCKS my world. I call her feeling all "i need my sug and she is 10,000 miles away" and after my obligatory opening of: "Duuuuuuuude..Suga!" and her telling me how awesome it was that I called (instantly made me smile from ear to ear) she IMMEDIATELY says: "Okay..it is physics..for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction..Same thing with us. For every amazingly world class cool person like us there is an equaly huge retard in the world. And you can be on my kick ball team any time." Ya know what?...She is right. There has to be a balance...
My friends are the coolest people on the planet. Absolutely amazingly smart, insightful, totally hot and damn it, just THAT funny. So this is a shout out to all my rockin friends who are doing their part in keeping the balance. Which in and of itself is kind of frightening. Frightening you ask? Yes. Because the amount of totally rockin friends I have means that there are equally the same number of absolute retards in the world...
R=S+F
H
M= (-H)+(-F)*I
So..if you take R(Rockin-ness) to equal S (smartness) plus F (funniness) devided by H (hotness) then the dumbasses would be M (moron-ness) is equal to -H (negative hotness) plus -F (negative funniness) multiplied by I (idiotness) :)
And who said I am not good at math?..oh me...Well just goes to show I am smarter than I thought :)
Monday, April 10, 2006
Sometimes it hurts..
Okay, I am a grown up right? I am no longer the little kid on the playground who talks funny and who has parents that don't hail from Ireland and aren't decendent from the Mayflower folks. I am no longer the skinny (trust me on that one) little nob-kneed short greenhorn who was painfully shy in school when it came to the other kids. I had no problem relating to the teachers and enjoyed my course work (even at 8..geek I know)to the point where I was alienated by my class mates due to some stupid special testing that made it "clear" I was "accelerated" in my learning. Well..I have a frickin freakishly smart older brother who taught me to write cursive on the inside of my metal standing closet with a piece of chalk - at age 7. It isn't my fault I could write properly and was reading actual books (Nancy Drew was my favorite and a trusted friend) at the same age.. I count myself very lucky to have had and still have an older brother who introduced me to the joys of reading...math he still has to convince me is fun...I am well over 30 and he still has yet to accomplish THAT goal. So why does it still hurt when the other "kids" are mean?
I am not an insecure person to the point where other people's opinions of me make me shy and want to hide in that same metal closet with my coveted dog-eared books, lost in my own imagination and silently blessing Millie Benson and her creations. I have, what my Mom would call, blossomed. I don't think I am insecure anyway. Most friends I have seem to find me gregarious (word of the day for you finns who read this) and very open. Frequently I am loud and I laugh an awful lot. Sometimes I can overwhelm people with my energy and I do try to keep that tamed as much as possible. But as K says (and Beth agrees) I am loved in spite of the fact that I am loud and crazy and BECAUSE I am loud and crazy.
To the hurting part... This past Saturday, Mira and I joined 2 other couples (straight ones) for dinner in a small town called Järvenpää outside of Helsinki. We had a rather mediocre dinner at a restaurant which charged way too much for the pleasure and then decided to go out for an after dinner drink. The place we went turned out to be one of the two nightclubs in the town... After yelling over the music to be heard, we all decided to go back to the little Irish Pub we had a pre-dinner drink in earlier so we could all actually 1.) hear properly 2.) have a decent conversation without having to yell. Prior to leaving I needed to visit the ladies room. There was a Ladies, Mens and single separate WC in this bar. There was no line for the single loo so I opted for that one. Unfortunately, there was also no sink in which to wash my hands after tending to mother nature's call so I ducked into the ladies room to accomplish the task. As I am washing my hands, back to the door, a woman walks in and says very loudly so that every woman in there stared at me: "HEI! Tä on NAISTEN vessa!" (Hey!, This is the WOMEN's room!) Part of me wanted to crawl into the previously mentioned metal sanctuary and repeat "there's no place like home..there's no place like home" and part of me wanted to kick her. When I turned and said: "Haista vittu, Mä OON NAINEN" (Fuck You, I AM a WOMAN!) the woman just stared at me and proceeded to give me the longest once over in history and promptly harumphed at me... If it wasn't for the fact that I didn't want to get arrested and thrown out of the country I would have kicked her ass right then and there....
...Little did I know..I went back to the table and Marja (one of my friends) was actually in the ladies room when this all happened. She comes back and sits at the table and says to Mira and I: "Okay, which one of you was it?"... Too frickin funny. She was in a stall and KNEW it had to be Mira or I that was in there to elicit such an outburst from someone. I told her it was me..and she said "Nice use of the Finnish Language hon!".... It was then that we noticed that we were being stared at by people... Not even furtively! Openly hostile expressions on their faces...Apparently I had been oblivious to this happening most of the night until Mira said "you haven't noticed we have been getting stared at the whole time?!!"...Um..er...Princess Percepto..that is me.. NOT!
..it is the First time in Finland I have felt openly not welcome somewhere...just like being picked last for kickball...
I am not an insecure person to the point where other people's opinions of me make me shy and want to hide in that same metal closet with my coveted dog-eared books, lost in my own imagination and silently blessing Millie Benson and her creations. I have, what my Mom would call, blossomed. I don't think I am insecure anyway. Most friends I have seem to find me gregarious (word of the day for you finns who read this) and very open. Frequently I am loud and I laugh an awful lot. Sometimes I can overwhelm people with my energy and I do try to keep that tamed as much as possible. But as K says (and Beth agrees) I am loved in spite of the fact that I am loud and crazy and BECAUSE I am loud and crazy.
To the hurting part... This past Saturday, Mira and I joined 2 other couples (straight ones) for dinner in a small town called Järvenpää outside of Helsinki. We had a rather mediocre dinner at a restaurant which charged way too much for the pleasure and then decided to go out for an after dinner drink. The place we went turned out to be one of the two nightclubs in the town... After yelling over the music to be heard, we all decided to go back to the little Irish Pub we had a pre-dinner drink in earlier so we could all actually 1.) hear properly 2.) have a decent conversation without having to yell. Prior to leaving I needed to visit the ladies room. There was a Ladies, Mens and single separate WC in this bar. There was no line for the single loo so I opted for that one. Unfortunately, there was also no sink in which to wash my hands after tending to mother nature's call so I ducked into the ladies room to accomplish the task. As I am washing my hands, back to the door, a woman walks in and says very loudly so that every woman in there stared at me: "HEI! Tä on NAISTEN vessa!" (Hey!, This is the WOMEN's room!) Part of me wanted to crawl into the previously mentioned metal sanctuary and repeat "there's no place like home..there's no place like home" and part of me wanted to kick her. When I turned and said: "Haista vittu, Mä OON NAINEN" (Fuck You, I AM a WOMAN!) the woman just stared at me and proceeded to give me the longest once over in history and promptly harumphed at me... If it wasn't for the fact that I didn't want to get arrested and thrown out of the country I would have kicked her ass right then and there....
...Little did I know..I went back to the table and Marja (one of my friends) was actually in the ladies room when this all happened. She comes back and sits at the table and says to Mira and I: "Okay, which one of you was it?"... Too frickin funny. She was in a stall and KNEW it had to be Mira or I that was in there to elicit such an outburst from someone. I told her it was me..and she said "Nice use of the Finnish Language hon!".... It was then that we noticed that we were being stared at by people... Not even furtively! Openly hostile expressions on their faces...Apparently I had been oblivious to this happening most of the night until Mira said "you haven't noticed we have been getting stared at the whole time?!!"...Um..er...Princess Percepto..that is me.. NOT!
..it is the First time in Finland I have felt openly not welcome somewhere...just like being picked last for kickball...
Saturday, April 08, 2006
brain...hurts...
Okay whoever came up with the idea of a 4 hour language exam starting at 08:30 on a frickin Saturday morning needs to be slowly roasted over a pit for a few days until crispy...
I think I fell victim to my usual test panic attack. I am a horribl test taker..really..I suck. My palms get all sweaty, my heart races, stomach does flips (which is why I can't eat before a test - bad calculus class experience is enough to convince me never to eat before an exam) and the ultimate...my brain goes completely blank.. I really feel like I did not do well...
..oh the shame...
I think I fell victim to my usual test panic attack. I am a horribl test taker..really..I suck. My palms get all sweaty, my heart races, stomach does flips (which is why I can't eat before a test - bad calculus class experience is enough to convince me never to eat before an exam) and the ultimate...my brain goes completely blank.. I really feel like I did not do well...
..oh the shame...
Monday, April 03, 2006
Step away from the Big-Mac
This is going to be one of those posts that inevitably pisses someone off. Ya know what? I don't give a flying-fuck. I was lamenting in my head today how my creativity has just sputtered and died lately. Usually I read news stories and I get my little brain all charged up, neurons--okay neuron firing away for all it is worth. Lately, nothing has inspired my nasty little unforgiving side into action.
Well folks..that changed. I am reading the web today and I come across an article about car seats and fat kids. The title of the article is "Obese children find it difficult to fit in car-safety seats" NO SHIT SHERLOCK! So then I read the tragic tale of how obese kids can't fit properly into the car seat and run the risk of death and serious injury in car crashes. Damn right they do. Not only do they run the risk of death and injury by the not fitting their asses into the car seats, they run the risk of heart disease, juvenile diabetes, liver problems, kidney problems, breathing problems and fucking death from the size that there stupid over indulging, fat feeding, lazy assed parents have allowed them to become.
Seriously. What parent has the right to complain that little 3 year old and 120 lb Big Mac eating Bobby can't fit into a car seat? Quit feeding the kid nasty crap and get off your lazy ass and encourage the kid to play in an energetic fashion so he doesn't become any bigger! Feed your kids something other than preservative laced, sugar filled, salt ladened nasty crap and try out some fucking carrots for a change. Why in the world should we even HAVE obsese children?!? I am not the smallest person in the world, but I have no one but myself to blame for it. I am not saying that some genetically large child should not have a car seat that protects him/her - cause let's face it there are tall assed 4 year olds out there. But a tall 4 year old doesn't need to weigh enough to be considered obese for cryin out loud.
I am all for good car seats that keep the sprogs safe in case of an accident, but it seriously annoys me that people can allow and cause their kids to become so large that they jeopardize their saftey when in an automobile - not to mention the health problems from having so much weight.
Step away from the Big Mac
Well folks..that changed. I am reading the web today and I come across an article about car seats and fat kids. The title of the article is "Obese children find it difficult to fit in car-safety seats" NO SHIT SHERLOCK! So then I read the tragic tale of how obese kids can't fit properly into the car seat and run the risk of death and serious injury in car crashes. Damn right they do. Not only do they run the risk of death and injury by the not fitting their asses into the car seats, they run the risk of heart disease, juvenile diabetes, liver problems, kidney problems, breathing problems and fucking death from the size that there stupid over indulging, fat feeding, lazy assed parents have allowed them to become.
Seriously. What parent has the right to complain that little 3 year old and 120 lb Big Mac eating Bobby can't fit into a car seat? Quit feeding the kid nasty crap and get off your lazy ass and encourage the kid to play in an energetic fashion so he doesn't become any bigger! Feed your kids something other than preservative laced, sugar filled, salt ladened nasty crap and try out some fucking carrots for a change. Why in the world should we even HAVE obsese children?!? I am not the smallest person in the world, but I have no one but myself to blame for it. I am not saying that some genetically large child should not have a car seat that protects him/her - cause let's face it there are tall assed 4 year olds out there. But a tall 4 year old doesn't need to weigh enough to be considered obese for cryin out loud.
I am all for good car seats that keep the sprogs safe in case of an accident, but it seriously annoys me that people can allow and cause their kids to become so large that they jeopardize their saftey when in an automobile - not to mention the health problems from having so much weight.
Step away from the Big Mac
Cursed...
Okay I am cursed. I had this horrible respiratory and sinus thing for 2 weeks, got sick leave from the Dr and now am back at work...WITH ZERO motivation. Seriously..I get this sick leave and end up taking afternoon naps (mmmm..naps), read, drink tea, stay in my comfy clothes..pure heaven. Now I am back at work...with absolutely ZERO desire to be here... I seriously need to win the lottery...
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
What's new pussycat..
Okay..it has been 12 days since posting. I know you are all waiting with rapt anticipation of what the hell I could have been doing to delay me from keeping you all updated on my oh-so-interesting life. Well your curiosity will be rewarded.
I have been medicating myself with some of the biggest horse-pill antibiotics I have seen in a while and also some ass-kickin codine-laced cough syrup.. After insisting I was "fine" while coughing up half of what was left of my lungs, Mira finally convinced me to go to the Dr. Turns out my "fine" is a respiratory infection bordering on pneumonia with a killer sinus infection to boot! I suppose the 38 C fever should have clued me in that something was drastically wrong. Okay so I was in denial. Sue me. I mean hell, I have freakishly high white blood cell counts already, so one would think I wouldn't get sick! What the hell did they do, take a farkin holiday and leave the door open so all the germies can come in and invade my body? Bastards.. I suppose I shouldn't have traveled on business for 2 days as well ( note to self..never fly with a sinus infection again...thought my head was going to explode with enough force to cause cabin depressurization)...but I did...to Oulu..
Oulu..a postage stamp in the frozen tundra that is almost northern Finland. Middle of assbackward nowhere. Had an all day business meeting and then a "celebration" that evening at a place called the Viinitupa. It turns out the Viinitupa is a cottage in the middle of nowhere with an incredibly overly demonstrative and LOUD proprietoress. Don't get me wrong, she was Finnish...but the most UN-Finnish person I have met since living in this country for the last (almost) 2 1/2 years. Folks, she made ME look quiet and soft spoken. I thought I was gonna die. If the killer breathing/Sinus ickiy thing I have didn't kill me, I was going to shoot myself if I had to be around her for long. Flew back the next afternoon..with a repeat performance from my sinuses...UGH...
Finally went to the Dr. and he put me on sick leave. I can go back on Friday. On the plus side, the cough syrupigoodness now allows me to get more than 2 hours of sleep a night..and Mira too. The poor thing couldn't sleep because I was hacking up my bronchia all night.
OH..and I took a gander at CNN today. Ladies and Gents it is now SIR TOM! Yes indeedy..the Tiger from Wales is now Sir Tom! ROCK ON!!!
I have been medicating myself with some of the biggest horse-pill antibiotics I have seen in a while and also some ass-kickin codine-laced cough syrup.. After insisting I was "fine" while coughing up half of what was left of my lungs, Mira finally convinced me to go to the Dr. Turns out my "fine" is a respiratory infection bordering on pneumonia with a killer sinus infection to boot! I suppose the 38 C fever should have clued me in that something was drastically wrong. Okay so I was in denial. Sue me. I mean hell, I have freakishly high white blood cell counts already, so one would think I wouldn't get sick! What the hell did they do, take a farkin holiday and leave the door open so all the germies can come in and invade my body? Bastards.. I suppose I shouldn't have traveled on business for 2 days as well ( note to self..never fly with a sinus infection again...thought my head was going to explode with enough force to cause cabin depressurization)...but I did...to Oulu..
Oulu..a postage stamp in the frozen tundra that is almost northern Finland. Middle of assbackward nowhere. Had an all day business meeting and then a "celebration" that evening at a place called the Viinitupa. It turns out the Viinitupa is a cottage in the middle of nowhere with an incredibly overly demonstrative and LOUD proprietoress. Don't get me wrong, she was Finnish...but the most UN-Finnish person I have met since living in this country for the last (almost) 2 1/2 years. Folks, she made ME look quiet and soft spoken. I thought I was gonna die. If the killer breathing/Sinus ickiy thing I have didn't kill me, I was going to shoot myself if I had to be around her for long. Flew back the next afternoon..with a repeat performance from my sinuses...UGH...
Finally went to the Dr. and he put me on sick leave. I can go back on Friday. On the plus side, the cough syrupigoodness now allows me to get more than 2 hours of sleep a night..and Mira too. The poor thing couldn't sleep because I was hacking up my bronchia all night.
OH..and I took a gander at CNN today. Ladies and Gents it is now SIR TOM! Yes indeedy..the Tiger from Wales is now Sir Tom! ROCK ON!!!
Friday, March 17, 2006
Green green green - SUGA!!!
Lá Fhéile Pádraig Sona Daoibh
La ale-lah pwad-rig son-ah jeev!!!!
..no not Finnish folks. Gaelic! It means "Happy St. Patrick's Day!!" (for more than 1 person)... My personal favorite in Gaelic for this holiday is: "Tabhair dom a rud céanna mar atá ag an fhear ar an urlar!"....which means: Give me the same as the man on the floor!
Now I am not even remotely Irish. As Beth says, I am "portapottaginny"...which is her polite way of saying "Portuguese"... see..any romance language (like Portuguese or Spanish) sounds like "ackadack ackadack" to her. The truth is I am half Portuguese and half French. Mom is the greenhorn and Dad is the frog. However, my Dad has been married to a 100% Irish woman for going on forever..so according to her and my 86 year old grams, her mom, I am honorarily Irish. Let's face it, at 86 years old, my grams can say and do whatever the heck she likes. She has earned it and I adore that woman. She has never ever uttered the word "step" in front of granddaughter when introducing me and I love her for that. One of the most amazing women I have ever met and I love her beyond words. So today, per my grams, I am either O'Gaudreau..or O'Costa...either way it works for me.. Oh..and Happy Anniversary to you Sug - one of the only people (besides my brother) who actually got me into a dress for a wedding. I would gladly be your maid of honor all over again! - Much love to you and Leb.
Now, go out and get yourself some beer ( preferably green - food coloring does wonders) and get royally pissed to celebrate that wonderful Catholic story of a Guy and some snakes. If you say a Hail Mary or an Our Father while drinking it is almost like goin to church! :)
And because I am a proud portapottaginnyirish woman today...all 3 family crests make it into this post :)
Roche:
Gaudreau - thanks to a clown as an ancestor (true story):
Costa - who knew somewhere in my heritage there was someone who could read and WASN't a fisherman or a farmer :)
La ale-lah pwad-rig son-ah jeev!!!!
..no not Finnish folks. Gaelic! It means "Happy St. Patrick's Day!!" (for more than 1 person)... My personal favorite in Gaelic for this holiday is: "Tabhair dom a rud céanna mar atá ag an fhear ar an urlar!"....which means: Give me the same as the man on the floor!
Now I am not even remotely Irish. As Beth says, I am "portapottaginny"...which is her polite way of saying "Portuguese"... see..any romance language (like Portuguese or Spanish) sounds like "ackadack ackadack" to her. The truth is I am half Portuguese and half French. Mom is the greenhorn and Dad is the frog. However, my Dad has been married to a 100% Irish woman for going on forever..so according to her and my 86 year old grams, her mom, I am honorarily Irish. Let's face it, at 86 years old, my grams can say and do whatever the heck she likes. She has earned it and I adore that woman. She has never ever uttered the word "step" in front of granddaughter when introducing me and I love her for that. One of the most amazing women I have ever met and I love her beyond words. So today, per my grams, I am either O'Gaudreau..or O'Costa...either way it works for me.. Oh..and Happy Anniversary to you Sug - one of the only people (besides my brother) who actually got me into a dress for a wedding. I would gladly be your maid of honor all over again! - Much love to you and Leb.
Now, go out and get yourself some beer ( preferably green - food coloring does wonders) and get royally pissed to celebrate that wonderful Catholic story of a Guy and some snakes. If you say a Hail Mary or an Our Father while drinking it is almost like goin to church! :)
And because I am a proud portapottaginnyirish woman today...all 3 family crests make it into this post :)
Roche:
Gaudreau - thanks to a clown as an ancestor (true story):
Costa - who knew somewhere in my heritage there was someone who could read and WASN't a fisherman or a farmer :)
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Friday, March 10, 2006
Just in case you were wondering...Conan
..I have no idea where my politically, activist charged last few posts came from. Normally I like to keep this sedate and mildly amusing (well at least it is amusing to me).
In case you didn't know, Conon O'Brien is a "god" in Finland. Yes, I know. Not the funniest man on the planet, but I gotta support the hometown boy (jep he is from Boston too)... Well his show is aired here in Finland (3 days delay)...
Long story short...because he got so much fan mail from Finland and because,in an entirely disturbing way, he resembles the female President of Finland (dunno which one of them should feel slighted at that one) he came here in February for a 4 day visit. He even got to meet the Pres.
Well tonight ( March 10th) in the States, his entire show is going to be on his visit to Finland -
So if you were really wondering what the hell Finland looks like in February and also how easy it can be to laugh at yourself and us living here - take a gander at his show tonight....
shamless plug I know..but had to do it...
In case you didn't know, Conon O'Brien is a "god" in Finland. Yes, I know. Not the funniest man on the planet, but I gotta support the hometown boy (jep he is from Boston too)... Well his show is aired here in Finland (3 days delay)...
Long story short...because he got so much fan mail from Finland and because,in an entirely disturbing way, he resembles the female President of Finland (dunno which one of them should feel slighted at that one) he came here in February for a 4 day visit. He even got to meet the Pres.
Well tonight ( March 10th) in the States, his entire show is going to be on his visit to Finland -
So if you were really wondering what the hell Finland looks like in February and also how easy it can be to laugh at yourself and us living here - take a gander at his show tonight....
shamless plug I know..but had to do it...
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Stole this image from Hale's Blog.... Oh and abortion..
2 votes for evil...Hale's and Mine...
And while we are on the subject of controversial items.. I am going to take this opportunity to react to the state of South Dakota outlawing all abortions where the mother's life is not in danger.
This bill was signed into law by the governor of South Dakota as a move by the pro-lifers to directly challenge Roe v. Wade. And move the fight to the Supreme Court to over-turn the present law on the books allowing for abortion. Now, I knew it was coming, but it still amazes me the backward thinking of some people...
Anywho.. I am not worried yet. Yet being the operative word here folks. You see, the "direct threat" I keep reading about really isn't one. What will happen next is that the law will be appealed and it will be sent to the lower Federal court to determine its validity. The lower Federal court being bound buy the previous ruling of the Supreme Court will nullify this law. "But wait!!" you yell, "They will then bring it to the Supreme Court and we will be screwed!". It is entirely true that the proponents of this preposterous law will try to bring it to the Supreme Court..however I do not thing the SJC will even hear the case and refer it back to the lower Federal court letting the said same's ruling stand. My opinion is that the justices on the SJC (including Bush's 2 cronies) will not hear this case. Not now. It will look too much like political pay back.. Not to mention the current standing of the SJC is solidly 5-4 pro Roe v. Wade.
This is where the Yet comes in.... who knows what will happen farther down the line...
And while we are on the subject of controversial items.. I am going to take this opportunity to react to the state of South Dakota outlawing all abortions where the mother's life is not in danger.
This bill was signed into law by the governor of South Dakota as a move by the pro-lifers to directly challenge Roe v. Wade. And move the fight to the Supreme Court to over-turn the present law on the books allowing for abortion. Now, I knew it was coming, but it still amazes me the backward thinking of some people...
Anywho.. I am not worried yet. Yet being the operative word here folks. You see, the "direct threat" I keep reading about really isn't one. What will happen next is that the law will be appealed and it will be sent to the lower Federal court to determine its validity. The lower Federal court being bound buy the previous ruling of the Supreme Court will nullify this law. "But wait!!" you yell, "They will then bring it to the Supreme Court and we will be screwed!". It is entirely true that the proponents of this preposterous law will try to bring it to the Supreme Court..however I do not thing the SJC will even hear the case and refer it back to the lower Federal court letting the said same's ruling stand. My opinion is that the justices on the SJC (including Bush's 2 cronies) will not hear this case. Not now. It will look too much like political pay back.. Not to mention the current standing of the SJC is solidly 5-4 pro Roe v. Wade.
This is where the Yet comes in.... who knows what will happen farther down the line...
Monday, March 06, 2006
What the hell...
Wow..this takes the cake. Okay boys and girls, on our left we have the white washed version of the animal kingdom and on our right we have..um..er..nevermind.
Penguin book moved from children’s section
Parents complained about story depicting two male birds raising baby
Jesus H. Christ - this is a frickin TRUE story of 2 male penguins adopting an abandoned egg at the NY City Central Park Zoo. We can't have kids learn that this happened! They mighgt think that the birds are gay and therefore that gay people might want to adopt too. Cause that would be wrong. 2 same-sexed indviduals can't possibly adopt or raise a baby together. It just isn't natural.
Well folks.. obviously Penguins find nothing wrong with it...
Penguin book moved from children’s section
Parents complained about story depicting two male birds raising baby
Jesus H. Christ - this is a frickin TRUE story of 2 male penguins adopting an abandoned egg at the NY City Central Park Zoo. We can't have kids learn that this happened! They mighgt think
Well folks.. obviously Penguins find nothing wrong with it...
Karma - mon dieu!!!
..it comes back and bites you in the ass every time.
I did write a long winded rant about something to do with work..but considering I am not sure who reads this... I think the following small phrase will make sense to most people who are familiar:
"For an (sniff and glaring down the nose)..American..."
There..cryptic.
I got great comments on the promo from people..so Thanks! Sug you moved already?!?! Email me your new addy :)
I did write a long winded rant about something to do with work..but considering I am not sure who reads this... I think the following small phrase will make sense to most people who are familiar:
"For an (sniff and glaring down the nose)..American..."
There..cryptic.
I got great comments on the promo from people..so Thanks! Sug you moved already?!?! Email me your new addy :)
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Lakko and making up for lost time..
For those NON Finns (which is most of you) who read my blog, the word "lakko" means: strike. As in a labour strike, not as in I kick your ass with my nuclear missle strike kind of strike. It appears as though the labour negotiations between the Transport Worker's Union and the government have collapsed at this point and a bus strike is imminent.
According to YLE news (the state run news/television channel):
I am a bit relieved that I take the train to work (well to the stop nearest me and then walk the 1.5 km to my office). Our department assistant actually sent out an email today:
Very nice of them in my opinion. It also means that we will be able to bill the client if employees actually show up and do work :)
I also got sort of a promotion. I have been accepted as "Development and Deplyoment Manager" of a global process being developed and implemented for our client. Now I am not so sure it is actually a promotion at this point though. It is a fuck load more work and more responsibility. It gives me greater visibility and more impact on our relationship with our client and our bottom line - as I will be the one getting this process implemented into projects where our staff already is placed and having our staff (to whom I have taught the process) moved into more projects thus expanding our reach and the depth of service we provide for our client. So instead of the opportunity to fail on a project level, I get the opportunity to fail on a GRAND stage! Or succeed - if you are an optimist... I had the interview with the global owner of this thing on Friday and he said to my boss: "If she can learn to speak Finnish as well as she actually does in under 2 years, then she can do anything and I want her on my team." ....Um....er..talk about a frickin ego boost and having the bar set REALLY Manute Bol FUCKING HIGH for me. Nothing like giving me an ego boost and scaring the crap out of me all in the same sentence!
I start next week.....
According to YLE news (the state run news/television channel):
"The Transport Workers' Union says it is still prepared to begin the strike
on Sunday evening at 6:00 p.m. The state mediator's office says that there
has
not been enough progress to submit a government-backed compromise deal.
The key
dispute is whether employers should be allowed to use more part-time
contracts.
..."
I am a bit relieved that I take the train to work (well to the stop nearest me and then walk the 1.5 km to my office). Our department assistant actually sent out an email today:
If you think that the strike will affect you, please send mail to Petra (last name removed to protect the innocent): and tell from where you are coming to work. We need to organize a car pool to help those who need a ride to work during the strike.
Deadline: Thursday 2.3. by 14:00! (so we'll have enough time to try to find the rides for you)
Very nice of them in my opinion. It also means that we will be able to bill the client if employees actually show up and do work :)
I also got sort of a promotion. I have been accepted as "Development and Deplyoment Manager" of a global process being developed and implemented for our client. Now I am not so sure it is actually a promotion at this point though. It is a fuck load more work and more responsibility. It gives me greater visibility and more impact on our relationship with our client and our bottom line - as I will be the one getting this process implemented into projects where our staff already is placed and having our staff (to whom I have taught the process) moved into more projects thus expanding our reach and the depth of service we provide for our client. So instead of the opportunity to fail on a project level, I get the opportunity to fail on a GRAND stage! Or succeed - if you are an optimist... I had the interview with the global owner of this thing on Friday and he said to my boss: "If she can learn to speak Finnish as well as she actually does in under 2 years, then she can do anything and I want her on my team." ....Um....er..talk about a frickin ego boost and having the bar set REALLY Manute Bol FUCKING HIGH for me. Nothing like giving me an ego boost and scaring the crap out of me all in the same sentence!
I start next week.....
Um
I have no idea what got into me last week. I was hell on wheels! I really was a horrible person to be around. No idea why I was that way or what kicked it off. I just hated everything i guess...
So..this post is about the comments I have gotten on my previous posts. Normally I respond by putting my own comment in the comments section responding to the questions and items presented to me.. This time I figured everyone gets a post about there questions.
From my entry: "The Cool Kids"
beth said...
Oh dude, that pic is just too scary. Now, I love Barry, but yer scaring me.
--dude..I scare most people and that pic scares ME!
So..this post is about the comments I have gotten on my previous posts. Normally I respond by putting my own comment in the comments section responding to the questions and items presented to me.. This time I figured everyone gets a post about there questions.
From my entry: "The Cool Kids"
beth said...
Oh dude, that pic is just too scary. Now, I love Barry, but yer scaring me.
--dude..I scare most people and that pic scares ME!
From my entry "Mighty"
Beth said...
Jesse's girl is it. Sorry, you cannot escape your destiny, Luke.
::sigh:: Lalalalalalala Jesse's Girl...
From my entry: " Excellent..warning..nasty language and graphic descriptions"
Anzi said...
Forget about gay marriages... Melissa Etheridge is on tour? Awesome!
Is she coming to Finland?
I must be one of the rare hetero chicks out there who like her but I think she's awesome
...Anzi you are not a rare hetero chic. I know several hetero chics who dig Melissa. As for the concert dates..none announced for Europe yet, but I am keeping my hopes up!
From my entry: "Someone put me in a Time out please?!?!"
There are many comments on that one so here are my responses in no particular order:
Hale: Yeah.. I really hear ya.
SUG: SUGA right back at ya and I definitely do need some SO CA sunshine and a big
fat G&T
Anzi: Tell me about it..my brain hurts at the end of the day.
Hank: I think I will pass the exam. I still have until 12/2008 before I can apply for citizenship so if I totally tank on this one I can always take it again.
From my entry: "Puff Puff"
Beth said...
You can smoke around me anytime.
- DUDE you rocksor!!! SUGA FOR YOU!!!
Tii said...
You know it is actually bad for you... ;)
- Tii, I will choke you later...too tired right now..
BigHairyFinn said...
you sound like you went on a strike ;)
- Hank, you have no idea..
Friday, February 24, 2006
Puff Puff
What is with people lately?! Maybe it is part of my ultimate crankiness as of late, but color me pink and call me the Easter Bunny I really can’t stand soap-box anti-smokers. I mean really people. I know it is bad for me. I know the list of crap that they put in smokes. I know all about second-hand smoke and what it can cause, let alone what I am doing to my own lungs when I take a puff. I respect people’s desire and right to not be exposed to second hand smoke, which is why I DO not smoke around non-smokers. I will leave a room and go outside. I do not smoke in my home and nor do I allow anyone else to smoke in my home. I don’t smoke in people’s cars and I will not smoke in a non-smoking area. If I am in a group of non-smokers, I just don’t do it. I also agree that restaurants should be smoke free. As a smoker even I can’t stand smoke around me when I eat. Makes me nuts.
HOWEVER, if I have to have ONE more person comment: “You know, that is bad for you.” when they notice my pack of ciggie-butts in my hand, I am going to fricken choke them. No Einstein, I DIDN’T know it is bad for me. What the hell planet do you think I live on?! It is my frickin choice to pollut my lungs if I want to and ya know what? You can BITE me if you think I am going to take your holier-than-thou condemnation of my vice. I could have worse ones folks. I could be shooting heroin into my body. I could be self-mutilating. I could be a raging alcoholic. If I want to smoke I am going to smoke. I make every effort and concession to non-smokers but god damn it lay off the “You should quit.” crap. Give it a rest already.
Me---the raging bitch today…
HOWEVER, if I have to have ONE more person comment: “You know, that is bad for you.” when they notice my pack of ciggie-butts in my hand, I am going to fricken choke them. No Einstein, I DIDN’T know it is bad for me. What the hell planet do you think I live on?! It is my frickin choice to pollut my lungs if I want to and ya know what? You can BITE me if you think I am going to take your holier-than-thou condemnation of my vice. I could have worse ones folks. I could be shooting heroin into my body. I could be self-mutilating. I could be a raging alcoholic. If I want to smoke I am going to smoke. I make every effort and concession to non-smokers but god damn it lay off the “You should quit.” crap. Give it a rest already.
Me---the raging bitch today…
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Someone put me in a timeout please!?!
Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to revert back to childhood and pull the “I am taking my ball and going home!” kind of temper tantrums? Well, I have those lately. I think most of it comes from my geographical location and language challenges. I really do speak Finnish pretty well at this point (taking the National Proficiency Exam in April), and am comfortable in my new flat. It is beginning to feel like home when I go there. I guess my temper tantrum is a result of many factors at this point. Partially it comes from the very long and cold winter here in Finland. Okay to be fair, it really didn’t get THAT cold until January (right at my birthday btw). The temperature plummeted to -25 degrees Celsius, which is -13F and with the wind it was -38C which is -36.5F. It stayed that way for 2 weeks…warmed up enough to snow..And then plummeted again. All the news agencies in the States commented on how cold it was in Moscow…well it was cold as heck here too folks. It is slowly beginning to feel, now, like spring just might come again at some point. I know it will, but I am just tired of the winter and whiney about wanting weather which doesn’t require a scarf, gloves, thermal underwear, and where the sun shines for more than 8 hours. Now, I am not really complaining about Finland per-se, but just the winter right now. I really am actually happy living here. Mostly. Here is where the geography comes in. My best friend (Mira doesn’t count in this evaluation), lives 10,000 miles away and I miss her. Period. I miss my Sug. I miss hanging out and laughing so hard I can’t breathe. I miss a good G&T as made by Sug… I know that the distance doesn’t change that we are best buds…but I just wish I could ring her up and pop over and just hang… The 10 hour time difference and airfare costs kind of prohibit that happening easily and without planning. See, it is uncommon here in Finland for people to just pop over. Happens all the time in the States….but it is my experience here that people plan everything before going out…the spontaneity is just missing from the whole thing. So SUG, when you read this: I miss you. Suga for you.
Right…language. Now, I speak Finnish pretty well (as my friends will attest). I can get along in daily life in Finnish, I can go shopping, I can work and have meetings in Finnish (building contractors are excluded from this at this point due to not really ever having learned the words for that kind of trade specific communication)…but sometimes I just want to not have to translate every frickin newspaper and newscast into English in my head. I am getting to the point where I don’t have to (slowly) and “tuoli” means the thing I sit on and I don’t have to think “chair” first. The concept “tuoli” now exists in my head as the thing I sit on. (No SUG..what you are thinking of, in regards to the 49 Things, Now 50 due to Duane’s FABULOUS addition… is “pepu”…okay that is the cute word for it…the technical word is “perse”). Isn’t that what language really is anyway? Concepts put into a verbal and written form of communication? The first time I thought in Finnish was scary as hell… I have dreamed in Finnish at this point too…but when the chips are down and I am frustrated or need to argue I still switch in to the comfort language of English. I now am preparing for the National Proficiency Exam so I can apply for Finnish Citizenship. I need to pass that before I can apply. Additional stress that makes me want to stomp my feet and demand milk and cookies before naptime and a big recess break!
The point of all of this? I am whiney and bitchy and need a vacation. Preferably to an English speaking country….Oh and did I mention my Mother AND my redneck Sister are coming to visit in May?..For a frickin WEEK?!?! I love my mom,….but in small doses please! I now have to find stuff for them to do and figure out how I am going to entertain them doing things that don’t involve alcohol (Mom is a friend of Bill’s) or a bar. This is going to be tough for me as I frequently make the drunken phone call/text message to Sug, K, Sarah..etc… Heaven (if there is one) help me.
Right…language. Now, I speak Finnish pretty well (as my friends will attest). I can get along in daily life in Finnish, I can go shopping, I can work and have meetings in Finnish (building contractors are excluded from this at this point due to not really ever having learned the words for that kind of trade specific communication)…but sometimes I just want to not have to translate every frickin newspaper and newscast into English in my head. I am getting to the point where I don’t have to (slowly) and “tuoli” means the thing I sit on and I don’t have to think “chair” first. The concept “tuoli” now exists in my head as the thing I sit on. (No SUG..what you are thinking of, in regards to the 49 Things, Now 50 due to Duane’s FABULOUS addition… is “pepu”…okay that is the cute word for it…the technical word is “perse”). Isn’t that what language really is anyway? Concepts put into a verbal and written form of communication? The first time I thought in Finnish was scary as hell… I have dreamed in Finnish at this point too…but when the chips are down and I am frustrated or need to argue I still switch in to the comfort language of English. I now am preparing for the National Proficiency Exam so I can apply for Finnish Citizenship. I need to pass that before I can apply. Additional stress that makes me want to stomp my feet and demand milk and cookies before naptime and a big recess break!
The point of all of this? I am whiney and bitchy and need a vacation. Preferably to an English speaking country….Oh and did I mention my Mother AND my redneck Sister are coming to visit in May?..For a frickin WEEK?!?! I love my mom,….but in small doses please! I now have to find stuff for them to do and figure out how I am going to entertain them doing things that don’t involve alcohol (Mom is a friend of Bill’s) or a bar. This is going to be tough for me as I frequently make the drunken phone call/text message to Sug, K, Sarah..etc… Heaven (if there is one) help me.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Excellent...warning..nasty language and graphic descriptions..
MLE is touring this summer!!! From her website:
DUDE!!!
Now..we all know that Melissa Etheridge is like a lesbian icon right?... I honestly have to say that I have seen her in concert about 12 times and each time it is awesome. Nothing like 10 thousand dykes singing the words of your songs back to you :)
Also.. Commander in Chief started here in Finland...rock on Geena!
Other interesting stuff. I listend to my friend Phil's podcast with this guy from Iceland..and about 30 minutes into the interview Phil asks him about social differences between Iceland and it's EU nordic counterparts... You know where this is going.. The whole gay's getting hitched thing came up.. This guy actually said that "gay sex is not normal sex". Now...um could someone define normal for me? Please? I am not sure what NORMAL actually is. Does this guy just have an aversion to the idea of a guy sticking his dingding in another guy's rumshaker or mouth? I bet this guy has no problem if his girl gives him little bootahy action or a blow job and considers THAT completely normal. Or better yet..what if he goes south of the border for his lady...I bet he considers THAT completely normal..so why is it abnormal when 2 consenting adults of the same gender get their freak on?...GRRRRRRR Normally I am not so militant, but damn it I hate having the stupid "NORMAL" label thrown around...
Melissa 2006 Summer Tour Announcement
M.E.I.N. is excited to announce that
Melissa will be touring this summer! Stay tuned to melissaetheridge.com for
updates on Melissa's Summer Tour plans and ticket on sale information coming
soon!
DUDE!!!
Now..we all know that Melissa Etheridge is like a lesbian icon right?... I honestly have to say that I have seen her in concert about 12 times and each time it is awesome. Nothing like 10 thousand dykes singing the words of your songs back to you :)
Also.. Commander in Chief started here in Finland...rock on Geena!
Other interesting stuff. I listend to my friend Phil's podcast with this guy from Iceland..and about 30 minutes into the interview Phil asks him about social differences between Iceland and it's EU nordic counterparts... You know where this is going.. The whole gay's getting hitched thing came up.. This guy actually said that "gay sex is not normal sex". Now...um could someone define normal for me? Please? I am not sure what NORMAL actually is. Does this guy just have an aversion to the idea of a guy sticking his dingding in another guy's rumshaker or mouth? I bet this guy has no problem if his girl gives him little bootahy action or a blow job and considers THAT completely normal. Or better yet..what if he goes south of the border for his lady...I bet he considers THAT completely normal..so why is it abnormal when 2 consenting adults of the same gender get their freak on?...GRRRRRRR Normally I am not so militant, but damn it I hate having the stupid "NORMAL" label thrown around...
Monday, February 20, 2006
Mighty..
It is the little things that make you smile....that and a really cool soundtrack. I have always wanted a theme song and NO SUG, "Jessie's Girl" is NOT it ;)
I am mighty
hey..a healthy ego is a good thing :)
I am mighty
hey..a healthy ego is a good thing :)
Friday, February 10, 2006
The cool kids...
Ya know what is really funny to me? That people mock my open and honest love of Barry Manilow. So for all of you doubting thomases (no offence K or D)...
That's right gang. You read correctly. Mr. Manilow has done it again! Come on, everyone..sing with me now..."His name was Rico. He wore a daimond...."
Could it be magic? Manilow is a chart-topper again
By Andrew
Gumbel in Los Angeles
Published: 10 February 2006
The king of easy listening is back. It's been 29 years since
Barry Manilow last had a number one album, but this week he has pulled off the
old magic one more time.
Manilow's new compilation of golden oldies - what
else? - unexpectedly soared to the top spot in the US Billboard chart in its
first week of release, to the delight of his middle-of-the-road, predominantly
female audience and, no doubt, the horror of just about everyone else...."
That's right gang. You read correctly. Mr. Manilow has done it again! Come on, everyone..sing with me now..."His name was Rico. He wore a daimond...."
Monday, February 06, 2006
SAGA
Okay. So I promised a kitchen explanation to those of you who have been unfortunate enough to hear/read my rants on the subject of our blind shaved monkey kitchen guy and his escapades in fixing the sink area wall and installing the kitchen we designed over months of painstaking re-work and geometry too complicated for the mathematically challenged individual that I am. Right, maybe I am selling myself a bit short on the math thing… Nah, I am hopeless. I have to have a frickin computer to even do simple addition. As most of you know, I love to cook and so does Mira. The kitchen, to both of us, is the heart of our house. One look at my scale and you can tell why :)
We finally decided on the flat we bought specifically because we could have an open kitchen/living room arrangement. Our previous flat had the kitchen in an inconvenient location for full conversation sharing between the cook and guests. One of us was always running back and forth to check on the dinner being prepared so we would always miss part of the conversation etc. This flat had the “bones” we wanted (literally too) and our adventure began after signing our signatures 11 times each on documents at the bank and paying money.
Kitchen Design: We finally chose a “kitchen store” (Domus) to provide us the cabinets because of color choice limitations of all of the other stores (Parma, Petra, etc). Seriously. 10 color choices is not my idea of having a “choice”, and for those of you who don’t know, Mira’s livelihood is color. She can look at something and tell you the % of all colors in it. It is a spooky talent. Okay she is a pro, but still. I am hopeless. I tried to describe the color we chose and it was like “um..bluish with grey..but not too grey and not too blue”…and she just shook her head. Same thing with the color of the wall paints… I just tried to describe what I wanted, she picked up the color swatches and actually handed me the color I was describing and told me the name…which I still can’t remember.. So, after what seemed like 4907987 visits to the kitchen store we explained our design to the consultant and all she pretty much had to do was write down the measurements, and put it in something similar to CAD (geek I know). Voila, we had our design and our price tag. (Props to Mira for reducing the cost of our kitchen by about 3 grand without compromising on our taste and wants (mmmm hard wood counter tops)..She rocks). The sales consultant then gave us the name of the firm they use and the offer from them to install it.
….during these whole shenanigans it was decided that the walls of the sink area needed to be altered so that the cabinets would “sit properly” and that the walls would look appropriately nice… After having a friend’s workmate (both of them in construction) who promised to come look at it and give us an estimate, stand us up 3 times we called the referenced firm from Domus. Monkey Boy, which is what I refer to him as now, showed up, we explained what we wanted done, he took a look and said “Jep, ei hätää”. Which means: “Yep, no worries”….
…Fast forward 3 weeks.. Sink walls…HOLY HELL. The left wall, which was supposed to have a sheet rock panel installed over the brick (due to time constraints), had the worst plastering job you have ever seen and it had more dips and holes than a rally course…. Fear began to settle in…. When he arrived to do the kitchen wall work, we informed him that our floors had JUST been sanded and that we covered the hallway and the whole kitchen area floors with paper (voima paperi) and to please not step off of them…. Well…we come in after they have gone so we can put the floor stain (very nice choice by mira I might add) to give them a bit of color and then after that the 1st layer of sealant to protect them. So..we dutifully take off our shoes (outside the door) and put on nice socks and go in to remove the papers. We walk around, remove the paper, vacuum and tack cloth the entire fucking flat. Excuse my language… We scrubbed with a clean cloth and started the floor staining ritual. I am telling you it was like invisible frickin ink. The frickin idiots walked all over our living room area with work boots on. We now have foot prints everywhere. I can tell you that Monkey Boy wears a size 42….. Okay..don’t panic..don’t scream Steph…UGH!!! At this point we just don’t have 1.) Money (paying for 2 apartments and a renovation leaves me at this very moment with 38,23 euros in my bank until payday on the 15th, and 2). TIME. We had no option NOT to move at the end of January… So to all of my friends who suggested the resanding, I appreciate your suggestions, but there is no way in hell we can afford it...both in money, or another place to live while it is being done and the re-staining is accomplished….
..so..Steph’s Latin temper begins to boil and poor Mira listens to me rant and rave at the ceiling.. We call him. Well…it was Mira cause Monkey Boy don’t speaka da English and I don’t speak Finnish well enough when it comes to remodeling terms and I would just spend 10 minutes yelling: “VITTU SAATANA PERKELE!!!” at him and that would get us nowhere. MB says that “we needed to use the electrical outlet on the other side of the room…and we didn’t realize there was NOTHING protecting the floors”…. WHAT?!?! What the hell did we tell you earlier you frickin ASSHOLE!! OH and the outlet that was right next to you on the wall of the COVERED area wasn’t enough?!?!?... JESUS..Thanks for the interesting conversational piece that is now our living room floor. I will just have to say it was a game of Twister gone wrong?
Cabinets arrive and Monkey Boy starts to install them. Now..the installation of cabinets begins…and he says that it will take him 3 days… Half way through he runs out of tile (and we estimated a whole extra square meter so he wouldn’t) and we have to order another box so he can use 4. Yes 4. To top it off, the 4 he decides to use have black stuff on them that won’t come off!. Our tiles are installed, but the frickin grout was not wiped afterwards so it is all over the tiles in clumps. Not only that… the “chemical” wash he used to “treat” the tiles when they went on is now splashed over our newly painted LIVINGROOM wall ( a good 3 feet away), down the front of my brand new cabinets and inside my BRAND FUCKING NEW and REALLY EXPENSIVE STAINLESS STEEL GAS STOVE!!!!.... What does Monkey boy say when we call him: “It wasn’t me. I didn’t do it. The stuff was covered and the stove shouldn’t have been there in the first place.”….. WHAT?!??!?!!? FUCKING WHAT?!?!?!?! You mean to tell me that this intellectual giant never installed tile in a kitchen that had appliances in them before?!?!?! You have to be fucking kidding me!!! Not only that, when we are preparing the kitchen for our moving day, the fucking genius grouted the masking tape he used to attach the “covering” of the countertops TO the fucking counter-tops!!! It took 3 hours with needle-nosed pliers and a hell of a lot of patience for it to be taken off… Oh and did I mention the giant holes he punched in our walls to run the electricity and didn’t even ask us first?... That part isn’t so bad because they are now covered with face plates..but come on buddy..give me a fucking break! Oh..and he STILL hasn’t scilconed the gap between the tiles and the countertop so we have to be very careful about not having any kind of wetness (especially in the sink area) splash near it.
…so the kitchen is completely done yet, the bastard has to come back… We called Domus and they told us that we are not the only client that has complained about his workmanship and attitude. We were number 3. So we actually were told that they are severing their contract with him. It is just sad that we had to be the 3rd client that had this experience. We called the consumer protection agency to find out our rights ( I was threatening not to pay at all) and the woman there said that the only thing we can do is argue when we get the bill and that we have to have him finish the contract or HE could sue US. WHAT?!!??!?! So Monkey Boy comes tomorrow to attach the backboard for the island (the original one was 3mm too small) and the kick boards for 2 locations. He is also supposed to silicon the gap…. We have decided that he will NOT be allowed in our house without one of us there….
….there..the Kitchen rant….
…on the plus side, our Bathroom company (Blosius) did a great job. Expensive, but great. It is precisely what we asked for and finished on-time. The painter we had help us was also great…..so all in all it isn’t THAT bad, but I still want to kick Monkey Boy in the bits..many many times.
We finally decided on the flat we bought specifically because we could have an open kitchen/living room arrangement. Our previous flat had the kitchen in an inconvenient location for full conversation sharing between the cook and guests. One of us was always running back and forth to check on the dinner being prepared so we would always miss part of the conversation etc. This flat had the “bones” we wanted (literally too) and our adventure began after signing our signatures 11 times each on documents at the bank and paying money.
Kitchen Design: We finally chose a “kitchen store” (Domus) to provide us the cabinets because of color choice limitations of all of the other stores (Parma, Petra, etc). Seriously. 10 color choices is not my idea of having a “choice”, and for those of you who don’t know, Mira’s livelihood is color. She can look at something and tell you the % of all colors in it. It is a spooky talent. Okay she is a pro, but still. I am hopeless. I tried to describe the color we chose and it was like “um..bluish with grey..but not too grey and not too blue”…and she just shook her head. Same thing with the color of the wall paints… I just tried to describe what I wanted, she picked up the color swatches and actually handed me the color I was describing and told me the name…which I still can’t remember.. So, after what seemed like 4907987 visits to the kitchen store we explained our design to the consultant and all she pretty much had to do was write down the measurements, and put it in something similar to CAD (geek I know). Voila, we had our design and our price tag. (Props to Mira for reducing the cost of our kitchen by about 3 grand without compromising on our taste and wants (mmmm hard wood counter tops)..She rocks). The sales consultant then gave us the name of the firm they use and the offer from them to install it.
….during these whole shenanigans it was decided that the walls of the sink area needed to be altered so that the cabinets would “sit properly” and that the walls would look appropriately nice… After having a friend’s workmate (both of them in construction) who promised to come look at it and give us an estimate, stand us up 3 times we called the referenced firm from Domus. Monkey Boy, which is what I refer to him as now, showed up, we explained what we wanted done, he took a look and said “Jep, ei hätää”. Which means: “Yep, no worries”….
…Fast forward 3 weeks.. Sink walls…HOLY HELL. The left wall, which was supposed to have a sheet rock panel installed over the brick (due to time constraints), had the worst plastering job you have ever seen and it had more dips and holes than a rally course…. Fear began to settle in…. When he arrived to do the kitchen wall work, we informed him that our floors had JUST been sanded and that we covered the hallway and the whole kitchen area floors with paper (voima paperi) and to please not step off of them…. Well…we come in after they have gone so we can put the floor stain (very nice choice by mira I might add) to give them a bit of color and then after that the 1st layer of sealant to protect them. So..we dutifully take off our shoes (outside the door) and put on nice socks and go in to remove the papers. We walk around, remove the paper, vacuum and tack cloth the entire fucking flat. Excuse my language… We scrubbed with a clean cloth and started the floor staining ritual. I am telling you it was like invisible frickin ink. The frickin idiots walked all over our living room area with work boots on. We now have foot prints everywhere. I can tell you that Monkey Boy wears a size 42….. Okay..don’t panic..don’t scream Steph…UGH!!! At this point we just don’t have 1.) Money (paying for 2 apartments and a renovation leaves me at this very moment with 38,23 euros in my bank until payday on the 15th, and 2). TIME. We had no option NOT to move at the end of January… So to all of my friends who suggested the resanding, I appreciate your suggestions, but there is no way in hell we can afford it...both in money, or another place to live while it is being done and the re-staining is accomplished….
..so..Steph’s Latin temper begins to boil and poor Mira listens to me rant and rave at the ceiling.. We call him. Well…it was Mira cause Monkey Boy don’t speaka da English and I don’t speak Finnish well enough when it comes to remodeling terms and I would just spend 10 minutes yelling: “VITTU SAATANA PERKELE!!!” at him and that would get us nowhere. MB says that “we needed to use the electrical outlet on the other side of the room…and we didn’t realize there was NOTHING protecting the floors”…. WHAT?!?! What the hell did we tell you earlier you frickin ASSHOLE!! OH and the outlet that was right next to you on the wall of the COVERED area wasn’t enough?!?!?... JESUS..Thanks for the interesting conversational piece that is now our living room floor. I will just have to say it was a game of Twister gone wrong?
Cabinets arrive and Monkey Boy starts to install them. Now..the installation of cabinets begins…and he says that it will take him 3 days… Half way through he runs out of tile (and we estimated a whole extra square meter so he wouldn’t) and we have to order another box so he can use 4. Yes 4. To top it off, the 4 he decides to use have black stuff on them that won’t come off!. Our tiles are installed, but the frickin grout was not wiped afterwards so it is all over the tiles in clumps. Not only that… the “chemical” wash he used to “treat” the tiles when they went on is now splashed over our newly painted LIVINGROOM wall ( a good 3 feet away), down the front of my brand new cabinets and inside my BRAND FUCKING NEW and REALLY EXPENSIVE STAINLESS STEEL GAS STOVE!!!!.... What does Monkey boy say when we call him: “It wasn’t me. I didn’t do it. The stuff was covered and the stove shouldn’t have been there in the first place.”….. WHAT?!??!?!!? FUCKING WHAT?!?!?!?! You mean to tell me that this intellectual giant never installed tile in a kitchen that had appliances in them before?!?!?! You have to be fucking kidding me!!! Not only that, when we are preparing the kitchen for our moving day, the fucking genius grouted the masking tape he used to attach the “covering” of the countertops TO the fucking counter-tops!!! It took 3 hours with needle-nosed pliers and a hell of a lot of patience for it to be taken off… Oh and did I mention the giant holes he punched in our walls to run the electricity and didn’t even ask us first?... That part isn’t so bad because they are now covered with face plates..but come on buddy..give me a fucking break! Oh..and he STILL hasn’t scilconed the gap between the tiles and the countertop so we have to be very careful about not having any kind of wetness (especially in the sink area) splash near it.
…so the kitchen is completely done yet, the bastard has to come back… We called Domus and they told us that we are not the only client that has complained about his workmanship and attitude. We were number 3. So we actually were told that they are severing their contract with him. It is just sad that we had to be the 3rd client that had this experience. We called the consumer protection agency to find out our rights ( I was threatening not to pay at all) and the woman there said that the only thing we can do is argue when we get the bill and that we have to have him finish the contract or HE could sue US. WHAT?!!??!?! So Monkey Boy comes tomorrow to attach the backboard for the island (the original one was 3mm too small) and the kick boards for 2 locations. He is also supposed to silicon the gap…. We have decided that he will NOT be allowed in our house without one of us there….
….there..the Kitchen rant….
…on the plus side, our Bathroom company (Blosius) did a great job. Expensive, but great. It is precisely what we asked for and finished on-time. The painter we had help us was also great…..so all in all it isn’t THAT bad, but I still want to kick Monkey Boy in the bits..many many times.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Suckage and Shaweet...
Suckage
- Not having enough hours in the day
- Remodeling at the same time as having HUGE deliverables due at work
- PM training course which I have to attend the 2nd session of
- ISEB material I have to sift through to pass an exam for a course my company is paying giagundo amounts of money to send me on which I don't have time for because of the huge mind-shattering deliverables at work
- Kitchen installation firms who are unbelievably arrogant and fuck up things that even a blind shaved monkey could do
- Packing AND Unpacking
- Not knowing where anything is and taking 30 fucking minutes to find a fucking pair of socks while tripping over boxes and stubbing my toes on furniture which is in unfamiliar places in an unfamilar place
- Bleeding money like a frickin stuck pig
- Only getting 4 hours of sleep a night because of remodeling and having to work crazy hours
Shaweet
- Not renting anymore and owning (again)
- Really cool friends who help unpack, put things away, clean etc..
- Only having to grunt a mono-syllabic answer and having it understood to be a 10 minute discourse on the universe and the meaning of life
- Sauna every Saturday from 16:00-17:00 because my building has one now
- Mira
- Suga letting me call her at all hours and bitch about remodeling in a foreign country
- K sending me very intimate questions and pointing out when I sidestep the answer..case study...right...
- The local pub is a 18 foot walk from the gate to my building's courtyard
- Presidential elecions are over and the chic won...
The last 2 weeks has been frickin hell. Between being so angry (not at each other) that we were both in tears, having to pack our entire flat while trying to get remodeling crap done, spending money like we have it to spend and work being insane, I am incredibly knackered (euro-trash word there for you Sug)and I am not so sure I am entirely lucid anymore. I have uttered the words "never again" before and did it this time...but this time I mean it.
This Friday is definitely a get blind drunk Friday. We have agreed. The local pub is so close to my apartment I am calling it my livingroom and I am going to make liberal use of it...now if it only had my comfy couch in it...
Thursday, January 19, 2006
No niin...Huom: Osittain suomeksi..osittain englanniksi
Anzi, suomalainen ihminen, haastoi minut kertomaan viisi omituista tapaani. Tämä on oikein vaikea kysymys ja haaste. On tärkeää että olen rehellinen. Kaikki jotka lukevat tämän ovat varmoja että en ole Suomalainen. Mutta...Haluan yrittää kirjoittaa minun vastaukseni suomeksi Anzille... Kirjoitan englanniksi tämän jälkeen.
Mitä ovat viisi omituista tapaani...
1.) Olen samalainen kuin Anzi.... vessassa, vieraassakin sellaisessa, minun on ehdottomasti vaihdettava vessapaperirullan asentoa, mikäli paperi tulee alta eikä päältä..
2.) En voi käydä vessassa jos siellä on toinen ihminen sisällä. En pidä siitä kun toinen ihminen voi kuulla kun käyn vessassa.. olen ujo.
3.) En voi mennä kellarikerrokseen ilman toista ihmistä...Herra Jumala se on pelottavaa!!
4.) Kun syön omenaa...minä aina lisään sen päälle suolaa...Oikesti. Istun sohvalla ja toisessa kädessä on omena ja toisessa kädessä on suolaa...
5.)Olen suuri Barry Manilow-fani...
Okei..viimeinen juttu ei ole oikein "omituinen tapani"...mutta...
No niin Anzi...Oliko tämä mitä halusit tietää???? :)
_____________________________________________
Okay..so translation of the above:
Anzi, a Finnish person, challenged me to name 5 peculiar habits of mine. This is a really difficult question and challenge. It is important that I am honest. Everyone who reads this will be sure I am not a Fin. But, I want to try to write my answer in Finnish to Anzi. I'll write in English at the end.
What are my 5 peculiar habits:
1.) I am just like Anzii.. in the bathroom, if the toilet paperroll is the wrong way, I absolutely have to change the position so the paper comes from the top of the roll and not behind it.
2.) I can't use the bathroom if someone else is in there. I don't like it when someone else can hear when I use the bathroom..I am shy
3.)I can't go to the cellar/basement without someone else. Good God it is scary..
4.)When I eat an apple..I always put salt on it. Really. I sit on the sofa and in one hand is the apple and in the other hand is salt.
5.)I am a big Barry Manilow fan.
Okay the last one isn't really a "peculiar habit"...but...
So Anzi, is this what you wanted to know?
Mitä ovat viisi omituista tapaani...
1.) Olen samalainen kuin Anzi.... vessassa, vieraassakin sellaisessa, minun on ehdottomasti vaihdettava vessapaperirullan asentoa, mikäli paperi tulee alta eikä päältä..
2.) En voi käydä vessassa jos siellä on toinen ihminen sisällä. En pidä siitä kun toinen ihminen voi kuulla kun käyn vessassa.. olen ujo.
3.) En voi mennä kellarikerrokseen ilman toista ihmistä...Herra Jumala se on pelottavaa!!
4.) Kun syön omenaa...minä aina lisään sen päälle suolaa...Oikesti. Istun sohvalla ja toisessa kädessä on omena ja toisessa kädessä on suolaa...
5.)Olen suuri Barry Manilow-fani...
Okei..viimeinen juttu ei ole oikein "omituinen tapani"...mutta...
No niin Anzi...Oliko tämä mitä halusit tietää???? :)
_____________________________________________
Okay..so translation of the above:
Anzi, a Finnish person, challenged me to name 5 peculiar habits of mine. This is a really difficult question and challenge. It is important that I am honest. Everyone who reads this will be sure I am not a Fin. But, I want to try to write my answer in Finnish to Anzi. I'll write in English at the end.
What are my 5 peculiar habits:
1.) I am just like Anzii.. in the bathroom, if the toilet paperroll is the wrong way, I absolutely have to change the position so the paper comes from the top of the roll and not behind it.
2.) I can't use the bathroom if someone else is in there. I don't like it when someone else can hear when I use the bathroom..I am shy
3.)I can't go to the cellar/basement without someone else. Good God it is scary..
4.)When I eat an apple..I always put salt on it. Really. I sit on the sofa and in one hand is the apple and in the other hand is salt.
5.)I am a big Barry Manilow fan.
Okay the last one isn't really a "peculiar habit"...but...
So Anzi, is this what you wanted to know?
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Know what time it is?
Right...so I have taken a few days off of blogging because of being intensely and painfully busy at work; not to mention the remodel project...which is STILL going on...
Today I went blog surfing through my friends' blogs and discovered:
1.) Melanie lives vicariously though mine and Mira's livers.
2.) Kristin is presently avoiding rolling in dead chickens
3.) Sarah has a job were people wake her up multiple times a night...
4.) John doesn't post stuff to his blog for long periods of time and neither does Duane.
I also discovered that, whilst some would think of my drunken antics as insanely annoying and downright juvenile, my friends (and people I don't know who are listening in) seem to find my drunken phone calls in the middle of the Finnish night amusing... Who knew?! Seriously...I have this horrible habit...Okay WE have this horrible habit (aside from smoking) of having that 1 extra drink that puts over the "sensible and mature" behavior line and sends us at breakneck metabolism speed, reserved soley for alcoholic beverages, directly to making drunken phone calls across oceans, continents and time zones to those we love. Sarah even gave me her number after one drunken email to her explaining that I was drunk and wanted to call her but couldn't find her mobile number... The silly girl actually replied and GAVE it to me :) Ya get what ya give I say...
I am wondering if I should invest in this (from Geek.com):
..on second thought...Nahhhh....I like calling Kristin and telling her that I am drinking a lovely drink and she needs to go to work...I like calling Sarah and babbling about Mira eating carrots (not very "drunk" food I know Sarah..but hey..it was all that was worth eating in the house..and she LIKES carrots...ick), or Melanie and telling her that she is awesome and that I am drunk... and Beth...Oh poor Beth.. That woman gets calls from me at all frickin hours and random babble comes out of my mouth..and she puts up with it and still gives SUGA..
My friends ROCK ..seriously...
In case anyone was interested, my birthday was great...except for the throwing up part... Must have been something I ate.. Seriously. No joke. We went out for a lovely dinner... I had 2 glasses of wine and a fabulous asian fusion spicey noodle beef thinger to eat..it was yummy. Until about 10:12..when it came right back up. I have no idea why..
Oh..and also born on the same day as me (aside from Pepi..a friend's daughter who just turned 2)... :
1909 Ethel Merman, U.S. singer and actress, the "Queen of Broadway."
..might explain some cosmic reason for my big frickin mouth and loud voice...
Today I went blog surfing through my friends' blogs and discovered:
1.) Melanie lives vicariously though mine and Mira's livers.
2.) Kristin is presently avoiding rolling in dead chickens
3.) Sarah has a job were people wake her up multiple times a night...
4.) John doesn't post stuff to his blog for long periods of time and neither does Duane.
I also discovered that, whilst some would think of my drunken antics as insanely annoying and downright juvenile, my friends (and people I don't know who are listening in) seem to find my drunken phone calls in the middle of the Finnish night amusing... Who knew?! Seriously...I have this horrible habit...Okay WE have this horrible habit (aside from smoking) of having that 1 extra drink that puts over the "sensible and mature" behavior line and sends us at breakneck metabolism speed, reserved soley for alcoholic beverages, directly to making drunken phone calls across oceans, continents and time zones to those we love. Sarah even gave me her number after one drunken email to her explaining that I was drunk and wanted to call her but couldn't find her mobile number... The silly girl actually replied and GAVE it to me :) Ya get what ya give I say...
I am wondering if I should invest in this (from Geek.com):
"The folks at Virgin Mobile of Australia seem to be thinking outside the box. Just in time for the holiday season and its numerous parties, a new service will be provided by the wireless company that will prevent embarrassing late-night drunken phone calls. This seems to be quite a problem, considering the company surveyed 409 people and found that 95% of them have made drunken phone calls. Wireless customers will now be able to save themselves by dialing 333 then entering a number they would like to be blocked from calling. For US$0.25 that number will be blocked until 6 A.M. the following day. Now if a wireless company could only prevent you from hitting on your boss's wife at the company Christmas party and take your keys when your cellphone detects you've had too much to drink, it'd really be offering the holiday drunk a true suite of services."
..on second thought...Nahhhh....I like calling Kristin and telling her that I am drinking a lovely drink and she needs to go to work...I like calling Sarah and babbling about Mira eating carrots (not very "drunk" food I know Sarah..but hey..it was all that was worth eating in the house..and she LIKES carrots...ick), or Melanie and telling her that she is awesome and that I am drunk... and Beth...Oh poor Beth.. That woman gets calls from me at all frickin hours and random babble comes out of my mouth..and she puts up with it and still gives SUGA..
My friends ROCK ..seriously...
In case anyone was interested, my birthday was great...except for the throwing up part... Must have been something I ate.. Seriously. No joke. We went out for a lovely dinner... I had 2 glasses of wine and a fabulous asian fusion spicey noodle beef thinger to eat..it was yummy. Until about 10:12..when it came right back up. I have no idea why..
Oh..and also born on the same day as me (aside from Pepi..a friend's daughter who just turned 2)... :
1909 Ethel Merman, U.S. singer and actress, the "Queen of Broadway."
..might explain some cosmic reason for my big frickin mouth and loud voice...
Friday, January 13, 2006
Ah..Nostalgia
Okay my friend Hale is feeling old. She isn't even 30 yet and she is feeling that way (read her post on her blog to find out why). We had a discussion (which she references in her post) once about 80's movies. I was in High School (Lukio for you Finns) in the 80's. Beth was in Uni. Yeah she is older than I am, but as she will always point out: "It's not the age honey it is the milage." She is right btw..it is all about the milage.
Anywho, with my birthday fast approaching and after reading Hale's post, I have started thinking about our conversation regarding 80's movies... I remember going to see Purple Rain and being mesmerized by Prince up on the screen.. What young adult in the 80's doesn't remember: The Breakfast Club, About Last Night, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Say Anything, Footloose, The Outsiders, Goonies, Better Off Dead, The Princess Bride, Some Kind of Wonderful... And for those of us who were into a more sophisticated fare: Against All Odds, The Accused, Amadeus, Blue Velvet, The Color Purple...and yes Steel Magnolias..
These are classics folks...seriously. Some of the best lines ever are from 80's movies...
"..say hello to my lill friend" - Al Pacino, "Scarface" - as Tony Montana
"..Demented and sad...but social" - The Breakfast Club
"Anyone..anyone..Bueller..Beuller" - Ferris Beuller's Day Off -
"You used to be fun. You used to be warped and twisted and hilarious... and I mean that in the best way - I mean it as a compliment! "- John Cusak - Say Anything -as Lloyd Dobler
"As you wish" - The Princess Bride
"We'll never make it.." Goonies
"2 dollars..I want my 2 dollars".. Better Off Dead
....One of my favorite exchanges in a movie ever!:
Clairee: *Here*!
[Grabs Ouiser by the shoulder and positions her in front of M'Lynn]
Clairee: *Hit this*! Go ahead M'Lynn, *slap her*!
Ouiser Boudreaux: [Taken aback and confused] Are you crazy?
Clairee: *Hit her*!
Ouiser Boudreaux: *Are you high, Clairee*?
Truvy: [In a frightened tone] Clairee, have you lost your mind?
Clairee: We'll sell t-shirts sayin' "I SLAPPED OUISER BOUDREAUX!" Hit her!
Annelle: [in a scared tone] Ms. Clairee, enoough!
Clairee: Ouiser, this is your chance to do something for your fellow man! Knock her lights out, M'Lynn!
Ouiser Boudreaux: [snatches away] Let go o' me!
Clairee: M'LYNN, YOU JUST MISSED THE CHANCE OF A LIFETIME! HALF O' CHIQUAPIN PARISH'LL GIVE THEIR EYE-TEETH TO TAKE A WHACK O' OUISER!
...ah...nostalgia... Warning to all of you who don't know this: Upon being in the same location for more than 10 mintues, K, Mel, Michael and I can go through almost the entire script of Steel Magnolias... Well to US it is amusing..and We ARE *THAT* funny!!!!!
Anywho, with my birthday fast approaching and after reading Hale's post, I have started thinking about our conversation regarding 80's movies... I remember going to see Purple Rain and being mesmerized by Prince up on the screen.. What young adult in the 80's doesn't remember: The Breakfast Club, About Last Night, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Say Anything, Footloose, The Outsiders, Goonies, Better Off Dead, The Princess Bride, Some Kind of Wonderful... And for those of us who were into a more sophisticated fare: Against All Odds, The Accused, Amadeus, Blue Velvet, The Color Purple...and yes Steel Magnolias..
These are classics folks...seriously. Some of the best lines ever are from 80's movies...
"..say hello to my lill friend" - Al Pacino, "Scarface" - as Tony Montana
"..Demented and sad...but social" - The Breakfast Club
"Anyone..anyone..Bueller..Beuller" - Ferris Beuller's Day Off -
"You used to be fun. You used to be warped and twisted and hilarious... and I mean that in the best way - I mean it as a compliment! "- John Cusak - Say Anything -as Lloyd Dobler
"As you wish" - The Princess Bride
"We'll never make it.." Goonies
"2 dollars..I want my 2 dollars".. Better Off Dead
....One of my favorite exchanges in a movie ever!:
Clairee: *Here*!
[Grabs Ouiser by the shoulder and positions her in front of M'Lynn]
Clairee: *Hit this*! Go ahead M'Lynn, *slap her*!
Ouiser Boudreaux: [Taken aback and confused] Are you crazy?
Clairee: *Hit her*!
Ouiser Boudreaux: *Are you high, Clairee*?
Truvy: [In a frightened tone] Clairee, have you lost your mind?
Clairee: We'll sell t-shirts sayin' "I SLAPPED OUISER BOUDREAUX!" Hit her!
Annelle: [in a scared tone] Ms. Clairee, enoough!
Clairee: Ouiser, this is your chance to do something for your fellow man! Knock her lights out, M'Lynn!
Ouiser Boudreaux: [snatches away] Let go o' me!
Clairee: M'LYNN, YOU JUST MISSED THE CHANCE OF A LIFETIME! HALF O' CHIQUAPIN PARISH'LL GIVE THEIR EYE-TEETH TO TAKE A WHACK O' OUISER!
...ah...nostalgia... Warning to all of you who don't know this: Upon being in the same location for more than 10 mintues, K, Mel, Michael and I can go through almost the entire script of Steel Magnolias... Well to US it is amusing..and We ARE *THAT* funny!!!!!
Thursday, January 12, 2006
My friends...
..are frickin hilarious. I think that they call me just to torture me. Today K decided to call me from an Irish bar in Seattle with John, Patricia and her husband Duane... They called because they were just about to have a Car Bomb and wanted to rub it in and figured if it was time for them to drink in the middle of the night half way around the world then it was time for me to get up for work (I was already there)... A car bomb...Ahhh the memories of Portugal with D and K...
Situation: D and K's honeymoon..in Portugal..I was there...(don't ask)..We went to an Irish bar and K was telling me about this drink...so I asked the Irish Bartendress if she knew how to make a "car bomb"...bad call I know...much maligning my intelligence (not by the bartendress but by my friends) ensued. Sooooo...I am of the firm belief that the bartender was sooo gay and soooo into me... the response I received from D and K that night..was sent again in a text message to me today: "You see gay people everywhere"...... WELL DUHHH!!!! We ARE everywhere!
THen I remember Pride in Tampere last year...OOOPS...I couldn't remember how to order one and the version I told the bartender to make would make ANYONE Hurl...
So..in case you were wondering.
Irish Car Bomb:
- 1/2 pint(s) Guinness Beer
- 1/2 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
- 1/2 oz Irish Whiskey
Situation: D and K's honeymoon..in Portugal..I was there...(don't ask)..We went to an Irish bar and K was telling me about this drink...so I asked the Irish Bartendress if she knew how to make a "car bomb"...bad call I know...much maligning my intelligence (not by the bartendress but by my friends) ensued. Sooooo...I am of the firm belief that the bartender was sooo gay and soooo into me... the response I received from D and K that night..was sent again in a text message to me today: "You see gay people everywhere"...... WELL DUHHH!!!! We ARE everywhere!
THen I remember Pride in Tampere last year...OOOPS...I couldn't remember how to order one and the version I told the bartender to make would make ANYONE Hurl...
So..in case you were wondering.
Irish Car Bomb:
- 1/2 pint(s) Guinness Beer
- 1/2 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
- 1/2 oz Irish Whiskey
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Finally!!!!
For those of you who don't know this..I am definitely NOT a morning person. I hate waking up, I hate getting out of bed, I am always cold and I am always whiney in the mornings. Seriously..I can't stand chipper people in the morning..they make my head hurt and my skin crawl. I have always been very honest about my lack of humor and down right groggyness in the morning...well now I know why.
Study: Waking up like being drunk
Wednesday, January 11, 2006;
Posted: 4:11 a.m. EST (09:11 GMT)
CHICAGO, Illinois (Reuters) -- If it takes a while to clear the cobwebs after waking up, that's understandable -- "sleep inertia" leaves some people so groggy they might as well be drunk, researchers said on Tuesday.
"For a short period, at least, the effects of sleep inertia may be as bad as or worse than being legally drunk," said researcher Kenneth Wright of the University of Colorado at Boulder.
That befuddled feeling usually lasts for at least a few minutes but may be detectable for up to two hours, Wright wrote in a report published in this week's issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association.
The findings are relevant to emergency workers such as firefighters, or for truck drivers and resident doctors who must spring into action after awakening from naps. A groggy driver is accident-prone, and a hazy doctor might make a mistake calculating a drug dosage, the report said.
Wright's study of 16 subjects found the most severe impairments were evident on performance tests taken during the first three minutes after awakening from an eight-hour sleep.
"We found the cognitive skills of test subjects were worse upon awakening than after extended sleep deprivation," he said.
There is evidence that the cortical areas of the brain thought to be responsible for problem-solving, complex thought and emotions take longer to wake up than other parts of the brain, Wright wrote.
Monday, January 09, 2006
...um...
FORT SUMNER, New Mexico (AP) -- A mouse got its revenge against a homeowner who tried to dispose of it in a pile of burning leaves. The blazing creature ran back to the man's house and set it on fire.
Luciano Mares, 81, of Fort Sumner said he caught the mouse inside his house and wanted to get rid of it.
"I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house," Mares said from a motel room Saturday.
Village Fire Chief Juan Chavez said the burning mouse ran to just beneath a window, and the flames spread up from there and throughout the house.
No was hurt inside, but the home and everything in it was destroyed.
Unseasonably dry and windy conditions have charred more than 53,000 acres and destroyed 10 homes in southeastern New Mexico in recent weeks.
"I've seen numerous house fires," village Fire Department Capt. Jim Lyssy said, "but nothing as unique as this one."
Score one for the little guys...but the poor 81 year old guy now has no home...let's just hope for an up to date home owner's insurance policy...
Luciano Mares, 81, of Fort Sumner said he caught the mouse inside his house and wanted to get rid of it.
"I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house," Mares said from a motel room Saturday.
Village Fire Chief Juan Chavez said the burning mouse ran to just beneath a window, and the flames spread up from there and throughout the house.
No was hurt inside, but the home and everything in it was destroyed.
Unseasonably dry and windy conditions have charred more than 53,000 acres and destroyed 10 homes in southeastern New Mexico in recent weeks.
"I've seen numerous house fires," village Fire Department Capt. Jim Lyssy said, "but nothing as unique as this one."
Score one for the little guys...but the poor 81 year old guy now has no home...let's just hope for an up to date home owner's insurance policy...
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Jesus H. Christ on a Pogo stick
This cold is kicking my tail feathers... I sound like this guy!
...seriously...
and for those of you who DON'T know who he is. His name is Harvey Fierstein and he has a voice which makes gravel sound musical...
UGH!!!
...seriously...
and for those of you who DON'T know who he is. His name is Harvey Fierstein and he has a voice which makes gravel sound musical...
UGH!!!
Monday, January 02, 2006
Yeah yeah yeah.. I know I know
I know...it has been a while since posting and you are all sad that I haven't posted in a while...Well I was in the States for the whirlwind trip to see the family for the Christmas holiday (5 days of my family and no privacy).... It was actually greaat to see everyone, but I was so tired of not having my own space after 4 days I couldn't wait to get back on the plane home to Helsinki... The topper of the trip was lunch on the day we left to come home. Yes folks I ate 2 boiled lobsters at lunch. You read that correctly..2. And they were glorious!
New Year's celebrations were low key with Hale and the gang...thanks to a killer head cold (thanks Rodge you bastard) I was not really in the celebratory mood. All I wanted was some tea and my comfy pj's and my bed...
On a funny note, I was browsing my friend's blog and he mentioned this website that allows you to see which celebrity you resemble most. You can upload several different photos of yourself (no they don't keep them) and see which celeb you look like in that photo. The ruling was that I either look like:
or:
-
Now..I have nothing against looking like Annette Bening, but Ariel Sharon?!?! I look like an old fat jewish guy??!?! WOW...
Beth will say I look like:
and she will also regale me with strains of "Jessie's Girl" warbled until I scream "FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!!! STOP!!!"
So...there you have it..I resemble either an activist Actress, an 80's pop/soap opera icon or an old fat jewish guy...
New Year's celebrations were low key with Hale and the gang...thanks to a killer head cold (thanks Rodge you bastard) I was not really in the celebratory mood. All I wanted was some tea and my comfy pj's and my bed...
On a funny note, I was browsing my friend's blog and he mentioned this website that allows you to see which celebrity you resemble most. You can upload several different photos of yourself (no they don't keep them) and see which celeb you look like in that photo. The ruling was that I either look like:
or:
-Now..I have nothing against looking like Annette Bening, but Ariel Sharon?!?! I look like an old fat jewish guy??!?! WOW...
Beth will say I look like:
and she will also regale me with strains of "Jessie's Girl" warbled until I scream "FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!!! STOP!!!"
So...there you have it..I resemble either an activist Actress, an 80's pop/soap opera icon
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
